


Time

by koderenn



Series: Sand and Storm [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Conflicted Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Visions, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, always in motion is the future, how long can Leia hold on to hope?, scenes of war, the universe is very unfair, this bond is having its toll on them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-06 09:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 52,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15191729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koderenn/pseuds/koderenn
Summary: A mortally wounded Kylo Ren is laying in the arms of Rey amidst the battlefield. "You can't escape fate, Rey," Leia had once said to her. "Just make sure that in the end, when everything has come to play, you will have no regrets."





	1. I know

He whispered her name. The word barely audible under the cacophony of the battle not far away. His eyes were shut. His brow uncreased, something so rare in his features. Body sprawled on the harsh ground and head cradled gently on her lap. Calmness had settled on him at odds with the chaos surrounding them. A shaky breath fanned wisps of hair on her forehead. “I thought I’d have more time. Maybe then I…“

  
“Shhh… It’s ok. Don’t think like that. We'll get a chance to talk about everything. Just not now.” There was no way she would let him waste whatever energy he had in words that didn’t matter. Finn would be here any minute. Chewbacca would be with him, she was certain of it. They’d promised her. “You’ve got to hold on till they come and then everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

  
“Rey…”

  
“No, no… Just hang on a little bit longer. Any minute now…” She glanced again behind the metal container hiding them from view, eyes wide, searching. Beseeching.

  
“Rey… Nobody is coming for me.”

  
She snapped her gaze back to him. His eyes were open, trained on hers.

  
Stars, his face was so pale… It made them look like burning embers.

  
“Of course they are,” she rasped in protest.

  
Was that her voice?

  
That didn’t sound like her.

  
Her throat was too tight, her eyes stinging, probably from all that damned smoke everywhere.

  
And where in the Force was Finn.

  
“I’m sorry,” he continued, licking his lips, parched and bloody. He took in a shattering breath, flinching in what must have been pain, that brow furrowing for a moment back to its usual state. “All the rage, all the hate… Look where it got us. You. Me.”

  
An explosion went off. Closer than she would have liked, as if in agreement with the man in her arms, rattling her teeth and deafening her ears. She found herself hunched over his body, the dust and debris settled on her back and hair. Her hand caressed the dust off his tresses and touched his cheek, the one with the scar she had gifted him once, now barely visible under the dirt and blood covering his face.

  
“Ben… I…” she swallowed, the words at the tip or her lips not made for this moment. Because if she uttered them now, it would feel like letting him go. She laced her fingers in his. He had to stay. Stay and hear them whispered someplace…else. Far away from here. Under a starry night or…

  
“I love you,” he said, his voice thick. His eyes searching her face and landing softly on hers. A rare smile barely visible, fleeted from his features. It made her chest clench, shattering her resolve.

  
_Gods, not here. Not like this. Not with the whole world crashing around us._

  
Her vision blurred. Wetness trailed down her cheeks and trickled on his temples. His lids fluttered closed.

  
_Don’t go._

  
_Please don’t leave me._

  
_Please…_

  
“I know,” she heard herself whisper back.


	2. Expecting too much

**Two standard lunar months ago**

 

Kylo Ren was not a patient man. Being sociable was not one of his strong traits either, but here he was sitting at the bar in a cantina of questionable hygiene, buried in the lower levels of Coruscant, waiting for _her._

 

He was very much aware of every dingy character in the room. An irritating group of humanoids were hustled together around tables in the middle of the room, laughing obnoxiously, slamming drinks and arguing over credits lost. A couple of shadier characters had preferred the darker more secluded areas of the cantina, shrinking away from prying eyes. A Hutt was nestled in a corner crunching on the bones of his latest meal and what seemed like the local drunkard had just taken residence two seats away from Ren.

 

Clothed discretely in his dark robe and hood, form slightly hunched over a drink, he listened and waited. Nobody was interested in him, he made sure of that with a little nudge from the Force.

 

Well, almost nobody…

 

“Want me to get you anythin’ else?” the bartender addressed him with a smirk and an annoying twinkle in his eyes.

 

“No.”

 

“How ‘bout I arrange for some company?”

 

“No,” he sniffed in contempt.

 

“Care for some...”

 

“Nyxx. I said no.”

 

The bartender undeterred leaned it slightly, pinning him with a pair of bright clever eyes amongst the heavy charcoal outlining them.

 

“Who you waitin’ for there, Ben?”

 

Kylo Ren would have normally bashed his head against the bar if it were anybody else. But he was the only friend left from a time long ago, when fellowship and trust came easy and the Force was used for different purposes.

 

“You’ll sense her when she comes,” he muttered, sipping from his drink.

 

As if on cue, the door opened with a bang and a familiar warmth brushed his consciousness. He turned slightly, his face still hidden under the shade of his hood and glanced at Rey as she smoothly made her way amongst the tables and the gaping patrons. He cursed under his breath.

 

_This girl needs to learn to hide herself better._

 

She sat a few of seats further down from him, radiating her presence and signaling for a drink.

 

“Duty calls,” Nyxx moved away with a knowing wink.

 

Kylo Ren studied her from the corner of his eyes, taking in the smile and lightness of her gestures.

 

_So fragile looking…_

 

But he knew better.

 

Nyxx was already making conversation with her with that brazen way of his, tattooed arms resting on the bar. She shook her head in response to a question and snapped something back with a narrowing of her eyes.

 

_Good girl._

 

Time to intervene.

 

***

She had to admit. This was far from what she expected when Kylo Ren reached out to her through their bond. Which had startled her enough, by the way, to bang her head on the panel hanging from Poe’s X wing. A thought had manifested itself in her mind, which she immediately recognized as his. A time, a place and a sense of urgency. It disappeared so quickly, that she was left momentarily questioning her sanity and wondering if her imagination had been playing tricks on her.

 

Obviously his grasp on the bond was evolving.

 

It didn’t seem like the bond obeyed her wishes, however because Kylo Ren was nowhere to be seen as she entered the crowded cantina. She scrunched her nose at the stale smell and smoke filling her senses and made her way to the bar.

 

She waved at the bartender all the while looking around for _him._

 

_Where in the Force could he be?_

 

“Don’t strain yourself too hard” the bartender said, interrupting her search. “Whoever it is you‘re searchin’ for, will find you soon enough”.

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be serving drinks and minding your own business?” she answered back, slightly unnerved by his brashness.

 

“My business might be very similar to yours, honey, for all you know,” he pressed on with a smile on his eyes.

 

_Definitely the wrong place to meet._

 

Rey felt rather than saw the shadow passing behind her, but his rumbled voice resonated deep in her core in a very familiar way.

 

“Follow me”.

 

And she did.

 

Her eyes set on his broad shoulders, she easily caught up to his tense stride as he cut through the stifling crowd. They quietly slipped through the back door into a damp corridor. Grasping her lightly by the elbow he led her through a narrow door to an empty storage room.

 

Rey couldn’t help but wonder why his behavior was so secretive. An imposing figure such as him always dragged attention at his wake, but somehow not a single soul had glanced their way this whole time.

 

And what was she supposed to do now.

 

_Do I draw my lightsaber?_

 

She stood there staring at Kylo Ren, under what must have been the only ray of light in the room simmering through a crack in the wall, wishing she could drag this man away from his shadows and into the sun.

 

He approached, removed his hood and stopped a foot away from her. The thin line between darkness and light a barrier he did not wish to cross.

 

_His hair is longer._

 

And the scar was healing, barely visible since the last time she had seen him.

 

_Since I deserted him…_

 

“General Hux is planning the assassination of General Organa,” he spoke. His deep voice bringing her out of her thoughts. “He will succeed because two of my knights have been tasked to do it.”

 

_What?_

 

“How is that possible?” She exclaimed. “You are the Supreme Leader now. Aren’t they under your jurisdiction?”

 

“And why, as Supreme Leader, wouldn’t I want the Resistance General and sister to Luke Skywalker dead?” He bit back, eyes focused intensely on her.

 

Rey seldom found herself in a spot unable to snap back a quick retort. This was one of them.

 

“Why are you telling me this?” She asked in a low voice laced with concern, unable to stop herself from stepping closer to him. She could sense his anguish and conflict swiveling around him like a haze.

 

“You know why…” he answered, her proximity causing him to look away.

 

“Do you know when? How…?”

 

“Not yet.” His words were laconic. His demeanor apprehensive. Maybe even frigid. Nothing about him reminded Rey of the man who had offered her the galaxy in a trembling hand.  His eyes were trained on some spot on the wall avoiding hers at all cost. “Tell her she must switch ships taking with her the most trusting personel. Divide the remaining members of the Resistance between the two spaceships and always keep moving. She must not under any circumstances transmit her coordinates to anybody outside her ship. Understand?”

 

_Loud and clear._

 

“Yes,” she clipped back, her face assuming a similar rigidity to his.

 

He reached for her hand setting a small object in her palm. He curled his warm fingers around hers engulfing it completely.

 

“This is a black kyber crystal. It belonged to Snoke. It will enhance her force sensitivity and attune it to the Dark side. She’ll sense my knights when they come for her.”

 

“It doesn’t sound very reliable,” she objected with a frown.

 

“It isn’t. She can’t hold on to it forever. But she won’t need to.”

 

He stepped away pulling his hood over his head.

 

“You’ll have to stay in touch and inform me,” she rushed to say. “Through the bond, I mean.”

 

_He’s leaving already?_

Ren held her gaze for a moment or two. Brown eyes locked on hazel. His hesitation like a tide touching the rim of her mind. And then it withdrew.

Without another word he slipped silently through the door and swiftly disappeared.

 

 

 ***

 

“You can’t be serious! Leia please tell me you’re not considering this” Poe objected, setting his hands on the table in front of him and leaning into Leia with a glare.

 

“Poe, calm down,” she said unperturbed. “Let Rey finish.”

 

It was just the three of them in her office aboard the _Titan._ The blue streaks of the hyperspace lane illuminating the viewport as they made their way to Chandrilla, home to a senator and very dear friend of hers. It hadn’t been easy trying to build their cause from scraps. The Resistance’s supporters weren’t as vocal as they used to be before the destruction of the Hosnian system and the near extinction of the Resistance on Crait. But they were present and offering assistance as discretely as possible.

 

_The New Republic had to crumble for the worlds to realize the threat the First Order posed on simple liberties._

 

Leia nodded for Rey to continue. She had to admit. The girl’s story sounded unbelievable to say the least.  A meeting between Rey and her son under unexplained circumstances, because he wished to save his mother from an assassination.

 

_After everything that’s gone down._

 

_Why?_

 

And Rey was obviously hiding something.

 

“Look I know it’s difficult to believe. The things he’s done… It doesn’t make sense. But General…” Rey continued with eagerness in her voice.

 

Leia lifted a hand at Poe, who was about to make another comment, silencing him.

 

“I’m not saying I don’t believe you. I’m only trying to figure out his motives.”

 

“Leia,” Rey approached the table staring at her with those luminous eyes of hers. “He doesn’t want you to die. He’s…” she paused, searching for what seemed like the right words, before shaking her head and continuing fiercely. “He’s not as dark as you believe. There’s this battle around him, a constant clash within the Force that torments him. I think that’s what led him to me.”

 

“Tell me about that crystal again.”

 

 Rey fumbled in her pouch producing the small black stone Kylo Ren had given her. “Here. This is the kyber crystal he claims belonged to Snoke. It’s supposed to help you sense the two knights when they come for you.”

 

Leia took it, studying it carefully in her palm.

 

_It feels so cold. Like a black hole absorbing light._

 

“What else did he say?” Leia looked up, a slight waver in her voice.

 

Rey’s eyes so intense and fierce immediately filled with sympathy.

 

“Nothing else apart from what I’ve already said,” she answered softly.

 

Leia shifted her seat to face the window. A means to escape their concerned looks which only accentuated the constant ache inside her. Ben according to Rey was trying to save her. Hope was flaring in her heart and along with it dread. What if this was a trap to wipe out the last members of the Resistance and the last of his family as well?

 

Leia closed her eyes with a sigh.

 

She centered herself trying to follow that thread in the Force opening up to the possibilities ahead. Searching her feelings, like Luke used to say, and choosing a path was never an easy decision.

 

_Some of those paths had led to destruction._

 

Leia didn’t know how long she had been in meditation. Opening her eyes, she turned to focus on her two friends standing on the other side of the desk. Poe had his arms crossed in front of him, a gloomy expression on his face, while Rey stood straight and hopeful.

 

“Well then, it seems like it’s time for us to get another ship,” she commented a few moments later with a small smile tugging on her lips.

 

“You’re thinking of following his plan?” Poe grumbled.

 

“It’s a good plan. Why not?”

 

***

 

Poe huffed in frustration. When exactly did their roles get reversed? He was the impulsive one, the General was the voice of reason. As simple as that. He pressed his hand on the panel, entering his quarters and tossing his jacket on the first piece of furniture he came across.

 

 He turned to look at Rey aiming for her help in dissuading their boss, but he stumbled across one of her smiles. Those disarming ear to ear grins topped by a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

 

“We could lure them to a place of our choice and take them out you know,” she beamed.

 

_This keeps getting better and better._

 

“We are talking about two Dark knights here, Rey” he commented with a role of his eyes. “They’ll probably read our minds while we are still in hyperspace.”

 

“It’s better than letting them come to us on their terms,” she responded “We can’t be running away from them forever.”

 

He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose and exhaling slowly.

 

“Come here,” he said opening his arms for her. She immediately complied, relaxing in his embrace as he set a kiss on her temple and then her lips. “Let’s just think this through before we start leaving a trail of crumbs for them to follow.”

 

“Poe we can’t allow them to get to Leia,” she looked up, eyes resolved.

 

“I know…”

 

“Besides…” she continued chewing on her lip. A sign he recognized as hesitation. “Kylo Ren was the one who gave us the information. We have to put some faith in him. He’ll find a way to help us.”

 

Poe pulled away slightly, glancing down at her. “It doesn’t mean we can trust him, Rey, just because he is Leia’s son.”

 

“I believe he doesn’t want his mother to be killed,” she frowned “That’s a step towards the right direction.”

 

_This girl never loses hope. Even for a monster like Kylo Ren._

 

“You are expecting too much from this man. You’ll be disappointed.”

 

_And so will Leia._

 

*** 

 

Coruscant had an army of its own and an economy that could sustain it under the harshest of sieges. It would not fall as easily as Hux thought.

 

Kylo Ren listened attentively to his General’s carefully laid out plans, along with the rest of the military council surrounding him. He hated the man. But his strategy was solid and it made the invasion of Coruscant sound like a definite victory. Plans, however, rarely followed their maker’s wishes.

 

He drummed his fingers on the pristine onyx table of the conference room, stealing looks at the expressions of his officers and reaching out for their emotions. Everyone seemed convinced about the General’s success.

 

_Blind fools._

 

Ren clenched his jaw, his gloved hand gripping the arm of his chair and trying but probably failing to keep his scowl from appearing on his face. At times as these he missed hiding behind that wretched mask. Being forced to school his expressions at all times frustrated him. And frustration led to rage. Rage led to destructive tantrums. Which he were not allowed to have as Supreme Leader.

 

 He instinctively reached for that spot hidden at the depths of his mind, a door to the bond.

 

_To her._

 

Rey’s light could be sensed with even the faintest of brushes against the bond and it was so soothing. He pressed his lips, determined not to follow the thread leading to her. It was so damn alluring.

 

Ren shifted in his seat. Hux was animatedly pointing to a part of the holoprojection in the middle of the table, disputing with one of the admirals. Brute force was not the key to breaking Coruscant. A plan had been forming in his mind for some time now, that would allow its conquer without obliterating the capital.

 

He followed the discussion between his officers for a little while before his thoughts drifted back to the girl. Her eyes were hazel. He remembered taking note of them in the dark room as a beam of light illuminated her figure. And her face was rounder, healthier, with lips tinted pink.

_She’s been eating better._

 

Part of him felt satisfied in seeing her like that. She seemed content, almost happy. That shroud of loneliness no longer enveloping her. How foolish of him to think that there had been a deeper connection between them, other than this irritating bond. An understanding…

 

But the girl had let him down. He had turned the world inside out for her and it wasn’t enough. _He_ wasn’t enough. And that stung. He tried not to think of her. Had raised steel walls and set chains and heavy locks around the bond, to prevent himself from accessing it after her betrayal. Her desertion.

 

_Force that hurt._

 

The holoprojector cracked, the fracture continuing down the table and splitting it in half. Startled eyes turned to look at him, along with a very indignant General Hux.

 

“Which part of the plan is not to your liking, Supreme Leader?” he hissed, icy eyes pinned on Ren.

 

All these years and he still couldn’t reign in his emotions.

 

“You surely do not expect to take over Coruscant without first wiping out any external transactions and communications. Do you, General?” his voice boomed in the silence following his assumed act of displeasure. “Its economy is the center of the galaxy. Cripple it and Coruscant will fall.”

 

“The Star Destroyers in orbit will be programmed to take out all the key est…”

 

“It’s not enough!” Ren seethed.

 

Hux flinched, a strand of copper hair falling from place. He nervously glanced around the table at the other officers sitting as still as statues. Kylo Ren stood up, an air of finality in his movement.

 

“We must level all electronics when we attack. Power, communications, transports. Everything must be shut down. There is no point in annihilating its people, General. We make them submit.”

 

“And how do you propose we do that … Supreme Leader? Taking over a world without shedding blood,” he snickered eliciting a low mumble from the rest of the officers around the broken table.

 

_The Hosnian system was enough blood spent._

 

He could feel the enormous gap distorting the Force every time he meditated.

 

Kylo Ren fixed everyone with a stare, all sound slowly dying out.

 

“A virus.  We create a cyber virus and unleash it on their systems during the invasion.”

 

“But sir…” a voice came from one of the commanders on his his right side. “A program that could eradicate all systems, I don’t think that’s…”

 

“The First Order created Starkiller base. We have the best engineers in the galaxy. Do not tell me it cannot be done!” he shouted, fury finally breaking through. “You have one lunar month to prepare.”

 

All pairs of eyes were trained on him in fear. All apart for one. General Hux was glaring him with venom from across the broken table.

 

Kylo Ren set his hood over his head and strode out of the room.

 

*** 

 

Those First Order guys were as stiff as they would come. Stunk a parsec away in their immaculate undercover clothes.

 

Nyxx wiped down the spots on the bar, left by their last occupants, he threw the towel over his shoulder and chugged some liquor from his bottle.

 

 It was actually rather funny watching them try to blend in. There were only two this time around. Both humanoids, of course. They usually didn’t cause much trouble while fishing for information around, which is how he liked things in his cantina. Even though there were exceptions at times.

 

A Hutt raised his paw for refills.

 

_Fuck_.

 

He’d have to throw away the glasses afterwards. No way in Mustafar’s hell would he wash those after a Hutt drank from them.

 

Nyxx glanced back at the First Order guys approaching a table at the corner of the cantina. It seemed like they were interested in Clance.

 

_Huh…_

 

She was a sweet woman, screws a little loose up in the head, but was one hell of a slicer. Went into hiding after the Empire fell, but never bothered a soul other than that.

 

He reached for his pack of smokes. Adding a strand on a small piece of paper, he licked its edges and rolled it together. Then set it alight with a little help from the Force. No one would notice anyway. He dragged in some of the soothing smoke, exhaling it from his nostrils all the while eyeing the small party at the corner of the room.

 

He had served two drinks, one to a smuggler and one to the local drunkard, pried that annoying creature named Teedo from the cantina’s generator, and washed the remaining glasses by the time they all got up, including Clance and walked out.

 

_Huh…_

 

He wondered if Leia would be interested to know about this.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They are not on the best of terms I guess. Ren being all bitter and unforgiving and all. This is a slow burn story with an actual plot and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it! Drop a review if you feel like it. I'd like to know what you think : )


	3. Sharp edges

Rey walked into Leia’s office wishing to speak to her about the malfunctions in the hyperdrive of the ship they were about to purchase. It was fairly late in the evening, but the General was known for her insomnia.

 

The lights were slightly dimmed as she walked in, bathing the simple tidy room in a honey glow. An ornate vase with freshly picked flowers, obviously from their recent stay in Chandrilla, sat on the edge of an office, adding color to the room’s scarce furniture. A holopad was still activated, meaning Leia would be returning soon enough. There was a cape strewn on the floor, probably having slipped from the chair nearby. So Rey picked it up and carefully set it neatly folded on the surface of the office, gently running her fingers through the silk fabric. She sucked in a deep breath at the realization that this woman was the closest she ever had to a mother figure in her life.

 

A sliver of envy wedged itself in her chest for the man who had it all and threw it away like a temperamental child. Yet his loneliness was as intense as hers those few moments over the small fire in the hut of Ach-to. And surrounding the loneliness a burning need to be accepted for the man he is. All his life everybody tried to sculpt him into something he wasn’t, but his edges were too sharp and his core unstable and everyone failed.

 

_Including me._

 

A small black stone on the floor caught her attention and she immediately recognized it as Snoke’s kyber crystal. She reached for it and went to set it on the table, only to discover…it was no longer there.

 

_She swirled around in a bright sunny room, eyes wide taking in the open balcony windows, with its soft curtains shifting from the light breeze. A messy large bed sat in the middle of the room and she could hear children’s giggles coming from outside. A strong arm came around her waist and a set of warm lips kissed her lightly under her ear. “Sleep well?” a voice breathed close to her neck. The sweetness of the moment soothed her body. Her hand reached back, fingers threading through the familiar short dark curls._

_Perfect. It should feel perfect._

 

But the voice was wrong and so were the curls under her fingertips. And a longing was set deep in her soul, an ache for something unfulfilled.

 

_The rooms shifted. Darkness falling around her until the only thing she could see was the vastness of stars splayed before her. Her hand reached for them but came across cold_ duraglass _instead. Light murmurs and beeping sounds came from behind her, accents of red light reflected from the metal beams overhead. The telltale sign of a_ spaceship _bridge. Heavy measuring steps approached her, stopping only when they had reached her side. She turned her head to the sight of Kylo Ren’s profile gazing out the window. Long dark strands of hair along with a few streaks of white. A goatee around those full lips. A clench to his jaw and a hardness in his eyes. She reached her leather gloved hand for his, squeezing it in acknowledgment and his eyes shifted to hers. Brown eyes on hazel and she knew he was her destiny._

 

_Perfect. It should feel perfect._

 

But the black robes on her shoulders and the lead weighing in her soul spoke of a life chained to Darkness.

 

_An explosion went off shaking the ground. Rubble collapsed from the building across the street sending dust and ash in the air. She was on her knees panting, dirt and blood covering her hands as she frantically pressed a rag on the wound of the dying man on her lap. Her throat felt raw and her eyes stung and her heart was ripped in two. A world was falling apart around her but all that mattered was the man in her arms._

 

_Wrong. This is so wrong._

 

But the warmth of his eyes on her face and the stuttering of her heart whispered of home.

 

A set of soft warm hands cradled her face and wiped her tears away. She opened her eyes to the sight of Leia leaning over her fallen body. Concern was drawn on her features and an expert hand was already checking for injuries.

 

“What happened, child?”

 

Rey didn’t know herself. She blinked a few times trying to shake the haze from her mind. She vaguely remembered reaching for a small black object before the images burned in her mind took over her consciousness.

 

“I’ve felt this before.” she uttered, still overcome by the last scene she had witnessed. “Back in Takodana, when I touched Luke’s lightsaber”.

 

Leia’s eyes darkened, her hand patting the sweat from Rey’s brow with a cloth.

 

“I’m no expert in this but it seems like you just awoke from a Force vision.” she said pulling herself up with some difficulty and reaching for her cane. Rey quickly followed, helping the General to a chair.

 

“I’m alright, I’m alright… A broken knee gives me a bit of a hard time once in a while,” she commented with a wave of her hand.

 

Rey shook her head, tears springing in her eyes again. How were all these images connected to each other? Was this her future?

 

And how in the Maker’s name was to tell this woman that her son could die _?_

 

“I hate these visions. They are terrifying and I don’t know what to do with them.”

 

Leia exhaled slowly, eyeing Rey a few moments before she began.

 

“I remember Luke being haunted by visions. He used to spend hours talking about them with me. A lot of good that did. In the end, everything went according to his biggest fears no matter how much we plotted and schemed to prevent them.”

 

And then she went on to speak stories of a boy with tussled black hair and a big smile that wanted to be the best pilot in the galaxy. Of the terrors that plagued him at nights. Of a father who adored his son and hated the force that seemed to torment his boy so much.  Tales of the mythical Skywalker, Master to a new generation of Jedi at day, restless man at nights studying and meditating, trying to learn what he himself had never been taught. She spoke of a mother who believed she could make the galaxy a better place for her son, but was unable to chase away the nightmares in her boy’s life. She spoke of mistakes and regrets. Of a broken family and a lost son.

 

“You can’t escape fate Rey,” Leia said, a sadness settling on her shoulders. “Just make sure you follow what you feel is right, so in the end when everything comes to play, you will have no regrets”.

 

Rey wrapped her arms around herself. She understood what Ben’s mother was trying to tell her.

 

“Now go rest. We have work to do tomorrow”.

 

***

 

Kylo Ren turned off the running water on the sink and inspected the deep cut on his left bicep. It definitely needed stitches. He huffed and pulled his black tank top over his chest as he made his way to his bedroom. Fights were not rare in the Knights’ ranks, but hostility amongst them was escalating since Snoke’s death. Valek, his second in command tasked with killing his mo- , no, General Organa, was the most challenging of the bunch, obviously eyeing the position of Master of the knights. But the dispute had ended with a force choke and a visit to the medical bay.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed gazing out the large viewport, face drawn from lack of sleep and muscles aching from exertion.  His thoughts drifted to Rey as if by default. Her rejection gnawed at his pride even after all these months.

 

_One more person to add to the list of people wishing to change me_.

 

He couldn’t help himself when he reached for that thread deep inside him, the bond connecting him to Rey. He lurked on the outskirts of her mind, sensations and fleeting emotions caressing his consciousness and drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Her warmth was so inviting and so soothing that he accidentally brushed against her mind. Immediately he flinched, scolding himself for his stupidity and weakness. 

 

***

 

Rey could not shake away the thought that showers were a luxury. Even after all these months away from Jakku, the desert girl inside her rebelled at the waste of water. Dressed in comfortable night clothes, hair still dripping on her shoulders she climbed on her bunk with a holopad in hand to do some researching. BB-8’s lens had fogged up and needed to be replaced, the droid beeping his annoyance in binary every chance it had.

 

She had just discovered how to dismantle its camera and fix it when she felt a feathery brush in her mind, a sensation familiar yet not hers, so she automatically reached for it and pulled.

 

***

 

 It felt nothing like the previous time their minds had joined. He’d been too engrossed in his search for Skywalker to appreciate her crystal thoughts running by and the richness of her emotions surrounding him. He wanted to stay and _bask_ in them.

 

But her awareness shifted and he felt her thoughts sharpening to a spear.

 

_Get out!_

 

Her shove, however, was as fierce as he remembered it.

 

Kylo Ren found himself standing in a small room facing a very vexed Rey sitting cross-legged in a tiny bunk. Truth be told, he had no excuse.

 

“Just what do you think you’re doing?” She snapped at him.

 

“Don’t act all bothered about this bond,” he scoffed. “You know it’s beyond my control as well.”

 

“I wouldn’t say that,” she quickly answered back, her annoyance bleeding through their bond. “You know exactly how to manipulate it to your needs.”

 

“My needs? Isn’t that a bit daring for you to assume?” The implications behind her words were too tempting to surpass and he couldn’t help the small smile that tugged on the corner of his lips. Part of him enjoyed getting a rise from her.

 

A drop of water fell from her hair to her collarbone and he followed the trail with his eyes as it landed between…

 

“Don’t twist my words around,” she furrowed her brows at him. “When you wish to get in contact with me you know exactly how. I’d rather you stayed out of my head if there is nothing important to say.”

 

“If I recall correctly, _you_ wished to stay in touch with me last time we met in Coruscant,” he taunted, with a small tilt of his head.

 

“That’s not what I had in mind.”

 

“And what kind of double-crossing plans _did_ you have in mind?”

 

She flinched at his words. Her cross demeanor immediately switching to one of hurt. It seemed like he had hit a particularly painful spot in their short heated history.

 

_Good._

 

Rey got off her bed approaching him slowly and coming to a stop a couple of feet away. She glared at him behind accusing eyes.

 

“Is that what you think of me? Do you believe I’d do that to you?”

 

He did.

 

_And you have._

 

“You manipulated me and I killed Snoke because of you,” he looked at her, eyes boring intensely into hers.

 

“Don’t you dare blame that on me,” she spat back. “That was your decision alone.”

 

_Like hell it was._

 

“He was going to kill you! I sliced him in half for you. And when the time came to stand by me you left me!”

 

“That is not what happened,” she shook her head in denial, looking away from him as her eyes turned glassy.

 

Oh, he knew exactly what had happened. Felt the cold sting of her decision and the bitterness that followed it till now.

 

“You deserted me.”

 

“I came to bring you home!” She exclaimed, the surge of emotion so similar to the one he had felt emanating from her back in that fateful day, hooked in his chest threatening to reopen that gash he had meticulously stitched together these past months. “I saw the Light in you and wanted to bring you back with me. But power was the only thing in your mind.” A tear spilled over that she quickly rubbed away. “I could never be part of the First Order. You should have known that about me.”

 

Only he hadn’t had enough time to discover that.

 

The awkwardness of the moment caused his fists to clench. The girl was staring at him in expectation, but his tongue was in a knot and his thoughts were fleeing from his mind chased away by the mere sight of her in tears.

 

“There is no Light left in me,” he stated in a low voice.

 

“We both know that’s not true.”

 

There she was looking at him with that hopeful expression on her features again, chiseling away at his walls. He glanced away unable to withstand the heat in her eyes.

_Coward._

 

Ren chastised himself.

 

“Do you have any new information about Leia?” Rey continued, dragging his attention back to that pretty face of hers.

 

“My warning and advice is more information than your cause deserves,” he answered back, unable to contain his resentment.

 

He immediately regretted his reply, when he saw the fleeting hurt in her eyes again. But soon enough it disappeared and was replaced by steel. And along with that, a cold hardness laced her voice.

 

“Why do you do that? Why do you push away everyone in your life? Is that how the Dark side is supposed to feel like, because I pity you.”

 

_Pity. Me?_

 

He narrowed his eyes and clenched his jaw in return.

 

“You and Organa’s righteous causes are the biggest lie in the galaxy. Promising hope and reform, while everything remains the same.”

 

“Change takes time and effort and good will,” she rebuked him taking a step towards him. “Things you know nothing about.”

 

“Don’t presume to know me.”

 

“You despise everything your family stands for, why?”

 

“It is none of your concern. Stop mingling in my affairs,” he gritted his teeth as anger started rising in his chest.

 

“Is that what you call it?” Rey looked appalled, as her face heated and a finger was pointed at his chest. “You come to me, begging for my help to protect your mother and now you tell me your affairs are none of my concern? You insufferable brat. Your family…”

 

“They are no longer my family. They never were,” he growled. He would deny the very existence of the Force at this moment, in his rage. “All that the mighty Skywalker twins and Han Solo the legendary hero cared about was saving the galaxy. They never had time or patience to…”

 

_No. He was not having this discussion with her._

 

“To what? Pay attention to you? You _had_ their love, you ungrateful nerfhead! You still have your mother’s love, even after everything that has happened. Nothing is ever enough for you.”

 

He pressed his lips as fury spilled over in his chest. He crossed the distance between them in one stride and towered over her. The judgment in her eyes making him want to lash back.

 

“My mother’s love? Does the little desert scavenger want part of that, just the way she went after my father’s and my uncle’s?”

 

The words suspended in the air between them as she locked eyes and breath with his.

 

The slap came so fast he barely caught her intent.

 

“Leave” her lips trembled. “Do not speak to me again or I will drive my saber through your heart, son or no son of Leia’s.”

 

Her figure vanished and he found himself back in his empty quarters. His cheek throbbed in contrast to the coldness around him. Running his fingers through his hair he started pacing the room trying to find a way to unleash the turmoil in his chest.

 

Kylo Ren found it in his grandfather’s frail mask, as he picked it up and hurled it to the nearest wall.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a very big fan of Ben's redemption arc, but I believe multiple factors would come to play for him to leave the First Order, besides Rey (which is the obvious one.) So yeah, there's a plot with some dark moments in it, as the story unfolds. I'd love to know what you think, so drop a comment if you feel like it! Thank you for the kudos and the interest you have shown so far. Bear with me, it'll be an angsty ride.


	4. An apology and a promise

In the next few days Rey discovered her head to be oddly quiet. The presence that hovered a thought away, absent. And it made her restless. She hadn’t realized how accustomed she had become to this man’s gripping emotions.

 

It was fairly late in the evening and she was working on Poe’s X wing again, trying to find the leak in the cooling system.  Rey had followed every single pipe line with reverence, at least twice and she still couldn’t pinpoint the damage. Engine oil had leaked down the back of her uniform, sticking uncomfortably on her skin, her belly was growling in hunger and now her flashlight was running out of power.

 

She cursed in the only language that felt proper for this moment. Huttese.

 

 Frustration was taking over the rational, levelheaded part of her brain making her clumsy. A jolt of electricity ran through her hand, as she accidentally touched an exposed wire and she withdrew it in an instant, efficiently banging it on a sharp metal corner of a panel. Flashing pain ran down her arm and she bit her lip in an attempt to gulp down her scream.

 

That had really hurt.

 

“You’re bleeding,” a voice came from behind her.

 

She turned her head in surprise, very much aware that nobody would come looking for her in this ungodly hour. Poe had the bridge for the night and he rarely left it while on duty.

 

“Your hand, it’s bleeding from a cut on your palm,” Ren stated calmly, sitting cross-legged on the floor. Probably in some meditation position.

 

Rey glanced at the drop of blood making its way down her wrist and reached for a rag hanging from her uniform’s pocket to apply pressure on it.

 

“You’re not seriously considering using that are you?” He asked staring at the piece of cloth rather indignant.

 

“I’ll get it cleaned up a little later, it’s not that bad,” she shrugged.

 

“It’ll get infected.”

 

Rey shot him a glare.

 

“I’ve had worse.”

 

“It probably needs stitches too.”

 

_Ok. What the…_

 

“Why do you care so much?” She exploded incredulous. It was just a cut, and he had disappeared for days, and no one gave him the right to just barge into their bond like that, giving her instructions like the insufferable spoiled prince that he was.

 

He stared at her for a moment or two, a strange expression etched on his face. Then he unfolded himself from his stance on the floor and slowly approached her. Ren stood rigid a step away from her, taking her bleeding hand in his. His gloves were off and he caressed the inside of her hand with his thumb, without taking his eyes from hers.

 

“It definitely needs stitches. Go to the medical bay and have it checked out,” he ordered in his rumbled voice.

 

A ripple went down her back at the feel of his touch. Rey had been fumingly mad at him for days now. It was disappointing to see how easily her anger towards him dissipated after a mere couple of soft spoken words from him. It reminded her too much of their first encounters in the Force.

 

She pulled her hand from his.

 

“Is this some kind of apology for what you said to me a few days ago?  Because it’s not very convincing.”

 

“I never apologize,” he quipped.

 

_Right._

 

“I’ll get my hand checked out, since you seem so concerned about it. You may leave now,” she stated with a curt nod, staring him down with the most frigid look she could master.

 

He held her gaze as silence stretched between the two of them.

 

“You should have accepted my offer at the _Supremacy,_ ” his answer came. “We would have been formidable you and I.”

 

Her lips parted for a response. But none came.

 

Ren looked away a feeling of fluster emanating from him. “My offer still stands,” he added as he quickly stepped away and disappeared.

 

***

 

The small party slowly made its way down the sunlit outer corridor of the palace, footsteps echoing from marble surfaces in the serenity of the morning. The young Queen of Naboo was dressed casually for her standards and in step next to her, Leia wore a grey gown, her usual color since Han’s death. Rey was following right behind and two guards along with Chewbacca ended the small procession.

 

 It was a beautiful day. The kind that helped one forget the war tearing the galaxy at the sims. Leia was particularly enjoying the bright sunlight warming her face, after being on board a starship day in and day out.

 

_Nothing to worry about._

 

But a foreboding feeling hummed in the Force, prickling her senses.

 

The talks with the Queen and her council had gone as expected. They wished to support as discretely as possible but wanted to avoid direct confrontation with the First Order. The same answer as Chandrilla and Plexus. The next stop would be Coruscant. She had gained two more battleships from all these talks, raising their number to three, along with new recruits.

 

But fear was palpable on every world she had visited.

 

“General,” Rey mumbled next to her, a frown creasing her usually clear brow. “I sense something in the Force. I… I don’t know how to describe it.”

 

Leia knew exactly what Rey was talking about, as she too had been sensing that same shift in the balance of the Force. Like clouds drowning the sun. She set her hands in the folds of her gown where the kyber crystal was hidden, feeling heat radiating from it.

 

_A warning._

 

It seems like Ben had been unable to call off the attempt. But notifying her had been more than she ever expected of him.

 

“I don’t know how much time I have,” she answered back in a low voice, not wishing to alarm anyone else. She turned, gazing steadily at Rey and squeezed the kyber crystal in the girl’s hand. “Hold on to hope and never stop fighting for what you believe is right, no matter what happens to me.”

 

Rey froze, causing the rest of the party to come to an abrupt halt as well.

 

“No. I won’t allow it!” She stated, shaking her head in denial.

 

The Queen of Naboo stepped in front of Leia, curiosity and concern drawn on her face.

 

A swiveling sound slit the air and the young Queen flinched in surprise. A drop of blood bubbled from her lips as her eyes grew wide. Too startled to move, the party watched her slim body crumble in a puddle of white silk, a thin dagger protruding from her back. The second dagger met Rey’s lit saber right in front of Leia’s throat, the blue light reflecting from the General’s unblinking eyes.

 

Rey gathered the Force around herself. Reaching for a thread of Darkness, she pulled on it gritting her teeth.

 

A body fell from a nearby tower, levitating just inches from the ground, as it back flipped and landed on its feet.

 

Guards stormed the grounds attempting to cut down the assassin, who effortlessly evaded their blasters in a series of flips and twirls, responding with deathly lashes from his own weapon.

 

“Rey! No!” Leia exclaimed as Rey shot for the battle, yelling at Chewbacca to pull the General into cover. Her eyes dropped to the young Queen one last time, the innocence of her years threading tentacles of guilt around Leia’s heart.

 

A roar and a series of whines beckoned for her to follow the wookie inside the palace, as he lightly tugged on her arm. Reluctantly, she agreed even though she itched to pull out that blaster in her dress and fire a few good shots of her own. But Rey was already giving the assassin a hard time.

 

_Where in the force did she pick up these moves?_

 

Especially that twirling double slash was one she distinctly remembered Ben loved to use.

 

Her eyebrows shot up, impressed.

 

_I must remember to ask when she gets back._

 

But she soon lost sight of the battle, as she was dragged in the safety of the palace, and towards the doors that led to the landing area where their shuttle was stationed.

 

***

 

Kylo Ren stomped the corridors of the Finalizer, black robes swirling in the air behind him. The few unfortunate troopers who accidently crossed paths with him were mostly flung to the side with a ripple of the Force. There was an attempt on General Leia’s life. On Naboo of all places. But instead of claiming the General’s life, the Queen of Naboo had been the one to pay the price. And Ra’ya, his youngest most inexperienced knight was now dead.

 

He clenched his fists.

 

Rey was the one to notify him through their bond. Her rage momentarily blinding him as she invaded his mind and informed him of what had transpired. In painstaking detail, may he add.

 

The doors to General Hux’s office parted with a wave of his gloved hand.

 

The copper haired man turned in bewilderment at Ren’s apparent lack of respect.

 

“Who gave authorization for the attempt on General Organa’s life? Why wasn’t I informed of the outcome?” Kylo Ren seethed through his teeth.

 

“Forgive our initiative Supreme Leader but hadn’t the decision already been made?” A voice responded from his side. He snapped his head to look at a light smile gracing thin lips.

 

_Valek?_

 

What in the seven fucking hells of Mustafar was his second in command doing in Hux’s office? The General hadn’t even bothered to rise from his chair in acknowledgment to his superior’s entry. Instead he regarded him coldly behind narrowed eyes.

 

“The attempt was a failure,” Ren shot back. “And one of our knights is now dead. Not to mention the collateral damage in the face of the Queen of all people!”

 

_Haven’t they considered the consequences at all?_

 

“Master, there was a Jedi in their ranks. The girl, Rey, proved to be a lot more of a challenge than we originally thought,” Valek said, in what appeared to be a placating response.

 

_Of course she would be._

 

 She had after all plucked the knowledge on battle skills from his own mind. Their bridging through the bond was proving to be a nuisance at times. But it had kept her alive. Along with… others. And he had in a sense become her teacher even if she still denied it.

 

“Naboo of all places was picked for the attempt. Of course it would fail. They have always been one of General Organa’s biggest supporters.”

 

“Next time won’t be a failure,” Valek clipped, leveling Ren with an indecipherable look.

 

“There won’t be a second attempt,” Ren ordered. He skimmed the knight’s thoughts only to find a black wall blocking him out. The General, however radiated smugness behind his orderly polished desk. “The element of surprise has been lost. We concentrate on Coruscant,” Ren continued.

 

“A Dreadnought will shortly be added to our fleet.  Coruscant will become an example for the rest of the worlds to see.”

 

“I do not wish to see Coruscant in rumbles, General,” Kylo Ren pointed out. “We have already agreed on a plan for the invasion. We will not be repeating the Hosnian holocaust.”

 

“It will be considered a weakness,” Hux snarled his pale complexion turning a bright red. “The rest of the worlds need to understand that in order to survive they must bow to the First Order. We will not tolerate any form of resistance!”

 

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to rail in his rage and not let it overcome his logic.

 

“There will be nothing left to _rule_ if this strategy continues!” he boomed, silencing his General.

 

Hux slid a livid look at the direction of the black armored knight standing silently on Ren’s side. Valek held his eyes for a moment as a silent exchange seemed to pass between the two men.

 

_They are conspiring to overthrow me._

 

The thought crawled up the back of his mind. It shouldn’t come as a surprise.

 

Valek bent slightly in salute to his superiors and darting a defiant look at Ren, departed silently. Hux remained seated regarding Ren, icily.

 

He would have to deal with the General later, he decided. His knight‘s insubordination was what mattered at the moment.

 

Kylo Ren followed his most powerful knight into the corridors, his anger barely contained in his chest.

 

“Valek!”

 

The knight slowed down but did not stop, nor turn at his call.

 

_This will not end well._

 

He unsheathed his crossguard and threw out his left arm freezing the man on the spot.

 

The knight broke off from the hold with a little effort and turned to face him.

 

Burning hate and slithering jealousy crashed in him, as Valek drew his lightsaber as well and lit its double edges, twirling them in front of him once.

 

“Ben Solo. The young Skywalker. The miracle boy,” sarcasm dripped from his lips.

 

Kylo Ren had not realized the extent of his knight’s resent towards him.

 

“Do not do this, Valek. We are one. If the chain breaks we all fall apart,” he warned.

 

“Your weaknesses will be our downfall. You were barely able to kill Han Solo and you cannot follow through with the murder of your, mother, Ben!” Valek hissed. “You are no longer fit to be our Master.”

 

“You sent Ray’a to kill Organa on her own, instead of accompanying her. Those were _not_ the orders I gave. You are the reason why our knight in now dead. Do not lecture me on leadership!”

 

“I will end the Jedi myself,” the knight spat. “And your days as Supreme Leader are counted for.” His hatred felt as palpable as the heat radiating from his saberstaff.

 

Valek’s threatening words echoed in his ears.

 

Heart thudding in his chest, he hurled Valek on the closest wall with the Force wrenching away his weapon. He crossed over to him in a couple of long strides and set his sputtering saber on his throat, the heat cinching the skin under it.

 

_You don’t get to touch her._

 

“You do not touch the Jedi,”  Ren seethed as he took hold of the knight’s armor with his free hand and shoved him against the wall again, head banging against it with a loud thud.

 

Valek’s eyes dawned with understanding. A small smirk made its way on his features.

 

 “Hux is using you for your powers,” Ren growled. The words mirroring the ones he once heard from his roguish father, standing across from him in a brown leather jacket, with steel in his voice and a plead on his lips for his son to come home. “The man despises the Force and anyone who has it. Once he is done, he will get rid of you. Just the way he wants to get rid of me.”

 

_Why can’t he see that?_

 

“I once promised your brother to look after you. I do not intend to break that promise. Don’t make me,” Kylo Ren continued.

 

“My brother is a deserter,” Valek bit back in contempt. “Snoke should have gone after him and punished him for his treason.”

 

A pair of bright clever eyes rimmed with charcoal sprang in mind. The brother he himself never had. And a warning as Nyxx had fled the _Supremacy_ like a shadow years ago, that Snoke would eventually crush them one by one. Perhaps he should have paid more heed to those words.

 

“Your brother is wise,” he answered back, releasing his hold on the knight and stepping away.

 

He turned off his saber and the two men locked eyes for a few long moments. This was far from over.

 

Ren turned around and walked away with heavy steps.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I the only one who considers Ben as a bit of a brat? There is still a lot of growing up he needs to do. Thank you for the kudos! I hope you enjoy this story. It'll be bumpy so bear with me.


	5. Festering wounds

This was the second time in a month that Rey found herself outside that filthy cantina in Coruscant. She could still smell that awful Hutt sitting at the corner gulping down liquor and burping uncontrollably. She really couldn’t understand why she even bothered to come. Just because his Dark Lordship wished a meeting with her didn’t mean she had to comply to his every whim.

 

Rey hesitantly reached out through their bond being extremely careful not to be sensed by him.

 

_I’m getting pretty good at this._

 

Yes, he was definitely inside. It was dusk, the tall buildings overhead casting their shadows on the narrow damp streets of lower Coruscant. She could vaguely see the lights of the middle and upper levels as she glanced towards the violet sky, and hear the faint zooming of the busy shuttle lanes.

 

Curious glances were cast her way, which made the hair on the back of her neck stand in alertness. Rey decided to hide in a side alley, clutching her saber close to her. Taking a deep breath she sent out her presence to Kylo Ren.

 

_I’m here._

 

It didn’t take long for him to appear at the entry of the narrow road. Clad in the same dark worn out robe as last time.  He approached her silently, the ends of his cloak brushing against the wet muddy pavement.

 

A sense of relief emanated from him at seeing her and even a feeling of anticipation as he towered over her.

 

“Not here,” he said. “Somewhere private.”

 

Rey gestured for him to lead the way, once again following the expanse of his shoulders down murky streets with broken windows, lurking figures and beggers.

 

A few turns later they entered a small hostel, which was actually rather clean for this part of Coruscant. Kylo Ren walked up to the Togrutan stationed behind a desk, slided a few credits her direction and took the key dangling from her finger. He swiped a hand in front of her face compelling her in a murmuring voice to forget all about them.

 

Rey’s brow frowned.

 

_He makes it seem so easy._

 

“It is,” he answered back as he strode towards a set of stairs.

 

“I didn’t say anything,” she protested jogging lightly to catch up with him.

 

“Your thoughts are loud,” he responded, not missing a step as he went up the stairs and stopped outside a door, opening it with the key.

 

Kylo Ren stood to the side as she walked in first taking in the small room with a double bed taking up the majority of the space. A desk, chair and a bright set of curtains the only other objects in the tidy room. There was even a lingering smell of freshness in the air.

 

Rey turned, raising an eyebrow at him.

 

“We’re only here to talk,” he scoffed in annoyance. “Is that what you think of me?”

 

“I don’t know what to make of you at times,” she responded.

 

“Are you injured?”

 

_“_ What are you talking about?” She asked, shooting him a confused look.

 

“From the attempt a few days ago. Are you hurt?” He pressed on, concern evident in his eyes.

 

“Nothing serious,” she commented, the slash on her upper thigh still throbbing even after the bacta applied to it.

 

“How about…” he trailed off.

 

“Your mother is fine too.”

 

He nodded once, looking away and chewing on the inside of his cheek. He took in a short breath exhaling it slowly and shifting his weight on one leg.

 

_He’s fidgeting. Kylo Ren is actually fidgeting._

 

“You look nervous,” she stated with slight amusement in her voice.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” He snapped, the boyish look disappearing instantly giving place to his usual intense demeanor. Ren stepped towards her finally deciding to speak.

 

“Hux and one of my knights are looking to overthrow me. And I know that is no concern of yours, but I would appreciate it if you heard me out first.”

 

She opened her mouth in protest but found herself curious as to what he would say.

 

“Go on,” she urged him.

 

“My General and I seem to have a… difference of opinions as to how we should carry on,” he started. “If it were up to Hux, the destruction of Hosnia would only be the first of holocausts to follow.” Ren paused as a grimace creased his features. “The Republic has failed twice to bring justice and order to the galaxy, the Resistance is frail and cannot take over such a task, the worlds are divided, each one trying to survive on its own. War will erupt soon enough amongst them as it has in the past.”

 

_Yeah, Leia was also worried the worlds would turn on each other_.

 

She had to admit. Kylo Ren had picked up some political skills from his mother, whether he liked it or not.

 

“The First Order is the only regime strong enough to bring stability in the galaxy,” he continued. “I can rule with fairness and strength. But I can’t do it on my own. I need an ally.”

 

_What is he asking for?_

 

“Do you want an alliance with the Resistance? Because I can assure you nobody will…”

 

“No,” he clipped. “Not the Resistance.”

 

Ren slowly approached her as if she was a wild animal ready to flea at the first sign of danger. Which wasn’t far from the truth. He crowded her, his eyes roaming over her features and landing on her eyes.  He licked his lips, inhaling softly the air between them. She felt his fingers lightly touch a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes and placing it with great concentration behind her ear. She stood there unable to move, her stomach sinking to her knees and making them weak, as he trailed his fingertips along her cheek, caressing it with the softest of touches. They reached her lips, his eyes shifting down to look at them entranced. Her breath melted with his.

 

“You. I want you,” he whispered his eyes hesitantly lifting to gaze into hers.

 

_I…_

 

“By my side. Everything will fall into place with you by my side.” A light quiver colored his voice.

 

“Ben…”

 

“You don’t need to answer me now. Just… please, consider it,” he rushed to say.

 

She looked around the room. It felt like there was not enough air inside. Some moofmilker had probably forgotten to turn on the ventilators. And it was hot. And cold at the same time. And her stomach was in turmoil.

 

“I… I don’t think I can do this.”

_I can’t do this._

 

“No, Rey. Listen…”His fingers dropped to grasp her arm as she involuntarily stepped away from him. She shook her head and gritted her teeth.

 

“You have no right to ask this of me again!”

 

“Just listen!” He exclaimed hunching slightly to fix a pleading stare at her. A feeling akin to despair shot out from him, filling the gap between them. “The Republic will be brought down eventually. The Resistance will be annihilated. And you will perish along with them. And it will be in vain.”

 

“It is not in vain if I fight next to the people I care about,” she answered vehemently.

 

Rey watched him as he released his hold on her and raked his fingers through his hair, tugging at his locks in frustration. He leveled her with burning eyes.

 

“You foolish girl! There is no hope for you if you stay with the Resistance.”

 

“I am not joining the First Order! I thought I made that clear the last time we spoke. And if you dragged me all the way here just so that you could ask me to join you again then you are wasting your time. And mine.”

 

 “Don’t discard this chance without at least considering it. You won’t have another.” This man was incapable of taking no for an answer. And his dominating presence and staggering emotions were already wearing down her defenses. “We could build so much together,” he added, lowering his voice to a deep rumble.

 

“Then why destroy everything in the first place?” She said barely above a whisper. “No, there is no place for me next to you.”

 

Her heart was now hammering in her chest and her eyes were rimmed with tears and there was definitely not enough air in the room. Rey took a step back from Ren’s solid body. She lifted her eyes to his, hazel on brown and knew deep in her gut that there was no going back after this decision.

 

She turned to the door, opened it and fled the room once again.

 

***

Kylo Ren stalked the streets for a while after the sun had set. Rey had turned him down for a second time. Perhaps third if he counted his offer to teach her the Force on _Starkiller Base._ She couldn’t have been more clear about her feelings for him. Surprisingly he no longer felt that fury and need to retaliate, the way he did when she abandoned him at the _Supremacy_. No, it felt more like a void, throbbing and heavy inside him. He had been hoping to feel the loneliness marring his life with this sunny girl from Jakku. A girl who despite her abandonment and hardships shone like a newborn star. Her radiance warmed him and coerced feelings from him, he never before thought existed.

 

  _What is it about this girl that brings me to my knees every time I see her._

 

He looked up at the familiar night sky streaked by lights and glowing buildings, the modern architectural masterpieces of the galaxy. During his numerous visits as a child, the scenery left him in awe as his eyes took in the luminous capital, hand grasped tightly around his mother’s. He had never bothered searching for anything beyond what he could see for the largest part of his life. Until his teenage years, that is, when his curiosity and rebellious nature brought him digging into the lower levels. That was when he first came to realize the inadequacy and neglect of the New Republic.

 

Turning a corner the stench and filth of a small alley, made him lift the back of his hand to his mouth, frowning and trying to suppress his nausea. He backtracked nearly tripping over a sleeping form and swiftly changed paths.

 

_The place hasn’t changed much since then._

 

Kylo Ren always had a purpose for his actions. A motive that forgave them. But now his determination was waning. He found himself tangled in a war, he never fully agreed to be part of to begin with. Snoke, a constant presence in his mind since childhood, had inspired admiration and utter devotion, promising to raise him to his full potential. He considered him as the parent that stood by him. Listened and advised him. As opposed to his real ones which mostly criticized his missteps and feared his outbursts. Ren had trusted Snoke.  Followed his lead blindly. And he was betrayed. Snoke’s manipulations and lies cut through him deeper than a knife. And he vowed, when his grandfather’s saber sliced through his Master, that he would never bow to anyone again.

 

The blinding rage, though and corrupting hate were slowly subsiding and his eyes had opened to blood staining his hands from countless lives he had taken away. And one of those had been his own father’s.

 

_My f…_

 

He stopped in the middle of the pavement bracing himself from a damp wall as the enormity of the deed crashed into him. He had been able to keep it at bay for months. But some wounds just fester in secret.

 

Han Solo had been so right to fear the Force. It had turned his son into a monster. Only it wasn’t the Force that was to blame. It wasn’t Snoke either. Nor his parents. Not even his zealot of an uncle, attempting to kill him in his sleep. No.

 

_It was me._

 

And the choices he had made.

 

Someone bumped on his back. A species he was not familiar with emptied out a mouthful of swears in a language he did not recognize, before slithering on. Kylo Ren barely noticed it.

 

He slumped down the wall pulling his legs close to him, arms resting on his knees.

 

The lower levels never slept. It was now past midnight and the streets were crawling with all sorts of lifeforms. None of them paid the hooded man on the side walk any attention as they went about their business. A couple of spice users approached  him, asking for a credit or two and  a brawl erupted nearby, ending with one of the fighter’s arm being ripped off. Kylo Ren remained hunched, a dark still figure melted to a wall that everyone passed without a second thought.

 

***

Nyxx looked up from his holopad at the dark figure entering his cantina, just as he thought he could finally lock up and go crash in his mattress.

 

_This can’t be good._

 

The man sat on one of the high chairs at the bar removing his hood and unmasking himself in the Force.

 

“Ben?”

 

He looked like fucking hell. The guy was pale to begin with, but he looked as if Death had just entered the building. Nyxx shook his head, pulled a couple of tumblers, his favorite Corellian whiskey and dragged a chair next to his.

 

“You’d better have a good reason to come crashin’ my joint an hour before dawn, man. ‘Cause otherwise I’m going to bed and you’re sweepin’ the floor and lockin’ things up.”

 

His brooding face hinted to a small smile. But other than that did not utter a word. He brought his drink to his lips emptying the glass in a few gulps and pushing it towards him for more.

 

_I hope he hasn’t hurt Leia, ‘cause he’s a dead man._

 

Nyxx reached for the bottle with a sigh and filled the next one to the brim.

 

“Listen, I have a droid programmed for refills so unless you have somethin’ to say, _quit wasting my time_!” He drawled at his friend.

 

“I’ve messed up Nyxx…”

 

_Finally._

 

“Well, that’s an understatement...” he commented gulping his drink down as well and reaching for the bottle again. No way he was having this conversation sober.

 

Ren threaded his fingers through his hair in frustration and pressed his lips.

 

“I’m not here to talk about what I’ve done. We both know my actions these past seven years. I’m not here for apologies either. Apologies don’t fix what’s been broken.”

 

“You’re sounding awfully poetic at five in the morning. And I’m tired. If you’re not here to dig up the past and you don’t feel like grovelin’ for apologies here and there, than what do you want, Ben?”

 

“I don’t want to destroy everything I touch anymore…” he admitted in a low voice. His hands were circling the glass, his gaze lost in the swiveling liquid inside.

 

“Isn’t that what the Dark side is all about, though? Isn’t destruction part of its nature, in the grand scheme of things?” Nyxx, couldn’t help but ask. He knew first hand how hard it had been for Ben to harness the power in him and wield it into a weapon instead of a hurricane destroying everything within its reach. Using the Light side had always been frustrating for his impatient and emotionally overflowing friend. The Dark side helped him channel those emotions a lot easier.

 

“I’m not going back to my mother. I want nothing to do with her.”

 

“Did I even say something like that?” his train of thought always gave him a whiplash. “Look, I can’t help you if you’re having an identity crisis in the middle of a galactic war. Whatever it is you want, you’d better figure it out fast ‘cause this galaxy is about to blow up and you should at least pick a side before everythin’ crumples.”

 

“How did you do it?”

 

“Do what?”

 

“Figure out that Snoke was manipulating us. That being a Sith was not the answer to our questions. Just the way being a Jedi wasn’t either.”

 

_Easy, I no longer wanted to bend the Force to my desires._

 

Besides, Snoke was shady and hid his agenda well. His biggest regret was not being able to make the rest of his friends see that and especially his younger brother, Valek, who was too ambitious for his own good.

 

“Now _that,_ my friend, is a discussion for another time. My question is, what made you have a change of heart.”

 

Kylo Ren snorted in amusement.

 

“That’s an interesting way to put it…” he mumbled as he sipped from his drink “It doesn’t really matter now anyway, she wants nothing to do with me. “

 

“She? Figures…” Nyxx rubbed his eyes, smearing the charcoal around them. A headache was settling in. He rubbed his temples in circles. “Look, I don’t know what your plans are with the First Order. My instincts tell me they’re not good. But your mother is part of the Resistance. I don’t know where your girl is from…”

 

“She’s with the Resistance too.”

 

“Huh… Well…” Nyxx lifted his head in astonishment. Only Ben could pull that one off. “How the hell did you do that? Never mind.” He gestured vaguely in the air. “If I could give you one piece of advice, it would be stick with the people who care about you. And from what I remember, the First Order is not very affectionate.”

 

“My General is trying to overthrow me and your brother is supporting him.” Ren deadpanned. “Amidst preparations for the invasion.”

 

_What invasion?_

 

 Kylo Ren turned to look at him his eyes darkening as sorrow weighed them down. “Nyxx, I can’t guarantee… Not the way he’s been acting.”

 

Nyxx sighed. For the first time in a long while, letting his regrets overcome him.

 

“He’s a grown man. His choices have been made. And everyone wants to survive. Seems like that is what you should start with as well.”

 

Ren hummed, thoughts drowning in the amber liquid.

 

They sat for a while in heavy silence drinking and refilling their glasses, until light started seeping through the smudged windows. Kylo Ren got up resting a hand on his friend’s shoulder as Nyxx turned to regard him, his green eyes rimmed in red.

 

“I know what I have to do.”

 

Nyxx nodded in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some self-criticism for our boy. But he still has a long way to go. Tell me what you think!


	6. Faults

“I don’t know how reliable this information is,” Leia commented cooly, sitting on an armchair of her room in an old apartment that she and Han owned in Orowood Tower, Coruscant. Her body looking anything but relaxed on the plush furniture. “The First Order actually having to prepare for an invasion means two things. It will either take place on a very important system or over a vast area of the galaxy…”

 

“Right.” Rose pitched in before continuing with enthusiasm. “But combined with what we know about them recruiting Clance Depot as a slicer, that might be narrowing things down to technologically advanced systems,” she gestured animatedly from her position next to Leia.

 

“That’s still a lot of systems to go through,” Finn grumbled from the other side of the room and resumed pacing.

 

_They are itching to get back into action._

 

Leia couldn’t help but think as she watched the pair in amusement. Their energy felt brighter than the morning sun showering the room in yellow hues.

 

“If I may princ- er… General, it is precisely 157 star systems in the known regions that have a space age or at least information age technology according to the Empire’s data.” C-3PO chimed in. “The odds of finding which system is…”

 

“Thank you 3PO, that won’t be necessary,” Leia cut in quickly, interrupting the droid’s calculations.

 

Silence hung in the air as everyone considered the task at hand.

 

“We need more information.” Finn finally stated.

 

Leia looked at the unconventional man across from her. He had his tattooed arms covered and his long messy hair drawn back and away from his face, in his attempt to go by unnoticed. Something that would be quite difficult, if he wasn’t Force sensitive and able to hide himself from curious eyes.

 

 _If he hadn’t been trained by Luke_.

 

Leia, sighed, clasping her hands in front of her. They had to figure out which system was the target. It was crucial to fend off the First Order and her son from the very beginning of the invasion. If key systems were to fall, then a domino effect would take over the rest of the galaxy. None of the worlds stood a chance against the First Order without a proper warning. And if it were possible to persuade some of the allies to join…

 

_Then maybe…_

 

She got off the chair slowly making her way to the large window overlooking the misty Manarai mountains and Coruscant’s buildings reflecting the morning sun. Leia had always loved this city’s diversity and history. To her far right, the silhouette of the Old Jedi Temple could vaguely be seen. Ben used to love visiting that temple. There was a serenity emanating from its ancient stones that somehow quieted her son’s unrest. She could still vividly recall his face beaming up to her with one of his rare smiles, the ones that stretched from ear to ear, as they strolled the empty chambers hands clasped tightly together.

 

Her eyes welled up without warning.

 

 _Gods, I’m so tired_.

 

She swallowed, willing the tears to dissipate. Her back was aching, where it had been fractured by the explosion on the Raddus’s bridge. It was difficult to stand without her cane for a long time.

 

“That will be all, Nyxx,” she dismissed Luke’s old-time padawan and added. “If you come across anything else no matter how unimportant it may seem, find a way to notify me.”

 

“Sure thing…”

 

The man turned and walked towards the door, when Rey burst in looking worse for wear. She did a double take at the sight of Nyxx who saluted her with a toss of two fingers as he exited. Rey stood in the middle of the room eyebrows raised to her hairline.

 

“I’ve seen this man before… He runs a cantina in the lower levels of Coruscant. How did he get here?”

 

All heads turned to look at her in bewilderment.

 

“And how exactly would you know that Rey?” Finn demanded, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes in scrutiny.

 

Leia observed Rey for a couple of moments before ordering Finn and Rose to leave the room. Finn cast the young girl a brooding glare on his way out, while Rose followed him smiling at her in sympathy.

 

“Where have you been?” Leia asked in a stern voice. “You’ve been missing since yesterday evening.”

 

“I can take care of myself.”

 

“I don’t doubt that, child. That is not the point.” Leia’s voice continued tinted with aggravation. “If you were to get into trouble down there it would attract unwanted attention.”

 

_She doesn’t realize what a Jedi can do._

 

Rey’s eyes circled the room as if searching for an exit.

 

She looked exhausted. Her clothes were in disarray, her hair disheveled and muddy boots had left visible footprints on the soft rug. The cleaning droid would short-circuit at the sight.

 

“Have a seat,” Leia pointed to a chair, her tone of voice not taking no for an answer.

 

Rey folded herself on the chair, clearly still shaken by what had transpired.

 

“Is there something I should know?”

 

Rey swallowed, her eyes transfixed on the beautiful view of the capital outside the window.

 

“I would never do something to jeopardize the Resistance or betray you,” she stated her face distraught. “I want you to understand that.”

 

Leia regarded her.

 

_She isn’t lying._

 

“Where did you go?”

 

“I was at the lower levels.”

 

“Rey, the lower levels are no place for you to roam around in curiosity.”

 

“I wasn’t roaming around, I had to meet somebody,” the girl answered voice barely above a whisper, eyes still avoiding to meet Leia’s.

 

“Who?”

 

Rey shook her head getting off the chair, and standing in front of the General with fists clenched. She was attempting to restrain her turbulent emotions.

 

“Please don’t ask for more. I can’t tell you yet.”

 

“This isn’t a game.”

 

“I know…”

 

Leia’s eyes did not shift from the girl across from her. She thrummed her fingers a couple of times on the desk next to her. Her hunch spoke of a man clad in black wielding a crimson cross guard. A man she had once called her son. And still did. But Leia decided not to push the matter any further, but to keep a closer eye on Rey, instead.

 

“Very well,” she said, signaling the end of the discussion.

 

Rey looked at her in relief.

 

“I will be meeting with the governor of Coruscant in a couple of hours. I need to get ready. We’ll be leaving shortly after, just so you know.”

 

***

 

Muddy boots left prints on the slick black floor of the Finalizer’s hanger bay, as Kylo Ren descended the shuttle’s ramp. He had removed his equally dirty cloak the minute he had entered the ship and felt exposed as he walked through the hanger in the midst of marching Stormtroopers and bustling technicians.

 

Captain Phasma was waiting for him at the entrance of the bay, a fresh cloak hanging on her armored arm.

 

“Sir,” she acknowledged as he walked up to her and she lifted her arm to offer it.

 

Ren took his cloak with a nod, setting the heavy fabric over his shoulders and lifting the hood over his head. A sense of relief washed over him at the feeling of being partly concealed.

 

 She flanked him as they entered the ship’s corridor heading for the bridge. She easily matched his stride and was probably the only person that could, to his knowledge. A pair of Stormtroopers heading their direction split up with a salute allowing them to pass through and personnel glued themselves to the walls as the pair stormed the ship.

 

Usually, he barely exchanged greetings with the Captain, knowing that her allegiance lay mostly with Hux as part of the military fraction of the First Order. All he knew about her was that she was a survivor, under the most extreme of conditions. From her home planet to Starkiller base, to the Supremacy. A scar marred the left side of her face, a recent addition from her flee of the collapsing capital ship.

 

“How was your trip, sir?” Her modulated voice asked behind her metal mask.

 

_Heartbreaking._

 

“Uneventful,” he commented, stepping into the elevator. “How are repairs coming along on the Supremacy?”

 

“It will take at least a year for it to be restored to its previous condition. But its two pieces are highly self-sufficient and the First Order populace remains on board,” she efficiently reported.

 

“Good. Transfer the noncombatant personnel and any populace that is not required from the Star Destroyers to the Supremacy before our departure for Coruscant.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“How about the new Dreadnought?”

 

“Just arrived from Kuat. The fleet is nearly ready for the attack.” She felt proud and he didn’t need the Force to read that.

 

“So it seems,” he drawled.

 

 Time to dip a finger in the pond and swirl things around.

 

“Remove your helmet, Captain.”

 

“Sir?” Her masked face snapped to look at him, her usual collected voice sounding rattled.

 

“Need I repeat my order?” He slowly turned his eyes to stare at her visor.

 

Her armored hands slowly lifted to unclasp her helmet and remove it with a hiss of decompression, revealing her cropped blond hair and cold blue eyes. The burn mark surrounding her left eye was still healing. Ren had to look up to capture her gaze, her impressive height causing her to loom over him.

 

“Where does your allegiance lie, Captain?” He asked impassively.

 

Her eyes did not flinch from his.

 

“With the First Order, of course,” she automatically replied.

 

“Who leads the First Order?”

 

Her eyes sparkled with understanding.

 

_Clever woman._

 

“You sir, as Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.”

 

He let the words sink into the pause between them.

 

“Therefore,” he emphasized. “You will henceforth report first to me and then according to the chain of command. Understood?”

 

“Perfectly, sir,” she crisply replied.

 

“Good. Coruscant is a very important system,” he continued, tugging on the rim of his left leather glove and stretching his fingers. “And one of the only ones able to mount a proper defense against us. Probably on a larger scale than we initially estimated.  The element of surprise is key to our success. Are your troops ready for battle, Captain?”

 

“Always.”

 

“Good. My knights and I will be leading the ground troops. You will be stationed onboard the Dreadnought.”

 

Phasma’s head tilted in surprise. Her hard emotionless eyes widening a fraction.

 

“Isn’t General Hux to be stationed there?”

 

“If it were up to the General he would blow up Coruscant without a second thought. I need someone on that bridge that will follow my orders without a question.”

 

“This will be the first time I… “

 

“I am certain you are more than qualified to run the ship,” he clipped as the elevator doors hissed open.

 

He strode into the dimly lit bridge, cloak brushing lightly the immaculate floor as a few officers stole a quick glance in his direction and swiftly resumed their work. He could sense their anxiety spike at his dark presence and the silence that followed was restless. Clasping his hands behind his back he stepped up to the window overlooking the large manufacturing yard of Kuat.

 

Kylo Ren was on his own. After Rey’s last and final rejection he no longer harbored childish dreams for a partner in the Force. Or in life, the most treacherous part of his heart admitted. And in the aftermath of Snoke’s death, he would need to harness this grinding war machine that was the First Order and dismantle it. The plan had not solidified in his mind yet. But the decision had been made.

 

The doors to the bridge hissed again signaling another entry. The short spiteful steps of General Hux were heard approaching him. Ren’s lips lifted in a hint of a smile. A few changes were to take place on the leadership of a few Star Destroyers. Hux and several others would not be happy.

 

***

 

Rey entered the already crowded lunch room, her stomach growling in recognition. She hadn’t eaten much all day, having spent the majority of it in the maintenance room. BB-8 seemed extremely satisfied with his new lens, and had referenced her to a half dozen droids of all shapes and specifications, each one with a particular list of malfunctions wishing to be taken care off. By the end of her double shift, she felt comfortable enough with binary to attempt speaking it herself.

 

There was no line by the kitchen obviously, as she was probably the last one there. She glanced at the remaining scraps of food, picking a protein bar and some form of root dipped in a sauce she hadn’t tried till now. Piling them up on her plate, she made her way between the rows of tables to the empty seat next to Poe. He was in the middle of a discussion with Finn as she slipped next to him, kissing him lightly on his temple. He beamed a perfect smile at her, clasping her hand tightly in his, as he continued his conversation. His grip alleviated a bit the weight she had been harboring since Coruscant. She smiled lightly at Rose and Finn, before situating herself silently on her seat. Rose returned her smile with a genuine one of her own, along with a set of crinkling eyes. Rey quickly looked down at her plate, forking around the root.

 

The lunchroom was loud as usual. Her ears not accustomed to the chattering and bustling of small spaces packed with people. Finn darted a look her way, assessing her condition and not liking what he was seeing. He did not exactly have a way with people, but he was the only one that seemed to decipher her state of emotions. Maybe because he had met her before everything began. Before her escape from Jakku, before her run-in with Han Solo. Before _him_.

 

Poe draped an arm around her, bringing her body comfortably close to his. It felt so calming. His comfort made her feel safe. He kissed the crown of her head and went on talking with a pilot next to him.

 

Rey decided she didn’t want to eat the root. The sauce had a strange color and so she snacked on half of her protein bar.

 

The crowd started thinning around them, as people finished their dinner and shuffled towards the lounge area, or retreated to their quarters for the evening. Poe got up looking at her expectantly.

 

“Do you want to head to our room?” he smirked.

 

Rey shook her head.

 

“Not yet. But I won’t be long,” she assured him.

 

He bent to kiss her, patted the pilot on the shoulder, and gestured his head to another in goodbye.

 

“Rey…” Finn started to speak, his face full of concern.

 

“Not tonight. I’m sorry,” she replied curtly, wiping her hands with a cloth and getting up as well.

 

She exited the room, feeling his eyes trained on her back.

 

Rey wished she could talk to her friend about what was happening to her. About Ren and the bond, but she was certain he would only get aggravated and disappointed at the fact that there was nothing he could do to help her. She rubbed at her chest and the anger simmering underneath. Even though the emotion did not belong to her, it still affected her very much. It was very difficult at times to differentiate between his feelings and hers, the bond blending them together as if they were one.

 

 _It’s all his fault_.

 

In fact, she could blame a lot of things on that mess of a man.

 

She grumbled and roamed the corridors aimlessly for a little while longer, waiting for Ren’s feelings to quiet. It was late and Poe would be worried by now. But she couldn’t go back to their room with Ren’s bitterness gnawing at her patience. So she strode here and there, until the lights dimmed to night cycle and the corridors were void of people. She must have lulled him to sleep or something, by the time she reached her room and set her palm on the door panel, the bond having settled to a thrum at last.

 

Yeah, it was all his fault.

 

***

 

“So if I understand correctly, the First Order mined the planet down to its last metal and decided it was too costly to relocate the non-Order workers to another planet, even though there were barely any resources left for its inhabitants,” Kylo Ren asked, a holopad in hand waiting for his signature.

 

The officer standing across from him shifted his weight.

 

‘And you wish me to sign my agreement,” he continued.

 

“Sir, it’s just standard protocol. General Hux has signed numerous of reports such as these on Supreme Leader’s behalf,” the man spoke with a thin voice.

 

“Snoke was aware of these reports, you mean to say.”

 

“Yes, sir,” he quickly responded.

 

Kylo Ren hummed, setting the holopad untouched on the metal desk before him. The office that was assigned to him was spacious but simple. Its confinement still grated on his nerves, though. It was late in the evening, the lights on the ship already dimming to accommodate the hour of the night cycle. A lamp casting its cold white glow next to him illuminated the room. Ren raised his eyes from the holopad to study the empty space outside his viewport. His thoughts shifted to her, like they did many times in the day. Every day. He wondered if her days dragged on as lonely as his.

 

He nearly snorted.

 

_Why would they?_

 

He picked up the next holopad, scanning over its content. A massive deposit of unknown source was recently made in Coruscant’s Central Bank in the name of the First Order, congratulating a recent transaction.

 

“Who is this and what transaction is it referring to?” he asked again in a deep voice, eyeing the man who seemed to be breaking into a sweat.

 

“I b…believe it is referring to our new Dreadnaught. But I am not exactly certain.”

 

“Are you or are you not certain?”

 

“I believe I am…”

 

“You believe?”

 

“I am certain.”

 

“So we bought a Dreadnought and someone is paying us in order to congratulate us?”

 

The officer did not respond.

 

Ren set it down and gestured to the pile on his desk.

 

“These will remain here, until further notice. You are dismissed.”

 

The man saluted stiffly scrambling to exit the room.

 

Ren remained seated staring out his viewport again, his right fist rubbing absently at his lips. These… reports that everyone seemed to be so familiar with were only now coming to his attention. Had he been that obsessed and engrossed in his search for Luke Skywalker that all other matters had been cast aside? Or did Snoke simply did not want him to be tangled in anything concerning the leadership and decision making of the First Order?

 

Some time went by, before he twisted his seat around and got up grabbing his cloak from a nearby sofa. The doors hissed open and he stepped foot on the empty dark corridor, settling his cloak on his shoulders and covering his head with the hood in automated movements.

 

He headed towards the nearest elevator, startling a pair of Stormtroopers on his way, who hadn’t seen him turn a corner. They quickly parted saluting their respect.

 

_And fear._

 

So much fear followed his wake.

 

The ride on the elevator was the longest one he had ever experienced.  Or maybe the second longest. The one he had shared with Rey seemed to bring the feeling of time to a complete halt. When she had stepped close to him in the narrow space of the lift, eyes shining with hope, his heart had stuttered to a stop as well.

 

He lifted his head with a grunt to stare at the ceiling overhead.

 

_Maker, I need to stop thinking about her so much._

 

The elevator slowed down, signaling his arrival to a section of the ship he had never visited before. The doors parted revealing the Central Archives. An old man was stationed behind a desk, spectacles resting on his long nose, as he lifted his eyes to regard Ren under his bushy eyebrows.

 

He stalked up to the old man, boots stomping on the durasteel floor and cloak flaring around them.

 

“I wish to see all reports concerning the financing of the Order in the last ten years,” Ren ordered, his voice resonating off the walls in the empty hall.

 

The old man smirked, eyes glinting behind his glasses, unfazed by Ren’s sudden entrance.

 

“At last,” he said. He lifted himself off his chair, his frail frame shuffling towards a thick durasteel door. He punched the access code to its panel and entered an enormous chamber with millions of twinkling lights signaling rows upon rows of data discs.

 

Ren followed with trepidation, his willpower dropping at the sight before him.

 

“This is the section you are interested in,” the old man pointed to a row on Ren’s right. “I could stay and assist you in your search, my lord,” the old man added.

 

“Shouldn’t you be resting at this hour, old man?” Ren asked, eyes searching the row of data he was about to go through.

 

“On the contrary, young Skywalker,” he replied. “I have been waiting for this moment for a long time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos, bookmarks, and reviews! I like to explore their bond a lot and how it affects them both as time progresses. I thought it'd be interesting to see how Rey' Light seeps into Kylo tempering down his intensity and his Darkness bleeds into Rey shadowing her mood. Tell me what you all think!


	7. Cracks on thin ice

Kylo Ren studied the woman draped in a long blue dress on his holopad. Her speech was dated at least twenty years ago, but he remembered the dress and their visit to Hosnia as if it were yesterday. He had spent the morning with his father wandering around the capital on Chewbacca’s shoulders. She was supposed to join them in the afternoon for a walk at a theme park and dinner.

 

The data disc he was looking at was given to him along with many others by the old man at the Archives. Neither of them were talkers so Ren’s short questions were mostly addressed with equally short answers. He had provided Ren with generous information concerning under the table deals and credit laundry that had gotten the First Order in its current position. All of them initiated by High Officials, General Hux being one of the shiniest examples, and supported by Snoke’s unreserved blessings. A part of him, he did not wish to acknowledge, was disappointed to realize that the First Order’s motto of order and conformity was nothing more than a means for exploitation.

 

The Archives’ keeper had also provided him with footage of Senate meetings adjourning during the New Republic. That gesture on itself verified Ren’s suspicions of the keeper’s ulterior motives. He had cross checked his identity with the ship’s logs only to discover that the old man was indeed old enough to have served under Darth Vader himself. He had been stationed aboard the Death Star when Alderaan, Leia Organa’s home planet, was reduced to nothing more than stardust.

 

Ren raked his fingers through his already messed up hair and scratched the back of his head. Why the keeper was so invested in Ren catching up with history, was beyond him.

 

Initially he had just cast the data discs concerning his mother aside, but after a week of going through old reports on the First Order he reached for the first one on the stack and set it in his holopad, He tried not to think about his action too much as a much younger version of his mother came on screen.

 

It appeared to be a Senate meeting, debating the funds that were to be given on worlds that had been exploited by the Empire or destroyed in the recent wars. His mother was fervently supporting a much larger sum than was initially granted and trying to include worlds that were not considered valuable enough to be taken into consideration. Interestingly enough, Jakku had been one of them.

 

_Of course Rey would haunt me even in my studying._

 

Kylo Ren rubbed his eyes, ran his hand down his unshaven face and stretched his legs, trying to situate himself more comfortably on his sofa.

 

It seemed like the New Republic could not afford further funding and promised Senator Leia Organa that if she could raise credits for her cause, then it would be open for discussion.

 

That evening, his mother never came to dinner with them and extended their stay for an extra week. He remembered her hand on his hair later in the night and a kiss on his cheek, along with a whispered apology about being late. He never opened his eyes and pretended to be asleep, as she padded out of the room, her dress shuffling lightly around her steps. Ben was nine at the time and he never forgave her.

 

Still couldn’t.

 

Ren shut the holopad and tossed it on the table next to him, crossing his arms in front of his chest and staring out the viewport. He wondered if she was ever able to raise the credits.

 

“Are you coming to bed?” Neesha’s voice came from his bedroom’s entrance. Ren glanced at her as she yawned and stretched her body. She was wearing one of his black tunics again.

 

“In a bit,” he frowned and turned to look out the viewport once again.

 

He wondered if any of the funds ever reached Jakku.

 

 ***

 

Sweat dripped from her temples and her shirt was damp from practicing forms in a storage room lost somewhere in the _Titan_. Rey found her thoughts straying towards the man she had abandoned, twice. Maybe three times, if she took into consideration Starkiller base.

 

She brought her sword up in that backslash way she had plucked from his mind and twirled quickly around herself bringing it down.

 

Her focus was waning. She would at times find herself roaming the corridors of the ship unable to remember where she was headed. It frustrated Finn to no end, who quick witted as he was couldn’t handle her absent mindedness. He claimed her behavior had changed since Crait. That she had become more reserved.

 

Rey tried the backward flip she had seen the assassin perform, but ended up flat on her back, the wind knocked out from her lungs. Luckily she was able to switch off her sword before severing an arm. She lay there trying to catch her breath. The image of him running his finger down her cheek, sprang into mind again, brown eyes turning liquid as they shifted to her lips.

 

She swore under her breath, pulling herself up and resting her hands on her knees, chest still aching from the fall. Definitely from the fall.

 

_I should try meditating again._

 

Yeah, that would go smoothly…

 

Her stomach grumbled in protest, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since, well, this morning. She had actually skipped a meal again.

 

Rey picked up her towel, dabbing the sweat from her neck and closing her eyes in an attempt to chase away her haunting thoughts.

 

A shift in her awareness stilled her.

 

A thought planted itself on the surface of her mind.

 

_Coruscant._

 

_The attack will take place in Coruscant._

 

Rey should have let things be. Let the owner of those thoughts shrink back to his cave, but she was tired and hungry and he was _not_ getting away with this.

 

Kylo Ren appeared before her, close enough to touch. Not a single muscle moved as he stood with an unfathomable look in his eyes. Dressed in what she assumed were his nightclothes. No boots. No stifling collar. No armor. Only a soft charcoal tunic revealing a glimpse of smooth chest and a pair of loose fitting pants.

 

 “Is this a trap?” she asked. Attention snapping to the matter at hand.

 

“No,” he stiffly replied looking at some spot over her head.

 

 That habit of his was infuriating.

 

“How can I believe you?”

 

“I have never lied to you, Rey,” he slid his focus to her, his intensity as scalding as always.

 

“But this isn’t just about me anymore.”

 

He glanced to the side a small smirk gracing his lips, which did not reach his eyes.

 

“This is the information I am handing you and your precious Resistance. Take it or leave it.” He turned to look at her again. “My advice is to take it, notify General Organa the invasion will be taking place a standard week from now. She will know what to do with the warning,” he added.

 

Something was different about him. His presence always emanated a tangle of emotions that threatened to consume her if she came too close, but this time there was a hardness surrounding him, almost like an armor.

 

“She will ask me the same question.” Rey could practically hear Leia’s stern interrogation.  “You are the Leader of the First Order and yet you betray its strategies. You wish to wipe out the Resistance, but you save their General from an assassination. You can’t be on both sides of the war,” she objected with a shake of her head.

 

“I am still their Leader. That hasn’t changed,” his eyes hardened. ‘But the First Order will change. I can use it to unify the galaxy under my rule. Make the changes the New Republic was unable to do.”

 

“One man cannot rule a galaxy!”

 

“A hundred men cannot do it either if they spend their day arguing with each other!” He countered raising his voice to match hers.

 

Rey turned her back at him pacing a few steps away. This conversation was way out of her league. She knew nothing of politics and there was no point in trying to change his convictions. She had been naïve enough to try once and failed.

 

“And does one man know what is best for every planet?” She stood a few feet away from him regarding him coldly.

 

“He can have advisors and representatives.”

 

“Why not a Senate then?”

 

“The Republic has failed. Twice.” He brought two fingers up to mark his words. “It harbored too much flexibility and indecisiveness to make a real difference in the galaxy. A stricter regime in needed to ensure peace and order. One that can …”

 

 “And what will happen if one of the planets does not go along with your wishes?” Rey interrupted him, setting her hands on her hips as he worked his jaw in annoyance. “Will you march there and make it obey or blow it out of the sky? Like the Emperor did with Alderaan and Snoke did with the Hosnian System? Too much blood has been shed. ”

 

Rey paused for a moment, her fury drowning her voice. “That is not peace and order.”

 

“You come from Jakku.” He evaded, lifting his chin in that contemptuous way of his. “A planet forgotten by everybody. Didn’t you ever wish for food and water and shelter and security? The Republic never provided for any of it.” She noticed him taking slow measurable steps towards her with every word. “Did you know the Senate discussed funds that never reached your planet?” He concluded, standing a mere foot from her, eyes burning with a feeling that made her shiver.

 

Yes, she was very much aware of the meager help that had reached Jakku, years ago as portions and medical supplies. A school had even been set up and she had tried to attend it long enough for her to read basic. But it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough for Jakku.

 

“They reached it all right. Unkar Plutt, the local crime lord took hold of them,” she bitterly informed him. “Don’t you see? An unimportant planet stays that way, whether it’s an Empire or a Republic that rules.” Sand was the only thing that planet had to offer and neither the Republic nor the First Order would ever be willing to buy it.

 

She stepped closer to him lifting her head to study him. Ren tensed under her gaze, eyes darting at her with apprehension.

 

 “I have lived under one man’s rule. He had ruthless enforcers working for him and scavengers along with many others were prey to his every whim. You might turn out to be a fair and compassionate ruler, but that doesn’t mean your successor will. An entire system was obliterated because one man wished it. This is what the First Order has been created to do. You can’t change it.”

 

He stared at her painfully long, as if her words had struck a nail on the surface of thin ice, its cracks webbing all around him. She immediately regretted uttering them.

 

“And you need to stop wanting to change me,” he answered a few heart beats later in a low voice.

 

“I am not…”

 

“Yes you are.  Ben Solo the man you so desperately want me to be no longer exists.”

 

“Neither does the monster you claim to be.”

 

He paused again. And she held on to her breath. But the answer she was hoping for never came.

 

“Inform Leia Organa.”

 

No. She was not giving him the easy way out. Time for him to take responsibility for his actions.

 

“You need to speak to her yourself. She won’t believe me otherwise. No one will.”

 

“Absolutely out of the question!” 

 

Rey grabbed his forearm in an attempt to make him see reason, but he flinched away as if burnt by her touch. His withdrawal stung in a way that was hard to explain.

 

“If you are doing this,” she carried on, “if you are helping Coruscant defend itself, you have to take it all the way. Speak with General Organa. In private if need be.”

 

She took a step towards him, being careful not to touch him again and unnerve him further.

 

“Please…”

 

Her eyes found his for a long moment. None of them willing to look away. A need warped itself around her chest squeezing her breath away. It called for her to lay her hand on his heart and feel it thud beneath her fingertips. She watched him swallow, a hint of color creeping on his pale cheeks.

 

“There you are!”

 

Rey startled, as if being caught with her hand in a foreign ion engine. She turned to see a relieved Poe approaching her in his graceful stride.

 

“I thought you stole a shuttle and disappeared again while in hyperspace,” he commented lightheartedly. “You’re the only one besides me who could do it, anyway,” he added, hugging her from behind and planting a kiss on her neck. “What have you been up to?”

 

“I… nothing” she stammered, looking towards Kylo Ren wishing desperately for some reason that he wouldn’t witness this through the bond. But his darkening eyes said otherwise.

 

“Poe…” she started, dragging her gaze away from Ren and smiling uncomfortably at the man next to her. “I was just finishing going through some forms and realized I was hungry. I was about to…”

 

“…Come and find me. Yeah, yeah... Now come on. You’ll sweat yourself to starvation.” Poe said taking her hands in his and back stepping towards the exit.

 

“No wait!” she uttered. Rey turned to where Kylo Ren stood, taking in his clenched fists and wrecked eyes, right before he disappeared.

 

_Wait._

 

***

 

He was done. He was so done with that scavenger girl and her misleading behavior. Wrapping him up around her little finger and puppeteering his emotions to her liking every chance she had. And all this time she and that pilot…

 

_Damn her._

 

He bit the inside of his cheek and flung a droid out of his way and over the platform he was now crossing. His dark mood was gathering around him like a storm since their little chat last evening and that was an ominous sign itself, as he furiously made his way to the Conference room, where his bristling Commanders awaited him. It was only a matter of days till the invasion began and part of him wanted to call everything off. He was fed up with Rey, the Resistance and the First Order. This galaxy was a total mess about to implode and he wanted nothing more than to simply drop everything and disappear.

 

_Fucking hells._

 

He cursed and stomped in the elevator that would take him to the bridge and the young officer already occupying the lift shrunk to a corner, hugging her holopad tightly on her chest. At least half of the lights sputtered and broke at his entrance, and he ignored her squeak of fear as he barked for her to get out. She quickly complied and the elevator thankfully began its ascend.

 

The Conference was already in commotion when he crossed the hissing doors, a red faced Hux and the Commander of the _Absolution_ already arguing over battle strategies. The voices slowly died out at Ren’s thunderous presence and all heads turned to regard him with emotions ranging between distaste to flat out terror.

 

“We will be entering hyperspace and heading for Coruscant it three days time from now,” he growled upon entry.

 

General Hux strode towards him from around the oval table.

 

“Supreme Leader if I may, the changes you have commanded are not to the Order’s best choice,” he began in his disdainful voice. But Ren was having none of that. Not today.

 

“No you may not. And the changes I have made remain as are.”

 

Hux scowled and took a step towards him, clasping his hands behind his back and stretching his body to his full height.

 

 “A lot of the Commanders you have assigned are inexperienced in battle and have never led ships of this magnitude before. If we are unable to coordinate our offense properly than this whole strike might be pointless.”

 

“I also need to trust my Commanders to carry on my orders while I am planet bound and not fire hell upon Coruscant as most of you wish to do,” Ren snarled behind clenched teeth. His emotions were spiraling out of control again.

 

“The Dreadnought…”

 

“The Dreadnought will remain in Captain Phasma’s hands for the time being and you will remain on the _Finalizer_. The warship’s orbital guns will only be used to eliminate certain areas of Coruscant’s defenses.”

 

“Sir,” the Commander of the _Vigilance_ intervened. “A good number of us do not understand why you wish to be so lenient with the capital city when it has so adamantly mocked the Order and what it stands for.”

 

“And what does it stand for, Commander?”

 

“Order and conformity.”

 

“To whose benefit?”

 

“The galaxy’s of course, sir. With strict control all systems and especially the less fortunate ones will be able to progress and…”

 

“And fill your pockets with their hard labor as you spend it in Canto Bight?”

 

The man paled, and opened his mouth for a response. But Ren silenced him with a gesture.

 

“Oh, I know Commander… I am very much aware of a lot of First Order transactions.”

 

“Leave us,” Hux ordered as he looked around at the grim faces of High Officers. The men and women sitting on edge around the polished oval table quickly got up and one by one filed out of the room.

 

An uncomfortable silence fell inside the empty room as the two men appraised each other.

 

“Ren, what are you doing?”

 

Kylo Ren chuckled darkly. One more regime hungry for power and profit. It shouldn’t come as a surprise. His sunshine of a girl was so right with her clear logic and simple wisdom.

 

“You wouldn’t like it if I told you,” he quipped.

 

Hux narrowed his eyes to slits.

 

“I suggest that you and you rabid knights continue with whatever work preoccupied your time under Snoke’s rule and leave the governing for those who know a thing or two about it.”

 

“Meaning you.”

 

Hux’s lips tugged into a tight smile.

 

“Certainly not you.”

 

The Force wrapped around the man’s throat before Ren even realized his rage had slipped through his control. His patience had just snapped without warning and Hux was now writhing under a choke, frantically tugging at the invisible hand on his throat.

 

_I can do it._

 

End him and all of his kind. Rid the Order of every single one of these high ranking hypocrites.

 

But it would only be temporary. Because corruption always spread from the head to the body and others would eventually rise to take their place.

 

Kylo Ren released his hold on Hux.

 

And the General collapsed on his arms and knees, struggling for breath.

 

“Consider this a warning,” Ren added coldly, as he stepped over the body that was now retching on the spotless opsidian floor and headed for the door.

 

“You’ll pay for this,” were the hoarse words he heard as the door slid shut behind him.

 

 ***

 

Rey escorted Leia down the ramp of the shuttle, lending the General her arm for her to lean upon, as she stepped on the spaceport’s docking ground. They wouldn’t be staying long at the supply station on Arkanis. Leia was to meet with the planet’s Chancellor later on that evening.

 

She could sense unrest on the young girl since this morning, when she entered the bridge to find a brooding Rey looking out the viewport, hand clasped tightly around her saber and brows furrowed, reminding her too much of  her own son’s.

 

Poe did not seem to be in the best of moods either, as he stared at a holopad unmoving for the better part of the hour that Leia hovered around the bridge going about her usual business. Which she had never seen Poe do. Ever.

 

Their steps splashed the wet ground swiftly as they tried to take cover inside the nearest shop. Leia had taken her precautions, familiar with the planet’s weather conditions, and wore a water resistant cape. But the poor girl had been drenched to the bone in a matter of seconds.

 

It was very busy inside the shopping center, workers and buyers rushing to and forth to complete their business and she saw Rey press her lips together, from the corner of her eye. She could no longer avoid it.

 

“Rey, what’s on your mind? You seem very agitated.”

 

Rey looked surprised at her acknowledgment.

 

“It’s nothing really. Too many days of travelling inside a spaceship, I believe.”

 

That wasn’t far from the truth. Leia had practically lived on ships all her life and still had trouble adjusting to the closed space. Rey had grown up under a blistering sun and surrounded by endless dunes of sand. She could believe that.

 

Only she didn’t.

 

Finn had approached Leia a few days ago, concerned about Rey and her dour moods. Poe had told her she was mostly just sad, but had witnessed a couple of spurts of rage, which were very much out of character for her.

 

A whistling worker passed by them at that moment, pushing a very heavy load of containers that rattled and shook, when the one on top of the stack slipped and landed two feet ahead of the two women, smashing into pieces.

 

“Hey! Watch it!” Rey yelled at the man.

 

And in the blink of an eye, she had stretched her hand out levitating the worker as he clawed and choked at an invisible grasp on his throat.

 

Leia’s eyes grew wide at the realization.

 

_She’s choking him with the Force…_

 

“Rey, no! Stop!”

 

Leia grabbed her arm, but was unable to break the girl’s concentration.

 

“Rey!”

 

Force gathered on her palms as Leia shoved the Jedi away, releasing the hold on the man, who he fell unceremoniously on the ground. He looked at them panting and quickly scrambled to his feet to get away.

 

She walked up to the fallen girl, who was looking up at her with terrified eyes.

 

“You need to tell me what is going on,” Leia stated calmly, but eyeing her with firmness.

 

Rey slowly lifted herself up, patting the nonexistent dust from her clothes and remained silent, gaze glued to her boots.

 

“There is a bond between me and your son,” she began to speak, voice low and hesitant. “A literal bond that connects our thoughts, our bodies and our feelings. It’s growing stronger as time goes by.”

 

_A what?_

 

“You have a bond with my son?”

 

_Am I hearing right?_

 

“He says it’s a Force bond, something extremely rare.”

 

“You have a Force bond with Ben.” Leia repeated. Her train of thought clearly stuck at such a revelation.

 

_Is that even possible?_

 

“Yeah. Neither of us know how it happened. Snoke said he created it himself, but I believe…”

 

“Wait. Snoke?” Leia cut in again. “Snoke did this?”

 

The nightmares that abhorrent creature had created never seemed to end.

 

“I don’t believe he did it. And from what I sense from him, neither does Ben.”

 

“Hold on.” The implications of this bond were more serious than they seemed. “What exactly do you mean when you say sense? Are you in contact with him?”

 

Could he hurt her? Could he hurt people around her? And what about the Resistance. Would he use Rey to extract information regarding them all?

 

“It doesn’t work the way you think. I’ve told you before, he’s not the monster you make him to be.”

 

“Are any of us in danger?"

 

Rey stepped closer as all her apprehension dissipated and her usual determination started shining through. Leia’s eyes widened as Rey took her hands in hers.

 

“Leia, your son and I share a very unique Force bond. It is something that just came to be and we are just beginning to control it. It seems to be growing stronger because his emotions are starting to filter through and part of his senses. It requires effort from me to block him out.”

 

Rey sighed bringing her hand up to rub her forehead. This bond was obviously causing her a lot of distress.

 

“I feel his anger, his hate, his pain, his self loathe. All these feelings and senses are starting to flood my mind and they hurt. Gods, Leia, he hurts. And I don’t know how to help him.”

 

Leia watched Rey unravel before her, too shocked to say a word. None of this made any sense, but the girl before her was clearly suffering because of it.

 

“Is there a way to stop it?”

 

“Not that we know off.” She looked at Leia, barely containing her emotions.” I don’t believe there is anyone left to tell us how.”

 

_Luke._

 

That insufferable brother of hers would know what to do. Only he was gone taking away with him whatever knowledge was left of the Jedi.

 

_Think._

 

What would he do?

 

Leia took a deep breath emptying her mind as she took Rey’s hands. She held them softly in hers and patiently waited for Rey’s emotions to pass through her and disperse into the Force.

 

Rey’s pants slowed down after a few moments and her focus returned. She stared at Leia as if she had just unveiled the secrets of the universe.

 

“How did you do that?”

 

Leia squeezed her hands assuredly before letting go.

 

“You can’t keep your emotions bottled up inside you as if you own them. Learn to diffuse them.”

 

Rey blinked at her.

 

 Leia smiled. “Luke taught me that trick years ago. It took him a while to figure out too,” she winked. “It has served me a lot in difficult situations. My son, however, was never able to use it,” Leia trailed off.

 

_Too much darkness in him._

 

“I’ll teach him.”

 

Leia looked at Rey. There was so much Light in this girl and fierce kindness. And a sentiment emanated from her every time she spoke of Ben. As if she cared. For her son.

_And perhaps he…_

 

She shook her head. A mother’s hope.

 

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. Try to master it first. And this discussion is not over yet,” she said smoothing out her dress and settling her cloak on her shoulders. “Now let’s move on and get you a change of clothes. You look like a drowned rat and I don’t want you catching a cold.”

 

 ***

 

Synchronized steps echoed in the cavernous hangar bay of the _Finalizer_ as Kylo Ren and General Hux walked through the endless impeccable rows of Stormtroopers standing in rigid attention. Not a single helmet was out of line, as the pair inspected the First Order’s finest battalions.

 

Hidden in the shadows of his hood, Ren side eyed the concealed smirk on Hux’s face.

 

Of course he would be proud of his grandiose show of power.

 

Captain Phasma was standing still as a statue at the end of the rows, back turned to the numerous TIE fighters positioned in neat columns along the hangar’s walls. Not a single sound was heard apart from the rhythmic footsteps and the sweeping of Ren’s cloak on the polished black floor.

 

“As you can see, Supreme Leader, we are ready for the attack,” General Hux commented smugly.

 

Kylo Ren was loathe to admit it, but the General was right.

 

“Indeed,” he said, his deep voice filling the vast hangar.

 

Another pair of steps resounded heavily as they swiftly made their way towards the two men. Kylo Ren halted, recognizing one of his knight’s presence approaching him and he turned to greet him. Khol dressed from head to toe in his black armor stalked towards them, his massive body easily spotted between the rows of white armored Troopers.

 

He came up to Ren, completely ignoring the General by his side, and kneeled in front of him.

 

“Master,” his distorted voice came through his helmet’s modulator. “There is something you need to know immediately.”

 

Kylo Ren studied him for a moment before nodding.

 

Khol removed his helmet with a hiss revealing his ebony skin marked with hieroglyphics from his home planet. The man leaned in Ren’s ear and whispered a few words that churned his guts.

 

This was not good.

 

“On whose authority?” He asked in a low voice.

 

“Valek’s.”

 

“Where?”

 

“In Coruscant, a few days ago.”

 

“Was it…”

 

Khol gazed at him steadily for a moment.

 

“They escaped.”

 

Kylo Ren fisted his hands. Valek was becoming very brash.

 

He shut his eyes in an attempt to reign in his rising anger. He tapped into the Force for Rey’s much needed assistance, knowing that a fit of rage was not an option at the moment. But he felt his surroundings shift and move, and a low vibrating resonance shook him enough to make his eyes snap wide open soon after.

 

 _A loud explosion made his ears ring and he looked up just in time to see an immense wall crumple before him. He threw his hand out to stop a pile of stones heading his way, but the Force did not respond to his will as it should. The moment suspended in time as he realized that the stones’ trajectory wouldn’t change. That they were coming his way in an inevitable and final descend and he was powerless to stop them_.

 

“Kylo?” He felt a light touch on his arm and jerked back into reality. Cold sweat was running down this forehead and his breath was coming out in pants.

 

“Are you all right?” Khol asked, voice laden with concern.

 

Ren looked around at the helmeted faces staring his way.

 

He glanced at his chest where he could have sworn just a second ago was crushed by a humongous stone, but it seemed intact. There was breath in his lungs and a heartbeat in his ears.

 

He closed his eyes partly relieved. But partly not.

 

_What was that?_

 

Ren desperately tried to remain calm amongst the troops. But he needed to get out of there. Now.

 

“Supreme Leader, is there…”

 

“Carry on,” he interrupted Hux and his semblance of concern.

 

Kylo Rem crossed the endless hanger bay with swift strides, opening the doors with a wave of his hand and stumbling out. He clutched at his collar and removed his hood.

 

A Force vision.

 

It had been a Force vision.

 

_Of my death..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter contained some political debate, I hope I haven't offended anybody. I tried to portray each side as closely as I could to the Star Wars universe, with a slight tilt of the scale towards a democratic regime, since I myself am a Resistance supporter. Again sorry for any inconvenience, there won't be much of that anymore. On with the story as the plot thickens and our two lovebirds get themselves tangled up even more. Thank you for all the kudos and bookmarks! And reviews are priceless!!


	8. Choosing the path and walking it

Leia lifted her head from the desk’s monitors to glance at the approaching planet on the viewport of the bridge.  The _Titan_ had just exited hyperspace. She had been wrecking her brain on how to possibly convince Correlia, one of the most powerful worlds in the Core to join their cause. Correlia’s  council was the most reluctant she had come across so far, fearing retaliation from the First Order in case their world collaborated with the Resistance. The talks would drag, she was fairly certain about that. It would be a tiring day. Maybe she should have stayed in her rooms a little longer, instead of making her way to the bridge at the crack of dawn. She smiled to herself.

 

 _Figuratively speaking of course_.

 

 The _Cassandra_ under General Caluan Ematt’s command should be planet bound by now, waiting for Leia to embark after the meeting, in her customary ship jumping. Switching ships was cumbersome but it seemed to keep the assassin at bay.

 

The attempt on Naboo had caught her unprepared. But the one in Coruscant a few days ago, Rey and her were able to elude. Barely. After meeting with the governor of Coruscant, instead of returning to the _Titan_ they took off on a wild ride across the city with a stolen speeder, the assassin hot on their heels. They ended up hijacking a small freighter and meeting with Poe’s _Titan_ two systems away.

 

A little excitement had felt good.

 

Thanks to the kyber crystal hidden at all times in her gowns, she could sense Dark Forcers approaching her way. And so could Rey. But the crystal also had its setbacks. It seemed to wear her down.  Her grasp on the Force was becoming slippery and her perception of feelings hazier.

 

What really troubled her, though was Rey’s confession on Arkanis. Leia still couldn’t wrap her mind around the idea of a Force bond between Rey and her son. Or the dangers it brewed. Rey had insisted that he did not intend to draw information from her, nor wanted to cause her harm. But the General in her was a sceptic and maybe a little paranoid.

 

Leia stretched her back shutting the holoprojection in front of her. The bridge was quiet, apart for the everlasting beeping and occasional chatter amongst the crew. Correlias’ seas were reflecting the sun’s beams directly into the bridge by now, lighting up the grey industrial surroundings and perking up everyone’s mood. She glanced at the mug on the projection panel in front of her. Another mug of caf wouldn’t hurt. Along with a little breakfast perhaps.

 

The doors behind her hissed open and she could sense Rey’s presence entering the bridge along with Poe. Interestingly enough, her brightness in the Force was somewhat dimmed as of late.

 

“General,” the man stationed on the communication’s panel next to her –Tim was it?-said. “Incoming message, no identification or origin known.”

 

_That’s odd._

 

“Is it on our channels?”

 

“No, ma’am. It’s… ah… it’s addressed to a Mrs. S.”

 

“Don’t know who that is, so they’ll have to settle for me. Put it through.”

 

Leia sipped from her caf and cleared her voice.

 

“This is the _Titan_. Identify yourselves,” she asked, her voice stern.

 

A little static filtered through followed by a pause. Rey walked up to her side a nervous expression on her features.

 

“No need for that,” a voice answered through the speakers. Rich and deep, it almost sounded like…

 

Her heart stopped.

 

_No, it can’t be._

 

Her hands grasped the mug in front of her, threatening to crush it.

 

“Hello General.”

 

Her heart started hammering and her vision fogged up.

 

“Who is this?” Poe intervened noticing Leia’s paling face.

 

_My son._

 

Her hand reached out, seizing Poe’s forearm in an attempt to silence him.

 

“I don’t have time for introductions. I’m only here to give you the information you seek. I will speak only to General Organa,” the voice dictated.

 

“I will take this in my office,” Leia quickly commanded, getting off her chair and heading for the adjacent room.

 

“No way. You are not talking to this man by yourself,” Poe objected following Leia to her office his agitation evident on his stride.

 

“Yes, I am. And that’s an order Dameron,” she commanded over her shoulder.

 

“Not on my ship it’s not!”

 

She opened her mouth for a retort but immediately realized that perhaps two set of ears were better than one. Rey too trailed after him, without a word, as the doors hissed closed behind them. She wore an expression that had never appeared on her clear face before, Leia noticed. That of guilt.

 

Leia frowned pressing a button on her office panel and accepting the call in her office.

 

There were so many things she wanted to say to the man across the galaxy, but her emotions were getting the better of her and drowned all coherent thought.

 

“What kind of information?” She asked, her political reflexes taking hold of the situation.

 

“The attack will take place on Coruscant six days from now,” his voice continued, the information being relayed digging for her attention. “There will be close to thirty Star Destroyers and a new Dreadnought. A cyber virus is to be released on Coruscant’s databanks at the same time, blocking any data transfer on everything from households to government establishments. It will wipe out power, communications, transports, banking systems, you name it. Coruscant will reduced to a primitive civilization in less than a day. They don’t stand a chance.”

 

The words were met with complete silence for a few long moments, before Leia and Poe turned to look at each other.

 

“Leia who is this?” Poe asked a hint of fear in his eyes.

 

No. This can’t be happening. Why would he…

 

“You can’t expect us to fall for this,” Leia protested, voice thick with emotion.

 

Rey stepped in taking Leia’s hand softly in hers and regarding her seriously.

 

“He isn’t lying.”

 

“You knew,” she said to the girl eyes narrowing in accusation. She recalled the events that took place a few days ago, connecting the dots. “You’ve been in contact with him.”

 

“Yes.”

 

Leia sat, closing her eyes and massaging her temples with the fingers of her hand.

 

_What do I do? Force, how can I believe him?_

 

“Ben, do you have any idea how this sounds coming from you.”

 

“Do not call me that!” he bit back, his anger seeping to her bones. “I will not beg for you to listen like I once did. The decision is yours.”

 

Rey hurried to settle things down before they got out of hand.

 

“You must understand how this sounds coming from you. Why should the Resistance believe a word you say?”

 

A pause hung heavy in the air.

 

“You believe me.”

 

His voice came through, anger dissipating.

 

Leia could feel Rey’s hand trembling in hers. She turned to regard the girl next to her, taking in the sadness in her eyes. Poe was also observing her, an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“That’s different,” Rey whispered.

 

“Let’s assume that you are telling the truth, is there something you expect us to do?” Poe interceded.

 

A sigh was heard from the other end.

 

“Raise a proper fleet to help defend against the battleships. The Dreadnought must be taken out before it levels the surface. I will be leading the ground troops. My goal is to access the capital’s central systems and disable the virus with my codes.”

 

“Why can’t you stop it from the ships?” he asked again.

 

“The slicer will be infecting the planet’s system from the surface. The virus is too unstable to do it from the ships. She will proceed the moment the first Star Destroyer appears in orbit. The order has already been given and I cannot revoke it without raising suspicions. She is planet bound as we speak and avoiding all communications.” Aggravation was coloring his voice again.

 

“There must be some other way this slicer can be stopped,” Leia said.

 

Rey squeezed her hand in agreement

 

“You can’t be there during this battle. It’s not safe. You’ll get yourself killed!”

 

“Safe? Nobody will ever be safe again, Rey, if the First Order succeeds,” he snapped.  “World after world they will all be broken into submission.”

 

“Don’t do this,” Leia heard herself beg. “You can be of better help from your flagship, and when all this is over than we can figure out a way for you to…”

 

“To what, mother? Come back home? After everything I’ve done? Your beloved Republic will execute me or bury me away in some prison for the remainder of my years. There is no place left for me in this galaxy,” he exploded. “No. I get to choose what I do with my life. Not you. Not my uncle. Not Snoke. Me.”

 

Leia looked down at Rey’s hand clasped tightly with hers, fighting back the tears threatening to spill.

 

_If only…_

 

“It’s a shaky plan. But we’ve had worse.” Poe chimed in, breaking the tension. “Is there a safe way to contact you?”

 

“Just ask Rey.”

 

Poe pressed his lips and looked at Rey from the corner of his eyes.

 

“Ben,” Leia said.

 

 _My boy_.

 

“May the Force be with you.”

 

No response came from his side of the connection. The communication broke off.

 

Leia unclasped her hand from Rey’s, wiping away the tears that had rolled off her eyes. She took a deep breath trying to calm her rattled nerves. Poe huffed running his hands through his curls. He had a look on his face that she had come to recognize as him wanting to get into an X-wing and tilt the world back to its normal axis. Rey stood perfectly still, waiting for Leia to come to a decision.

 

And she did.

 

“We need to find that slicer,” Leia ordered.

 

*

 

“Rey! Wait up!”

She heard Poe call behind her. She reluctantly slowed down and turned to face him, bracing herself for whatever storm he was about to unleash.

 

He quickly caught up to her outside the doors leading to the engine room, where she was stationed.

 

“Care to explain what that was all about?”

 

“This is hardly the time or place to…” she gestured with her hand avoiding eye contact with him.

 

“There will never be a right time for this,” he countered, his eyes searching for hers.  “You’ve been in contact with Kylo Ren, for Force’s sake! Under everyone’s nose. What were you thinking?”

 

“It wasn’t like that,” she protested in a small voice.

 

“The man is unpredictable. Did it ever occur to you that he might be manipulating you?”

 

Her head snapped in his direction. How could he think that of her? She would never put anybody in danger.

 

“Of course I…”

 

“No you didn’t Rey,” he pressed on.

 

“Will you just stop!” She cried out.

 

Poe rested a hand on her shoulder, bringing his eyes to her level. There was an intensity burning in them that caused her to squirm.

 

 “You never think of the consequences,” he stated. “You just follow your impulses wherever they may lead you.”

 

Rey nailed him with a glare.

 

“That’s rich coming from you.”

 

“You have been talking with Kylo Ren! And you weren’t exactly exchanging advice on how to fix your lightsabers,”

 

“He’s giving us the information we need to save a planet. So I must be doing something right.”

 

“This isn’t just about Coruscant Rey. Don’t you see that?”

 

Rey did not like where this conversation was heading.

 

“You don’t even consider him an enemy anymore. If you could have just seen your face in that room.” Poe exhaled, running his hand through his curls and down his face, trying to compose himself.

 

He stepped closer to her, taking her hands in his and gazing caringly at her face.

 

“I don’t know what he means to you…”

 

“He’s my friend,” she answered in defense.

 

“No.  He isn’t just a friend.”

 

Rey lifted her eyes to his, hesitating about how much to say. She trusted this man standing in front of her. Cared about his so deeply and hated seeing him hurt. But the Force bond was not a concept he could comprehend.

 

“I don’t know how to explain what he is to me,” she started. “We are bonded in a way nobody could understand.” She shook her head pleading with him. “Poe I can’t let him die out there.”

 

“Rey…” he tried to warn.

 

“I’ll find Chewbacca and ask him to take me to Coruscant with the Falcon. That way I won’t be using any of your ships. You’ll need every single one of them,” she added.

Fear fleeted in his eyes and he squeezed her arms tightly.

 

“Rey. No. It will be an open battlefield down there. You can’t go strolling amongst the troops calling out his name! If what he says is true, Coruscant will be a heap of rubble and ash within a day. You’ll just die searching for him and all the Force in the galaxy won’t be enough to help you. Nobody will help you.”

 

She stared at him without blinking for a moment.  Realizing the magnitude of what she was about to do.

 

Poe must have read her distress, because he took her in his arms, kissing her temple softly.

 

“Stay here with me. There is so much you can still offer. We could build so much together,” he whispered in her ear.

 

A flash of morning sun, swiveling curtains and children’s giggles echoed in her mind. All that seemed so far away now. Unreachable.

 

Rey slowly pulled away setting a soft kiss on his lips. She extracted herself from his arms and backed away. Poe stared back at her, disbelief and hurt alternating on his face.

 

“I have to do this,” she said taking a deep breath.

 

She was at a loss of better words to say.

 

“You won’t make it back…”

 

“I’ll find a way.”

 

Poe straightened his body and jammed his hands in his pockets.

 

“Right,” he nodded looking away from her. Rey could feel his bitterness wrapping around him like a shield. “I have work to do at the bridge. I’ll see you later,” he said schooling his features. He turned around and headed down the corridor without glancing back.

 

Rey waited for him to disappear around a corner before sighing and pressing the panel to the engine room. One of the mechanics approached her with a box of tools and a schematics holopad in hand demanding her attention.

 

*

 

Stars, he was tired. He barely ever slept properly, but these past few days had taken exhaustion to a whole new level.

 

Kylo Ren entered his quarters, not even bothering to raise the dimmer. The blue streaks of hyperspace running outside his window bathed his rooms in an ethereal glow. He removed his heavy cloak and leather gloves, setting them on his sofa on his way to the bedroom.

 

He had sensed the growing dislike and apprehension from his subordinate officers as he systematically switched the leadership of the Star Destroyers to less capable hands. And the latest meeting in the Conference room had only cemented their distrust. General Hux’s attitude as annoying as it may have been, did not come as a surprise.  The man was sly, though, and his threats were not to be dismissed as void.

 

Kylo Ren plopped on the corner of his bed removing his boots. He unclasped his saber and set it on the nightstand next to his bed. What really grated on him, was Valek’s disobedience. He was very much aware of his knight’s intentions. Fights between the two of them were becoming an everyday occurrence aboard the _Finalizer_ , dividing his knights’ allegiance and turning the ship into an arena.

 

_That’s why Snoke never gathered us on one ship._

 

He wouldn’t be surprised if he woke up to a lit saber set on his throat one night. Hence his lack of sleep.

 

The knight continued to remove his belt and overcoat, tossing them at a chair nearby. His neck cricked as he stretched it, and he winced at the pain on his left ribs. A bruise was probably forming from that kick he had sustained.

 

He needed a shower but couldn’t find the power in him to drag himself to the refresher.

 

And to top everything off, that call to his mother…

 

Part of him still couldn’t believe he had gone on and contacted her.

 

Kylo Ren dropped his head to his hands, fingers grasping on to his locks of hair.

 

_What was I thinking?_

 

But the decision had been made and he had to see it through. If anyone suspected his betrayal, then his codes would be blocked and all his plans would go to waste. And he’d end up dead.

 

_Either way._

 

He inhaled deeply, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with the heel of his palms. Rey had too much of an influence on him. His loyalties were in havoc because of her, his judgement was already questionable, and his life was at stake to say the least.

 

_How the hell did I get myself in this position?_

 

Removing himself from the bed, he padded towards the refresher, taking off his shirt. He had to figure out some way to make it out alive and disappear into the Unknown Regions if need be. Or beyond.

 

And start over.

 

*

 

Rey was too rattled to concentrate on anything she was fixing. The wrench dropped from her hand, clanging loudly on the metal stairs below her and dropping a good twenty feet next to a mechanic, who turned to her with a glare.

 

“Sorry,” she called out biting her lip.

 

She knew she should have called it quits when she caught herself rewiring the cooling system to the shield generator, instead of the hyperspace engine, earlier in the afternoon. A headache had settled throughout the day, clouding her thoughts and making her clumsy.

 

Nothing to do with the mother-son confrontation she had witnessed in the morning, nor her fight with Poe.

 

_Or the suicide mission Kylo Ren had assigned to himself._

 

She got up from her crouched position, wiping her greasy hands on her uniform and chugging some water from her bottle. She packed up her tools and carefully made her way down the ladder. Practically her whole day had been spent in the engine room and nightfall had creeped up on her again.

 

Rey made her way down the deserted corridors of the ship towards the lounge area, picking on the loaf of bread she had stashed in her pouch earlier in the day. The room was dark and empty by now, the only source of light coming from the large viewport taking up most of the wall.

 

She sat cross legged in a corner next to the window overlooking Correlia at night. The sun was hidden behind the planet accentuating the numerous small moons orbiting around it. Her head rested on the window taking in the view spread before her.

 

It was breathtaking.

 

Her heart clenched. The serenity and beauty outside clashing with the turmoil within her. Events were spiraling out of control. The choices she was forced to make were leading her down paths she couldn’t come back from. And Rey was afraid. Afraid for the lives of the people she cared about. Leia. Finn. Poe.

 

_Ben._

 

What it if she couldn’t find him in the battle. Or she didn’t make it on time to help him. Or distracted him and ended up being the cause of his…

 

_I’ve seen it…_

 

_I’ve seen his death…_

 

Rey covered her face with her hands. She couldn’t even begin to imagine the void inside her if the bond was severed. It had so quietly evolved from a pinprick at the back of her mind to a near constant presence just a thought away.

 

She pressed her palms to her temples, wishing her mind to quiet.

 

Their time was running out.

 

She would be alone.

 

Again.

 

Desperation clawed on her heart and she reached out for him.

 

The room she found herself in was lit up by blue waves dancing on the smooth surfaces of a bedroom. She was sitting cross legged, her back resting on an enormous viewport taking up what should have been a wall.

 

The man lying on the bed in front of her was still. Features relaxed from the emotions burdening them. Dark circles were marring his closed lids, while wet tresses clung to his face. His back was bare and an arm was hanging from the bed. The light rise and fall of his body reminding her there was still breath in him.

 

He was asleep.

 

Rey brought her hand to her mouth stifling a cry of relief threatening to wake him up.

 

She slid closer to him, the cold tile floor numbing her knees. She rested her chin on the mattress a few inches away from his face, holding her breath. A lock of hair lay across his forehead and she stretched her hand, lightly fingering it away.

 

Eyes flew open.

 

Her wrist was grabbed by an iron grasp.

 

Before she knew it her back was on the floor, arms pinned on the side of her head and Kylo Ren’s body was set heavily on her.

 

Brown eyes widened in recognition and his body sagged in relief. But he did not move. His gaze remained trained on hers, unwavering as he slowly brought his face closer to hers.

 

Shutting his eyes, he lowered his head setting it softly on the column of her neck.

 

“You startled me. Don’t do that,” his voice rumbled on her chest.

 

She exhaled, letting go of the air she had been holding.

 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” she whispered, her voice caught on her throat.

 

He lifted his head, looking at her curiously.

 

“I’m a light sleeper these days.”

 

“It shows,” she said, gaze falling on his dark circles.

 

Ren smiled, a set of dimples appearing on his cheeks.

 

_Of course this man would have dimples._

 

He carefully lifted himself off her, extending a hand for her to take.

 

Rey accepted.

 

He was clad only in his soft loose night pants. His chest was bare which had once made her fidget. But not this time. It felt almost natural for him to be standing like that in front of her, their bond thrumming in prospect.

 

“So this is your room? Cozy.”

 

Ren looked around at his bed, nightstand, desk, holopad, and sofa. His fingers went through his tussled hair messing it further.

 

“Um… yeah. It’s… ah…scarce,” he admitted, his eyes breaking into a smile.

 

She grinned is response warmth spreading inside her.

 

Her eyes dropped to the saber on the nightstand. Ren must have noticed because he rushed to comment.

 

“It’s a habit. I’ve had it for years. It’s been proven effective.”

 

Rey knew very well what it meant to sleep with a weapon by her pillow. She too had made a habit of it all those years in Jakku. But she didn’t need one anymore. And it saddened her to see that he still felt like he had to defend himself even in his sleep.

 

She stepped closer to him lifting her hand and setting it hesitantly over the beat of his heart. His breath hitched in response.

 

“Don’t do it. Don’t go to Coruscant. Come back with me…” she pleaded.

 

He looked away, conflicting emotions written on his features. For some reason he felt unnerved. As if he didn’t know how to be around her. She removed it, releasing whatever hold she had on him.  Sorrow began to shadow his eyes.

 

“You know I can’t.”

 

A pale face covered in dirt and blood floated before her eyes.

 

Her jaw set.

 

“What if you don’t make it? There are so many other ways that you could help bring down the First Order. This doesn’t have to be the one.”

 

Ren stared back at her steadily, brushing against their bond to decipher her feelings. Was he doubting her?  She could sense an unspoken need simmering underneath his skin. Hesitantly, he lifted his hands to cup her face, caressing it with the pads of his thumbs.

 

“I have to finish this,” he said, movements tender but voice resolved. “Let me finish this.”

 

_It’s his path._

 

The realization trickled like ice water on her back. He was choosing his path.

 

She shook her head.

 

“Then I’ll help you. I’m coming with you.”

 

 “No. Your place is with the Resistance, next to my mother and your…” he paused clenching his jaw. Any residual mirth had by now disappeared, his usual solemnness engulfing his presence. “There is no place for you with me.”

 

Ironic how their positions were now reversed.

 

“Why does everyone think they know where my place is?” She asked in resentment. “I choose where I want to be and I am not letting you do this on your own.”

 

“Rey…”

 

“I will find you in Coruscant!” She lashed out.

 

“You will never find me in a battlefield like that. I can’t be worrying about you. Rey, please…” his hold on her face tightened.

 

_And I can’t let you die._

 

Rey brought her hands up to his, unclasping them with care. They dropped to his side as rejection began to settle in his eyes. But she lifted her hand to cup his face and his eyes jolted to hers in surprise.

 

“I’ll see you soon,” she promised and let go of the bond.

 

She blinked, the bluish glow having disappeared and replaced by the dark body of Correlia hovering over a window.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the choices we make in life are more difficult than others and our determination behind them wavers. This is what I wanted to portray in this chapter. I hope you enjoyed!


	9. Revelations

“Coruscant? Why does everyone want to go to Coruscant?”

 

Rose side eyed Finn and returned her gaze to General Organa standing next to her outside the _Cassandra’s_ hangar bay.

 

“Ignore him.”

 

“He’s got a point. That’s where all the action will take place,” Leia smirked. “We don’t have much time in our hands and not a lot of information about the slicer, I’m afraid. But I’ll send you to someone who might be of help.”

 

She set her hand on the panel and the heavy doors slid open with a small grunt, allowing the small party to step inside a spacious hangar bay. The _Cassandra_ was not as big as the cruiser General Holdo had hyperspaced through the _Supremacy_ , but was roomy enough to hold a respectable amount of X-wings and a transport shuttle. Granted, the shuttle looked a couple of years younger than the _Millenium Falcon_ , but it would have to suffice.

 

Rey a constant shadow to Leia filled in for her. “You’re talking about Nyxx, right?”

 

Leia nodded. “Be extremely careful. Nyxx’s cantina is a sort of crossroads for spies and bounty hunters. You don’t want to attract unwanted attention on you. Be discreet and don’t visit him more than one or two times.”

 

“I don’t think are noses would handle it anyway,” Rey commented as she circled the shuttle they would be traveling aboard for the next couple of days. She banged her hand on the haul of the ship and luckily nothing fell off.

 

Finn turned to look at her. “You’ve been there?” He snapped. “Is that what you were up to last time we were in Coruscant?”

 

“Finn, it no longer matters…”

 

“Of course it matters!” He stepped closer to her, his concern flaring his temper. You can’t be putting yourself in unnecessary danger when we’re in the middle of a mission. Or any kind of danger, actually.”

 

“You know I can take care of myself,” she answered calmly.

 

“Just because you have a saber doesn’t mean you’re invincible!"

 

“Knock it off you two. If this is how you’ll act I can might as well go down there myself,” Leia scolded, grasping her cane with both hands and leaning on it.

 

“They’ll behave. I’ll make sure of it,” Rose intervened, glaring at Finn who just rolled his eyes.

 

Leia stared at the three of them for a few moments before carrying on. “Chewbacca is on Coruscant as we speak for supplies with the _Millenium Falcon_. He will be your ticket out of the capital when the time comes. This shuttle will be dropping you off and immediately departing.”

 

“Rey will have to be the one to do the talking with the wookie,” Finn said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. “He always seems to misinterpret what I say.”

 

Rose hit him on the arm with her pouch. “Chewbacca just doesn’t like to talk much, especially when he’s working on the _Falcon_.”

 

“Talk? Seriously?”

 

Leia glanced at Rey who was taking in the scene with a soft smile on her face. It looked good on her.

 

“You’ll figure it out,” Leia said with a small gesture. “Find the slicer. Stop the virus. You’re dismissed.”

 

The three of them looked at each other for a moment, before shuffling away to their duties.

 

“Rey, I wish to speak with you a little longer,” Leia added as Rose disappeared inside the shuttle for inspection and Finn headed for the supply cabinets.

 

Rey turned to face her reluctantly. The girl did not look her best.

 

 _This bond must be really wearing her down_.

 

“I want to give you this to hold on to. I believe you’ll be in greater need of it than me.”

 

Leia extended her hand. The black kyber crystal was settled grimly on her palm.

 

Rey regarded it with apprehension. Clearly she did not look fond of taking it.

 

“It drains me. It derails my force abilities and clouds my thinking. I am not saying you should keep it. It is a dark relic and behaves accordingly. But perhaps you will be stronger in wielding it than me.”

 

Rey picked it up and hid it in a breast pocket of her jacket.

 

“Thank you,” she mumbled.

 

A technician waved at the pair and two pilots saluted their General amicably, while Leia stood watching Rey with soft brown eyes. The girl had hers trained on the floor.

 

“What is it child?” Leia asked. She couldn’t help the motherly tone that would on occasion tinge her voice.

 

Rey looked up, a sigh escaping from her lips. She brought her hand to her forehead rubbing it in frustration.

 

“I’m going to bring him back,” she finally confessed. “I will bring your son home.”

 

Leia stared at her for a few painful moments.

 

 “I can’t ask you to do that,” she said. “I asked Han to bring him home and our son…”

 

_Our son killed him._

 

Leia’s voice betrayed her as she tried to utter the words. And now this slip of a girl was promising her the same thing.

 

“You’re not asking me. This is what I want to do.” Rey stated. “I am not doing it only for you.”

 

Leia looked at her solemnly.

 

“You can’t drag him against his will. I am not his home anymore. He hasn’t regarded me as such in many, many years.”

 

“He no longer wishes to stay with the First Order.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Leia,” Rey approached her with bright eyes and a whispered voice. “If I do it. If I bring him back. Will you be able to find a way…”

 

Leia’s shoulders slumped. The weight of her years and the losses of her loved ones pressing down on her small graceful frame.

 

“I have been working on a way for a long time. But there are no guarantees.” Leia looked up at the young Jedi who was promising a future that seemed hopeless. “Rey, be very careful in Coruscant. Stay alive and come back. That is your mission.”

 

Rey nodded. But Leia could almost see the wheels turning in her clever mind.

 

“I understand. But let me at least try,” she said and she stepped closer to Leia carefully engulfing her in a very rare hug. The girl avoided physical contact of any sort and only a couple of people were allowed within an arm’s reach from her. It astonished her to realize that she could be one of them. Leia hugged her back. This simple sunny girl from Jakku, who seemed to chase away the storm from her son’s life.

 

Leia swallowed a knot on her throat.

 

_I hope that idiot boy of mine doesn’t break her heart._

 

“Thank you,” was all Leia could manage to say.

 

Rey pulled back with a radiant smile and glistening eyes. She turned to make her way up the shuttle’s ramp.

 

“ _Oi_ ,” she exclaimed at a technician coming out of the ship’s belly, carrying a couple of parts Leia had no clue what they were designed to do. “Did you just remove the hyperdrive’s reserve pipe line? I hope you have a replacement for it.” Rey huffed and made her way towards the startled man.

 

Leia smiled.

 

***

 

Kylo Ren stepped between his two knights, saber lit on his side.

 

“Enough!”

 

Neesha, eyes burning with fury, side stepped him trying to land a blow on Valek’s leg, but was shoved to the floor by Ren.

 

“I said enough!”

 

Behind him Valek snickered, extending his arms to the side in provocation. Kylo Ren turned to eye his second in command sternly.

 

“You should know better.”

 

“It was just a harmless joke.”

 

Neesha was back on her feet in an instant calling a dagger to her hand and throwing it at Valek. The weapon was halted in midair, suspending a moment or two before flipping and continuing its course aimed at the woman. She evaded it with her usual swift agility and it landed on the maintenance droid, which had just entered through the doors of the training room.

 

Khol sprung to his feet approaching Valek with a body poised to fight. He called for his axe across the room and it obeyed him immediately. He gripped it, cutting an arc through the air above him.

 

Ren’s eye twitched.

 

_Here we go again…_

 

It’s a good thing there were only three of his knights this time around. Khol’s bulk  towered over Valek, who stood unfazed in his spot. He was about to land a blow on Valek, who had just ignited his double blade saber, when Ren decided to end the dispute for good by Force shoving them both towards opposite walls.

 

“The attack is in four days. I need you all intact and without broken bones,” he stated switching off his saber and signaling the end of their training.

 

Khol cracked his neck as he stood up, while Valek rubbed at his shoulder.

 

Kylo Ren had decided to keep his most loyal knights with him during his search for the central databanks, but he hadn’t made up his mind on an assignment for Valek and the two remaining knights. Thone was always teaming up with Valek since children, so he knew he couldn’t count on him anymore. Aryn however was another story. His most secretive knight, possessed an amazing ability to hide himself and his thoughts from the Force. He and Valek were originally tasked to take out General Organa, but he had been able to send Aryn on an assignment on the Outer Rim at the time.

 

Neesha sent Valek a glare as she approached the smoking droid, retrieving her dagger and sashaying her way out of the room. Khol followed her out as well. Kylo Ren was about to head out too when a comment coming from Valek halted him in his tracks.

 

“Your heart is not with the Order any more, is it my Master?”

 

Ren froze.

 

Valek’s steps approached him from behind.

 

“The young Jedi seems to have stolen it.”

 

Ren snapped his head at his knight, leveling him with searing eyes.

 

“My loyalties are not to be challenged especially by you,” he said through clenched teeth. “And the next time I find you disobeying one of my direct orders I will have you stripped of your knighthood and personally have you thrown on Dathomir for you to rot. Is that clear?”

 

“No need to get alarmed,” he chided, lifting his hands in defense, eyes dancing with amusement as he came to face Ren. His features turned to stone. “At least not yet,” he hissed in a low voice inches from his ear. Valek tapped his temple with his finger sending him a smirk. “You need to contain those thoughts a little better, my friend,” he warned, stepping away and exiting the room.

 

The doors shut behind the knight, the noise resounding off the walls as Kylo Ren remained motionless in its center.

 

***

 

Rey sat up in her bunk bed. That feeling of being caged twisting in her chest since earlier in the afternoon. Surely the shuttle wasn’t big, but she’d been cramped up in smaller spaces before. No need to feel like the air was running out around her. She had already gone out to the controls to check on the pilot. Twice. And yet that feeling of dread would not be appeased.

 

She ran her hands through her hair, taking it all out from their holds. It wasn’t helping. She took the bottle of water on the side of her bunk emptying some on her hand and wetting her face and neck with it.

 

And then it dawned on her. The feeling did not belong to her.

 

She shut her eyes concentrating on his presence.

 

_It was him._

 

His emotions were bleeding through the bond again. She recognized a lot of feelings as his, but dread and fear were not one of them. And that was very unnerving.

 

She shut her eyes in an effort to relieve him, at least partially of their intensity. But when she reopened them, her bunk had disappeared and she was standing on a dimly lit area with multiple viewports in front of her. The polished black floor and beeping consoles in the back told her precisely where she was. The bridge of a First Order starship.

 

Doors hissed open and she swirled to see Kylo Ren stalking into the bridge, features shadowed under his hood and cloak flaring after his steps. All personnel snapped to attention as an officer caught up with his step offering a holopad.

 

“Today’s reports, sir.”

 

Ren took it without a word. It wasn’t until a moment or two later that he noticed Rey’s presence. His eyes grew wide and he reigned in his stormy stride as he approached her. He came to stand next to her, eyes staring ahead at the vastness of space.

 

One of the lights overhead illuminated his face, accentuating his drawn features and haunted eyes. His bloody split lips made a shushing sound as his thoughts skimmed the surface of her mind asking her to remain quiet.

 

She nodded.

 

Rey’s eyes remained trained on his profile as she slipped her slim fingers in his hand lacing them with his.

 

“You’re not alone,” she whispered to him. “I will never leave you alone again.”

 

His nostrils flared as he swallowed thickly. His eyes seemed glassier, but it might have just been the light reflecting off them.

 

She felt his hand tighten around hers.

 

Rey remained next to him for some time gazing out the window. Her lids grew heavy after a little while and with a nudge from him she found herself back in her bunk, sleep overtaking her mind.

 

***

 

Finn was used to bad smells. He had been stationed in sanitary after all on Starkiller base. But these Lower Levels absolutely reeked. He noticed Rose had lifted her scarf to cover the bottom half of her face, but Rey just carried on with just a frown on her features.

 

He was observing Rey for some time now, noticing the ease with which she led them through this labyrinth of roads and allies.

 

_Definitely been here before._

 

“Rey,” he said trying not to raise his voice above the background noise and call attention from a pair of heavily armed Mandalorians striding down the street.

 

She stopped immediately right in front a cracked grimy window with a dangling sign above them that read something about food portions. He glanced inside. Bodies half-conscious were sprawled on chairs and floor. One of them was sipping some liquid from a small cup.

 

_Spice users._

 

 He quickly averted his eyes to look back at Rey.

 

“Are you all right?” she asked.

 

“Well apart from…” he gestured vaguely at their surroundings. “Yeah, we’re fine. Listen…” he stepped closer to her. “Is there something you should warn us about? Or expect from us? Maybe this would be a good time to tell us before we enter whatever hole we’re supposed to investigate.”

 

“Investigate?” She giggled with bright eyes. “No, we’re just meeting Nyxx,” she added.

 

Rose looked at Finn expectantly. Yeah, he knew that look.

 

“No I mean, is there something more that we should know about? Like how you already know your way around this area.”

 

Her face fell and her usual sadness settled on her eyes. He hated seeing her so sad.

 

“I can’t tell you yet.”

 

He was pretty sure she’d say that.

 

She must have noticed something in his features, because she regarded him in a way she hadn’t for a while now. Stars, he missed his friend.

 

“But I need you to trust me. I’ll need your help, Finn at some point. Will you be able to help me, no matter how strange things may be?”

 

“Rey, I’ll always help you. You know that. But it would be good to know what we’re up against.”

 

Rey looked around wearing a hesitant expression on her face. She chewed on her lip for a moment and Finn darted a glance at Rose, who had her intelligent eyes trained on Rey, assessing her reaction.

 

She approached Finn, lowering her voice to a whisper and looking at him in an almost pleading way. It made him want to wrap his arms around her in a hug. Sometimes he wondered if even that would be enough to comfort her and ease a fraction of the burden weighing her down so much.

 

“I’m hoping to bring someone back with us and I don’t want you freaking out when the time comes.”

 

Well, that sounded rather…

 

_Rather…_

 

“I kinda doubt if Nyxx would want to…”

 

“Not Nyxx.”

 

He and Rose stared at her, curiosity weaving a tingling wave up their spine.

 

“Kylo Ren,” she admitted in a hushed voice.

 

“Say that again?”

 

He could have sworn she said Kylo Ren, but an alien was dragging a cart full of scraps next to them so he must have not heard right. Rey had already turned her back at them and was heading towards a seedy looking cantina with smudged windows and a broken door. He glanced at Rose who was staring at Rey as if she was planning on capturing the Supreme Leader of the First Order and throwing him in a cell back at the Resistance.

 

“Did she say what I thought she said?” Finn asked, setting his hands on his hips.

 

“Yeap.” Rose answered with a pop of her lips.

 

“You think Leia knows?”

 

“Probably.”

 

“Do we have a choice here, you think?”

 

“Doubt it.”

 

Finn huffed.

 

“Yeah, my thoughts exactly,” Rose replied.

 

***

 

“Not you again.”

 

Nyxx rolled his eyes at the party of three making themselves comfortable at his bar. He really admired and appreciated Leia, but babysitting was not part of the deal. The Jedi girl was surprisingly discrete as she took her seat, while the other two openly gawked at the patrons in the cantina.

 

“I’ve never seen a species with three heads before,” said the girl with the slanted eyes and button nose.

 

“You should have been with Han and us when went into Taz’s castle,” Finn –was it?- commented back in a low voice.

 

“Could the two of you be any more obvious?” Rey cut in. “Leia ordered us to keep a low profile.”

 

_For fuck’s sake._

 

“Shut up all of you or I’ll have that guy throw you out.”

 

Three pairs of eyes turned to stare at the back of a bulky alien who was in the process of carrying a humanoid, head dangling dangerously close to the floor and legs held tightly in his grasp.

 

“What is there to drink?”

 

Nyxx pinned Finn with an icy glare before taking out three glasses from the shelf under his bar.

 

“You’re lucky I ran out of bantha milk.”

 

The Jedi girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat, before leaning slightly towards Nyxx and murmuring under her breath.

 

“Where can we talk?”

 

Nyxx didn’t even look her way as he filled their glasses with the most innocent drink he could think of. He had already slipped a small piece of parchment under Rey’s drink with an address and a time on it.

 

“Don’t come here again,” he warned as he moved on to the side of the bar to strike a conversation with the First Order’s latest bounty hunter.

 

***

 

Valek shut the holoprojector off with a smirk. The description seemed to fit the Jedi girl. Why would she be in Coruscant especially three days before the attack? He could think of a number of reasons actually. But he chose to concentrate on his favorite one.

 

_She’s there because the Resistance knows of the attack._

 

Elation brimmed in his chest and a wide grin broke on his face. He itched to get his hands on her.

 

But one thing at a time. Valek patiently reminded himself.

 

He stretched his body and lifted himself from Kylo Ren’s chair. The Conference room was empty and dark, the slightest creak echoing within the chamber. He leisurely made his way out, stepping into the corridor and heading towards Hux’s quarters.

 

Of course the General would have to be notified. And he was certain he would be allowed to take matters into his own hands and dispose of the Jedi accordingly. He so wished Kylo Ren could be there when he slit the girl’s throat.

 

_Can’t have it all, I guess._

 

Valek was about to enter an elevator when its doors slid open revealing his Master flanked by Neesha and that brute, Khol. He nodded with a small smile as they made their way out. The two knights at his side ignored him, but Ren paused for a split second piercing him with steel eyes. He made no comment however as he resumed his heavy pace down the corridor.

 

Valek remained in his spot, eyeing Kylo Ren’s retreating back. The man’s presence was imposing, filling whole hangar bays with his vibrating intensity and terrifying officers with a slid of his eye. And Darth Vader’s grandson was powerful. Handling the Force with an ease and precision that none of the other knights had mastered. Including himself. He scowled, a taste of vitriol rising in his chest. He would have to remember that.

 

He entered the elevator punching the floor he was heading on the panel. If he were to leave and go after the Jedi in Coruscant, Kylo Ren might get suspicious. That meant he would have to put his personal plans about the Jedi on hold for the time being.

 

Valek leaned on the elevator wall, running his fingers through his trimmed beard in thought.

 

 He had to figure out a way to gain Aryn’s allegiance, even though he knew him to be the shadiest of all the knights. Perhaps Aryn could hunt down the girl and get rid of her. But it was practically impossible to get in touch with him, since he was tasked with helping out Clance insert the virus on Coruscant’s databanks.

 

Getting General Hux involved was not an option he was fond of. But he had to figure out a way to communicate with Aryn. And apart from Ren, he was the only other person that knew how.

 

Yes, Aryn seemed like the best option. For now.

 

***

 

Finn squinted at the bright sun in the middle of the sky.

 

“Aren’t we supposed to be undercover?”

 

“Good point.” Rose agreed looking around at the funfair and the crowd of people surrounding them.

 

“I thought the government would have started some kind of evacuation by now.” Rey frowned as a family of five passed by her heading for some children’s hovercraft ride.

 

“Are you sure this is the meeting point?” Rose asked again looking at a cart of candy next to her.

 

Rey checked the little piece of parchment in her hand for the fiftieth time. Yep, that’s what it said. Sully’s candy cart, 150th Annual Flower day, Coruscant’s funfair.

 

This Nyxx guy was odd.

 

An arm snaked over her shoulder squeezing her next to a solid body. She instinctively reached for her saber hidden under her jacket, but a friendly chuckle stopped her.

 

“Relax… I know better than to go after his girl. He’d break my teeth.”

 

Rey looked up to see Nyxx’s green eyes. There was no charcoal around them and he was wearing a comfortable beige tunic over brown pants. He looked…plain. And she hadn’t even felt him sneak up to her. This funfair was really distracting.

 

“Walk along, smile and tell me what the hell you’re doing here,” he continued a friendly smirk still plastered on his face.

 

“Leia has sent us. We’re looking for some slicer the First Order has hired,” Finn impatiently pitched in, carrying on to describe all the information they had gathered about the virus. Nyxx listened carefully as all four of them made their way to a picnic table set amongst patches of violet lilies. His features went from amused to solemn, fairly quickly from what Rey could tell.

 

Everyone slid on a bench, Rose crunching on a bag of candies she had bought on their way and handing the bag over to Finn.

 

“That would be Clance,” Nyxx commented setting his chin on his fist, in thought. “Coruscant is pretty much screwed if the stories I’ve heard about her are true.”

 

“You haven’t seen what this peanut can do,” Finn stated jabbing his thumb at Rose.

 

“There’s no point in trying to find her. Chances are she’ll be protected by a knight.” Nyxx said, his face darkening.

 

“Where would she insert it?” Rey asked.

 

He sighed. “I have a few places in mind, but it could be anywhere.”

 

Rose crunched on a candy, chewing loudly and smacking her fingers.

 

“Can we learn more about this virus? If it’s to be unleashed, let’s say, on the holonet for example, than we don’t need to find her to stop it. We just need computer systems strong and quick enough to intercept it. And maybe codes to break in. Oh, I know!”

 

Rose turned to look at Rey.

 

“You can use the Force to find her.”

 

“That’s not how the Force works,” she muttered with a frown.

 

“Maybe you should get in contact with Ren and fish some information out of him. Codes too, if you’re at it,” Nyxx commented watching an avian hop on a tree branch.

 

Two pairs of eyes stared at her in shock.

 

_No. No, no, no…_

 

“Rey, what is Nyxx talking about?” Finn asked, his confusion turning his eyes into saucers. Rose next to him gaped at her with fingers glued to a candy, just inches from her mouth.

 

 “Absolutely out of the question!” Rey protested, feeling her cheeks heat.

 

Nyxx studied her with an inscrutable expression in his eyes.

 

“Well then, we need to find Clance before she releases this virus. And you can’t do this on you own,” Nyxx said. “Lemme take care of some things first and I’ll meet you here.” He pushed another piece of parchment in Rey’s way, eyeing her carefully.

 

Rey glanced at the address.

 

“Yeah, I know where that is,” she sighed.

 

***

 

It was way past midnight by the time Rey made it back to the hostel. She looked up at the fluorescent sign that blinked hazily in the rain, clothes soaked to her bones and teeth chattering. Half of the sign was barely visible, the doors to the hostel were cracked, but she already knew that the room waiting for her was far more inviting than the exterior of the building. She entered the lobby, glancing at the Togrutan girl at the reception staring at a holopad, and made her way up the stairs.

 

Rey shut the door behind her, making sure it was locked before collapsing on the bed. Her back ached and her feet were sore. She and Nyxx must have swept half of Coruscant searching for any kind of lead to the slicer. Her unexpected partner had turned out to be quite a talker. Most of his ramblings were of stories about the Lower Levels that she mostly ignored, but there were a couple on instances where his friend’s name was mentioned and she perked up her ears to listen.

 

Grunting in effort she got herself off the bed and peeked behind the curtain at the street below. Thick drops were still falling from a sky that never slept. Humidity clung on desolate roads and thunder resounded off its quiet buildings. Part of her wished that this little rain could cleanse away the misery from its inhabitants as well.

 

She sighed.

 

_So much work to do._

 

If the Republic got another chance that is.

 

Rey dug for some dry nightclothes from her backpack, and padded to the refresher to scrub away the grime clinging on her body and clothes.

 

A soap bar later and a lot of dispensed water, to her dismay, she returned to her bed.

 

_His bed._

 

She corrected herself immediately. This was the room the teenage Ben Solo once chose to stay in, during his adventures in Lower Coruscant.

 

It was difficult to connect her experience in the hands of Kylo Ren, to Nyxx’s memories of a stormy and restless boy.

 

Rey crawled into bed, trying to settle her body in a comfortable position on a mattress that seemed to be made of bricks.

 

 It didn’t take long for her thoughts to drift off.

 

_Bright warmth hit her lids and she fluttered them open to the sight of a cloudless blue sky and a radiant sun hanging leisurely in its middle. The air was fragrant, she noticed, waves of flowers recently bloomed mixed with the headier smell of a forest. She heard the buzzing of an insect nearby and an avian flapped its wings further away. The sudden splash of water made her flinch and look up from her position, steadying her hands in what seemed like…_

 

_Sand?_

 

_There was a lake right in front of her and a man was stepping out, droplets of water falling from broad shoulders. He approached her, raking his wet strands of hair away with his hand, as his face broke into a smile that caught her breath. He sank next to her settling brown eyes on hers, before leaning in and capturing her lips in a tender kiss. The feeling of his soft lips on hers traveled right to her core, sparking a need she hadn’t realized was waiting for him. As if by reflex Rey stretched her arms, threading her fingers through the man’s locks, bringing him achingly closer. It seemed so natural for her to pull him over her body as she lay back on the sand, his arms caging her possessively. She let him deepen the kiss, his touch turning feral as she strained to mold her body with his. He broke away a few moments later, nudging the tip of his nose with hers and awarding her with another of his rare smiles._

 

_More. I want more…_

 

_Her heart swelled with an emotion that her lips were too scared to utter._

 

Rey blinked, the darkness of the room surrounding her sending a shiver down her spine. Outside her window, the pitter patter of the rain on metal beams and muddy roads reminded her where her body had been all along.

 

_It was just a dream…_

 

The thought surfaced on her mind and her heart sunk back deflated. She turned to her side, lifting the blanket to cover her bare shoulders as she stared out the dark window. The room was too cold.

 

***

 

Kylo Ren startled out of his dream. His arms pushed his body away from the mattress, head hanging over a pillow that just instances ago was…

 

_Fuck._

 

He could still see the image of Rey writhing underneath him. And his body was aroused in a way he hadn’t allowed himself since his teenage years.

 

_Fuck._

 

It had felt so real. Having her under him, legs spreading to embrace him and lips molded with his was not something he was prepared for.

 

He sprung out of bed as if electrified.

 

Ren looked around his room, eyes wide, fearing she would appear out of a shadow and turn his dream into reality. His heart was hammering in his chest and he walked up to the large viewport of his room, staring at the hyperspace swiveling just outside. He had recognized that lake as the one outside his childhood home in Chandrila. Years had passed since his last visit there, but the images were bright and clear as if it were yesterday.

 

Or a tomorrow that would never come.

 

Barely over a day remained till the attack. Time was approaching.

 

And his time was running out.

 

He touched his forehead on the duraglass in front of him, dragging his palms down its cold surface. Mist formed before him as he let out a shaky exhale.

 

_Force, I’m not ready yet._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Knights of Ren are being introduced in the story. And Kylo and Rey are a mess. Enjoy!


	10. Injustice

Leia Organa made her way down the long corridor leading to the _Prometheus_ ’s bridge. The ship she would be currently residing in. Her cane clicked in accordance to her light steps, announcing her presence in the hustling hallways. Pilots saluted her in military form and officers bobbed their heads in respect. Leia acknowledged every single one of them, even though she hated to admit, was not familiar with the vast majority of them. A couple of non-combatant members of the crew smiled at her and she gestured back. It was exciting to meet new recruits, but seeing so many of them at the same time reminded her too much of the heavy losses the Resistance had sustained a few months ago.

 

The double doors slid open, allowing her entrance to the simple but elegant bridge of the Resistance’s newest ship, a Mon Calamari vessel given in support of their cause by General Ackbar’s son. Admiral D’Acy was already posted on the helm of the bridge, smoothing the ship out of Correlia’s orbit. The hurried shifting of the stars outside the large main viewport informed Leia that they’d be soon entering hyperspace. She walked to stand before it, eyes trained on the planet’s retreating mass and lips set in a thin line of disappointment.

 

 _Nothing. All these talks for nothing_.

 

Sometimes she wondered if it was even worth fighting for this galaxy, for unifying it under a democratic regime, when worlds were so willing to let their neighbor get torn apart in order to gain trade routes and better economic deals.

 

Correlia had refused to help Coruscant, fearing the First Order’s retaliation. But Leia had been in this game of power for far too long to recognize poorly veiled benefits, when she came across them.

 

“General we are about to enter hyperspace,” Admiral D’Acy said stepping next to her.

 

“Proceed.”

 

Leia nodded, glancing at the officer as she turned her back to the viewport and headed for the desk in the middle of the room to take a look at the latest reports and messages.

 

“We have a report from Chandrila,” Lieutenant Connix informed her as Leia was taking a seat.

 

_Damn knee._

 

“Have you read it?”

 

“You won’t like it,” she answered back, a tone of bitterness on her sweet voice.

 

“Why am I not surprised.”

 

Leia brought the said report on screen, skimming through its lines.

 

Chandrila’s government was torn as to whose side it should take during the invasion of Coruscant. A handful of its senators had dispatched a small part of its military fleet sending it in support of the Resistance. But it had raised great objections from the remainder of its Congress, which had gone as far as arresting the senators who had gone rogue.

 

_Great. A civil war is the last thing we need._

 

She sighed, rubbing away at the headache on her temples with her fingers.

 

Coruscant would be the last stand. And a defining point for the fate of the galaxy.

 

_And the fate of my son._

 

Leia closed her eyes.

 

Ben was playing a dangerous game. One that didn’t offer him many chances of coming out alive. And even though this past year had brought far more losses than she could bare, she held on to hope. Hope that perhaps her boy would break away from the darkness that was feeding off of him, twisting him into a being she could hardly recognize. And thanks to Rey, a path back to the Light was no longer as impossible as it once seemed.

 

But if that path led him to his own death, than she’d rather he didn’t take it at all. Because she was selfish like that. Because his death would be the one thing she did not wish to be alive to see.

 

Leia swallowed thickly, touching the wedding ring on her finger. Han would agree.

 

_Maker I’m getting too old._

 

A beep from the holopad in front of her startled out of her thoughts, and she glanced at the incoming report.

 

A small smile tugged at the ends of her lips.

 

_That wily old man did it again._

 

The First Order siege strategies and battle plans for Coruscant were staring at her from the small device in her palm along with the blueprints of the newest Dreadnought.

 

Her oldest friend had come through once more. Leia shook her head with fondness, wishing she could see his eyes gleam, hidden behind those large spectacles.

 

*

 

Rey could sense a shift in the Force, like a low throb reverberating in the air, making her uneasy. But it was impossible to pin point its origin in the middle of the crowded market. She halted, causing a man to bump on her back, his basket filled with loafs of bread scattering on the pavement. A string of swears and animated gestures was shot her direction and Nyxx stepped in to make his presence known.

 

“Watch it,” he warned, looming over the owner of the basket.

 

She swiveled her head, searching for that feeling of Darkness. It reminded her so much of the ones she had intercepted on Leia’s side. As if the Force was being slowly distorted, hammered and sharpened into a blade. The intent to kill behind it, unmistakable. She instinctively reached for the pocket of her jacket where the hidden crystal was burning with agreement.

 

There were too many people. The aggravating yells of merchants and bustling activity surrounding her, making it impossible to follow the thread to the shadow she felt was slipping through the crowd.

 

_There._

 

“Him,” she tugged on Nyxx’s sleeve pointing her finger to a cloaked figure nearby, opening his way amongst a row of colorful scarves.

 

Nyxx snapped his gaze towards the direction she was pointing at, eyes narrowing into slits.

 

*

 

Finn turned his head from the collection of knick knacks he was digging through, just in time to catch Nyxx parting his way amongst the humanoids and aliens in a rush, Rey hot on his heels.

 

“Rose,” he called, prying the girl off a stack of microchips. The crowd was too thick and he could see the pair struggling to close the distance to the man in pursuit, but he was slim and agile and easily eluded them.

 

Finn looked around, his eyes landing on a flight of stairs leading to the roofs of shacks on the side of the market. He leaped on them, easily gaining speed as he ran over the tin roofs. He could see the cloaked man turning swiftly towards a narrow passage at a corner of the main street, an older woman on his side panting to keep up with him. A hovercraft was stationed a little further down the alley.

 

_They’re getting away._

 

There was only one way to stop them.

 

Finn hurled himself over the edge of the roof aiming for the pair. But the cloaked man sensed him, head snapping towards Finn’s direction and he easily evaded him.  Finn tumbled on the ground, fingers grasping tightly on the fabric of the cloak.

 

He was quick on his feet, despite his crash on the pavement, but the man was quicker, swiftly jumping on his means of escape along with his companion, gunning the hovercraft and disappearing from sight.

 

*

 

Nyxx turned on the corner leading towards the alley the man had ran into, winded from the effort, only to come across a bewildered Finn standing in its middle, a cloak clutched firmly in his hand.

 

_Man, I gotta cut down on them smokes._

 

He halted, hands grasping his knees, out of breath.

 

“Whatcha got there?” He asked, pointing with his chin towards Finn’s hand.

 

“Did you see him? Did you? I got his cloak, but the moofmilker got away!” Finn yelled, gesturing wildly in the direction the hovercraft had headed.

 

“Did you see his face?” Rey asked, she and Rose having just turned around the corner as well.

 

They seemed to be in a much better condition than Nyxx. Barely breaking a sweat.

 

He frowned.

 

“Yeah, yeah I did,” Finn said dismissively. Obviously that was not what he was concerned about. “Can we use the Force to chase after them, or find their vehicle?”

 

_Why does everybody think the Force is a tracker?_

 

“That’s not how the Force works,” Nyxx pointed out straightening his back and filling his lungs with much needed air. He exhaled slowly and started patting his pockets. Now, if he could only find his smokes.

 

_Ah, there!_

 

“But you saw his face,” Rey pressed on, gaze turning to lock on Nyxx, catching his attention. His eyebrows rose. The Jedi was up to something.

 

“A lot of good that did.” Finn rolled his eyes as he fumbled through the fabric of the cloak producing a ration bar and a bunch of wrinkled pieces of parchment. “I’m the only one who saw it.”

 

A smile crept on her face.

 

“Not if you let me use a trick I learnt not too long ago.”

 

Finn fixed her with a suspicious stare, as he handed the ration bar and parchments over to Rose.

 

“You’re not coming anywhere near my head, you hear?”

 

Nyxx, looked at her curiously.

 

_She’s gonna read his mind. That little goody two shoes Jedi is gonna rip the man’s face from Finn’s mind._

 

He snickered. This was going to be fun.

 

Finn had just finished searching the dark cloak when Rey stepped firmly in front of him.

 

Nyxx felt a tug on his sleeve, right when the good part was about to begin, and he turned to glance at a very excited Rose all cheeky smiles and brightly lit eyes.

 

“These are city sketches and codes,” she said, holding out the things Finn had handed to her. “They might mean nothing at all, but it might be a start.”

 

“Lemme see’em,” he mumbled, trying to balance the roll of smokes between his lips. He flipped through them impatiently, most of the information not meaning a thing to him, but the last two parchments were maps of the Government district with a few buildings circled on it.

 

He looked up at Rose in surprise. She was practically jumping out of her skin in excitement.

 

_We finally have a lead._

 

Chances were the pair wouldn’t approach those particular buildings after nearly getting caught, but Nyxx knew Coruscant like the back of his hand and now they had an idea of what they were after.

 

And Rose was already counting on her fingers the equipment she needed to track down the virus.

 

“Nyxx,” Rey called out asking for his attention. Finn next to her was rubbing at his temples. “I have their faces.”

 

She came up to him stretching her fingers to touch the side of his head and he imitated her movements. The sensation wasn’t exactly pleasant as a memory planted itself in his mind.

One of the faces definitely belonged to Clance, but the other…

 

 _Fuck_.

 

“Aryn.”

 

*

 

_He looked up just in time to see the rubble collapsing on him. A howl of denial pierced his ears, right before his body got crushed under the immense debris. Blinding pain seared his mind and everything went dark._

 

Kylo Ren had to brace himself on the wall of the starship’s corridor in his struggle to breathe. It was that Force vision again. He tugged on his collar ripping part of it open in his effort to alleviate the pressure on his chest.

 

Neesha walking on his side halted as well, turning towards him in alarm.

 

“Master?”

 

He could feel sweat breaking on his brow and his vision was unfocused, but he was determined not to let any further sign of weakness show. Straightening his back he waved at Neesha to retain her position.

 

“It’s nothing,” he commented, pulling on the rim of his overcoat and taking a deep breath. He resumed his pace, without glancing back at her.

 

Neesha fixed him with an apprehensive stare, but chose wisely not to say anything else.

 

Reaching her quarters for the night, she stalled for a moment before giving him a nod of invitation.

 

“Not tonight, Neesha,” he declined with a shake of his head.

 

“It’s been a while now, Kylo,” she pointed out, taking her helmet off and letting blond hair cascade over black armor. She pinned him with her icy eyes, trying to skim his thoughts, but he shut her down immediately giving her a stern look.

 

“Don’t try that again,” he warned in a low voice and a scowl appeared on her face. They weren’t steady partners, so he knew she would find another company for the night if she really wished.  And even though spending a couple of hours with her in bed would let some of the day’s tension drain from him, he felt an uneasiness about their arrangement lately. Neesha was loyal to him as a knight and a life-long friend. It no longer felt…appropriate. Not when images of hazel eyes consumed his thoughts and a sunlit smile tangled itself around his dark heart.

 

Stepping away from her, he turned his back and continued his walk to his own quarters. Assuring himself that no threats lingered close by, he hit the panel to his rooms and staggered inside.

 

These force visions were appearing fairly often as of late. Perhaps it was only a premonition, a warning. Perhaps it was his fate… It no longer mattered. His course was set and it was too late to change it. Not even for…

 

Ren ripped his cloak from his shoulders and tugged his gloves off, throwing them haphazardly on the floor. No, it no longer mattered he told himself. The girl felt compassion for him but that’s as far as it went. The image of Rey and her pilot was engraved in his memory. He did not allude himself about her feelings.

 

He continued to remove the rest of his clothes on his way to the refresher, as if they burned his skin.

 

Reaching the sink, he turned on the cold water splashing his face and hair with it. But even that couldn’t wash away the feeling of dread that had taken residence in his heart. He closed the tap and looked up at the reflection in the mirror. The shadow staring back at him looked nothing like Kylo Ren the powerful Dark Lord and Supreme Leader of the First Order. No. The drawn face and terrified eyes did not belong to him. Nor did they belong to Ben Solo. As much as he hated his former self, fear was never associated with him either.

 

_I don’t know who I am anymore._

 

And that was scarier than any imminent death.

 

Kylo Ren stared long and hard at the stranger in the mirror, before rubbing his face in defeat and treading for his bed.

 

Mere hours remained until the _Finalizer_ dropped out of hyperspace and into orbit around Coruscant. Hours that he did not wish to spend alone. Maybe he shouldn’t have turned down Neesha’s offer for company after all. He raked his hands through his hair in frustration. Only it wasn’t his knight’s company that he ached for. Especially tonight.  

 

In a split moment of madness and desperation, he reached through space and systems of stars, grabbing at Rey’s essence and pulling himself next to her.

 

Literally next to her as he found himself curled on a bed, the girl he was searching for turned on her side facing away from him. The room surrounding them was enveloped in darkness. The only source of light was a fluorescent sign which blinked lazily outside a window, illuminating the shape of her face and bare shoulder. It didn’t take long for him to recognize the room she was staying in and figure out where she was.

 

Coruscant. His foolish girl was in Coruscant.

 

Ren smiled to himself. 

 

_She’s nuts._

 

 He carefully shifted closer to her, being extremely careful not to wake her. He fingered the blanket over her shoulder trying to cover her, but his movement light as it were startled her out of her sleep.

 

Rey should have leapt from bed instantly, but instead she turned her head to regard him before exhaling in what seemed like relief.

 

“How long have you been here?” She asked, sleep slurring her words.

 

“Not long,” he answered a moment later, as he studied the angles and shadows of her features. Her eyes had dark circles under them. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

 

She shifted her body to face him.

 

“It doesn’t matter. I barely sleep anyway,” she admitted, a little smile gracing her lips.

 

Ren hummed.

 

 _Me too_.

 

“You look tired. Why don’t you sleep?” He continued, concern surfacing before he could control it.  She probably wasn’t eating properly either.

 

“I could ask you the same thing,” she said, eyes roaming over his face.

 

He huffed, looking away. Her gaze was making him feel uncomfortable again.

 

“I told you not to come here,” he chastised her, but with no real heat behind his words. “What are you trying to prove?”

 

“And I promised that you would never be alone again.”

 

“You’re evading,” a smile tugged on a corner of his lips, which he desperately tried to suppress.

 

“I learned from the best,” she smiled cheekily, her eyes catching the little amount of light invading the room.

 

 _Stars, she has a beautiful smile_.

 

It lifted his heart and warmed his soul. How could he ever let go of her? An untamed feeling surged inside him as he snaked his hand under the blanket and around her waist.

 

“Rey,” he whispered in her ear.

 

He splayed his fingers on her back, enjoying the feeling of her skin under his fingertips. Bringing her body closer, he settled his face in her hair wishing he could inhale her scent. Rey’s eyes, lit up by an emotion he couldn’t place, searched for his and her breath fanned his face.

 

His touch on her skin turned into a grip as he stared at her lips, hunger rising deep inside him. Bringing her thigh over his, he nudged her legs apart.

 

_Ben._

 

Her thought throbbed in his mind.

 

And his treacherous body bucked in response.

 

_Don’t deny me this._

 

He demanded back, as a visceral instinct started enveloping his reason.

 

It could be easy. So easy to just tear away the layers of fabric between them and sink himself inside her. He wanted to ravish her like the monster he was, brand her and claim her as his, because Ren knew he would never see her again after tonight. She threaded her fingers through his hair tugging for him to look up.  Her gaze was vulnerable and soft and his chest melted at the sight.

 

_She is too good for me._

 

Phantom touches across a galaxy would never be enough to sate his need for her. She deserved better than that. She deserved better than a man who turned everything that he touched into ash. Why hadn’t he seen it until now?

 

His grasp slowly turned into a stroke. He trailed his fingers over the jut of her hipbone, down the curve of her waist and up the smoothness of her arm. Dipping into the crook of her neck, he felt her erratic heartbeat thrum its tempo on his fingertips and relished in its warmth. Carefully, he reached for an errant strand of hair and set it reverently behind her ear.

 

She watched him unmoving. Her warm bright eyes unfolding layers of himself he barely understood, and threatening to shed light on the darkest corners of his heart.

 

Leaning in, he set a kiss on her forehead, eyes shutting fiercely as he tried to hold back a surge of emotions about to erupt at the injustice of their universe. Or perhaps at the justice he deserved after all.

 

Her hand inched and touched his scarred cheek.

 

A crack broke the silence in the room and Rey turned in alarm to look at the fractured window.

 

Ren let go of the bond.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to explore Kylo's psyche can result in endless metas. I am only touching and deciphering parts of it for the sake of this story. And I don't believe that he would be immune to fear of a possible upcoming death. And with that in mind, stay with me for the next chapter. The invasion on Coruscant is coming up!


	11. Coruscant

Rey blinked at the thin sunlight streaming through her window, even though that was not the reason she had woken from her fretful sleep. It was that piercing sound that had brought her back to reality. She muttered a curse and threw her covers away in annoyance. That awful sound seemed to be coming from outside. Dragging herself to the window, she unlatched it and peeked outside.

 

The commotion surging through the streets hit her like a whirlwind and had her wide awake in an instance. That deafening sound was only spurring everyone on, as humanoids and all sorts of alien life forms filled the streets, carrying backpacks overstuffed with their posessions and clutching family members and friends tightly close to them.

 

A bang on the door made her practically leap in fright as Finn’s muffled voice demanded she opened the door.

 

_It’s the attack._

 

It was beginning.

 

She hurried for the door grabbing her boots and hopping around in an effort to put them on at the same time.

 

“Haven’t you heard the sirens?” a very alarmed Finn stumbled inside followed by Rose. They were both clothed, bags ready on their shoulders and faces befuddled at her pajama clad sight.

 

_Of course. Sirens_.

 

“Give me one second and I’m ready.”

 

“We might not have a second, judging by the number of Star Destroyers aligning outside the planet’s shields, Rey!” Finn exclaimed. “I can’t believe you overslept today of all days. Get moving, Nyxx will be waiting for us!”

 

One good thing Jakku had taught her was to always be ready to flee. Gathering herself in seconds was down to a reflex after years of practice and they were out the door in less than a minute.

 

The crowd nearly trampled them over, as they joined the current of screaming people heading for the underground shelters. It didn’t take long for them to be shoved apart by the panicked mass and soon enough Rey found herself completely separated from her friends.

 

“We all know what we have to do Rey,” she could hear Rose yell a few heads behind her. It was practically impossible to make eye contact with her friend, as she was squeezed and pushed around by the terrified crowd. “We’ve gone over the plan a hundred times. Finn and I will go and log in somewhere safe. Find Nyxx! Stop the slicer!” Rose went on, voice breaking from the effort it took to stay afloat in what seemed like a sea of running bodies.

 

Rey turned her head around wide-eyed just in time to avoid crashing against a pole. She gritted her teeth in determination, angling her body towards the side of the street in order to extricate herself from the suffocating bodies.

 

Find Nyxx.

 

_I can do this._

 

*

 

Kylo Ren stood gazing at Coruscant from the large viewport of the _Finalizer’s_ dark bridge, his heavy black cloak molding his figure to the ink of space before him. The low hum of the computer panels and the hushed voices of the officers were the only sounds, disrupting the silence of the bridge. He watched solemnly as the First Order’s fleet kept dropping out of hyperspace by the second, each ship taking its planned position over the planet’s atmosphere. Nothing stood between the Order and the capital planet except for its shields. And those wouldn’t last long.

 

Steps approached him, heels clicking on the pristine floor, which Ren immediately recognized as being Hux’s. The copper-haired General stood in position next to him, an air of arrogance shrouding his rigid frame.

 

“Their shields were up when we arrived and incoming reports state that they are already raising their fleet in defense,” Hux said, immaculately pronouncing his every word. Ren could feel his cold eyes trained on him, studying his reaction.

 

He continued his unblinking gaze out the viewport.

 

“It seems Coruscant had been warned,” General Hux continued, waiting for Ren to acknowledge the information.

 

“It will make no difference.”

 

“What are your orders, Supreme Leader?” Hux asked unable to hide his resent for his superior.

 

_If I don’t give the order, than he will_.

 

“Prepare the Dreadnought. Use it to blast the shield gates,” Ren clipped in his deep voice.

 

“Excellent choice, sir.” Hux’s agreement was dipped in sarcasm, but Kylo Ren no longer cared. He turned his hooded face to regard his General, steel eyes boring into his ice ones. Yes, he knew his time in the First Order was over, but he was a step ahead from his General and his plans.

 

“Alert my knights and prepare my command shuttle. They will be joining me on my surface mission. You, General, will have the _Finalizer_ ,” he ordered, his solemn gaze returning to Coruscant.

 

A moment passed before Hux withdrew his eyes from him and added dryly.

 

“Right away, sir.”

 

*

 

“Where the hell have you been?” Nyxx nearly howled at her the moment he saw Rey parting a group of ground soldiers with effort and running towards him. He jumped off his banged up hovercraft stalking in her direction. “We don’t have all day you know!”

 

“I know, I know…” she excused herself, tugging on her tethered jacket and patting her pockets to make sure nothing was missing. That crowd was vicious. Making her way out of the Lower Levels had turned out to be a marathon only made worse by the streams of people pulling her towards all sorts of directions. She pointed at the towering building behind Nyxx, eclipsing the sun. “Is this the first place we look for them?”

 

“Yeah, this is what used to be the Republic Communications Tower. It’s one of the most probable places they’d access,” he squinted along with her. “But there are many more to search after this. It’ll be like finding a needle in a haystack,” he added with a grumble.

 

“Do you think anyone will stop us for identification?” she commented, trying to seem non-challant. She was definitely not in the mood for pulling out her blaster and stunning random guards.

 

Nyxx snorted, setting his own blaster in his back pocket and covering it with his long trench coat.

 

“Probably, but we’ll try to ignore’em.”

 

_Well, that doesn’t sound very promising._

 

She shuffled her feet in discomfort. There was just too much ground to cover. They’d never make it. And how was she supposed to find Ben in this huge city. All of a sudden the mission in their hands seemed impossible, the bond tethering her to the man a heartbeat away, insufficient. Everything was just overwhelming.

 

Nyxx pierced her with his green eyes demanding her focus. “We have to remain quiet and quick in our search. Understand?  Don’t let your thoughts wonder. Aryn is like some fuckin’ master of disguise, he might be anywhere.”

 

Rey nodded and looked up at the enormous building casting its shadow over them. The weather was changing, she noticed. Grey clouds rolling in and wind picking up.

 

As if Coruscant could sense the approaching threat.

 

And then everything stilled.

 

The screams quieted, the air whipping her hair fell and an electrifying smell filled her nose. Like a lightning about to strike.

 

Blinding light filled the sky of Coruscant followed by a thunderous rubble. Electric bolts full of colors she never knew existed, exploded in the atmosphere and only seconds later high pitched engines screamed, raining from the sky.

 

They sounded very much like the ones Finn and her once heard on Jakku…

 

_Tie fighters!_

 

Rey couldn’t move as she and Nyxx remained frozen in their spots watching the numerous ships break through the atmosphere.

 

And was that a Star Destroyer that appeared on the horizon?

 

“We’re screwed,” she thought she heard Nyxx mumble next to her. He grabbed her arm and pulled looking at her with eyes wide. “Come on, we’ve got to find them.” But her eyes were glued to the sky and the incoming presence filling her senses.

 

_He’s here._

 

 *

Kylo Ren clenched his gloved fist as his command shuttle jerked again at yet another hit from one of Coruscant’s airfighters mounting a defense against the First Order.

 

“Sir, shields are still holding, but we must find a landing bay very soon,” one of the two pilots commandeering his _Ypsilon_ class shuttle said, frantically maneuvering between the blaster fire raining upon them.

 

“It doesn’t need to be a proper landing bay, just any flat surface will suffice and we’ll continue on foot,” Ren stated, his distorted mechanical voice coming through the new mask he was donning. He wasn’t as fond of it as the one he had crushed a few months back, but it would prove useful in filtering out the smoke and dust of the battleground. “There,” he said, helmet shifting under the shadow of his hood as he pointed to a low roof to the right of the shuttle.

 

“It will provide adequate cover as we exit the ship,” Neesha added next to him, leaning her slim frame to look through the viewport.

 

“Come,” Ren signaled for her to follow him to the back of the shuttle where a dozen Stormtroopers awaited, weapons in arm.

 

He stood first in line behind the shuttle’s ramp, his form rigid and slightly hunched in anticipation. Neesha and the rest of the Troopers were aligned behind him waiting for the ship to land.

 

He turned his head over his shoulder to study his knight, feeling curiosity spark behind her visor. Part of him wished he could convince her and Khol to join him once again in his attempt to extricate himself from the Order. But they were no longer driven by burning ideologies and non-questioning devotion. Somehow along the way each one of his knights had learned to fend for themselves. Ren faced away from her. Just because he had their support today, did not automatically mean he’d have it tomorrow.

 

_Or later in the day, for that matter_.

 

“Kylo?” Her concern drifted from her modulator.

 

He clamped down on his thoughts. This was not the proper time.

 

“Stay close to me,” was all he said.

 

 The shuttle rocked and jerked several more times before finally making ground. Mixed feelings of impatience, fear and apprehension surged his way from the men behind him, as the decompressing of the hydraulic valves bounced off the metal walls. The ramp lowered to the defeaning sound of blasters and explosions.

 

Kylo Ren lit his crossguard just in time to deflect fire aimed at him and his men. He jumped on the ground and crouched in his usual striking position, cloak swiveling around his heavy boots. He deflected more bolts and directed them at the soldiers across from him, providing enough time for his Stormtroopers to exit the shuttle and fall into formation.

 

Neesha was at his side instantly, working in tandem with him at cutting a path through the blasters, either with her lit crimson saber or the Force.

 

It was so easy to let the adrenaline and Darkness of the Force overcome his senses and turn him into the known killing machine everyone feared, but he savagely hung on to his initial purpose as he led the way down the building’s stairs and out to the rubbled street.

 

A Gorilla Walker was already razing a group of soldiers taking cover behind a crumpled wall. And a battalion of Stormtroopers was engaged in ruthless battle with Coruscant’s determined ground forces. Probably just one of the many pockets of combat taking place throughout the city. Ren signaled at his own Troopers to follow him as he fell in step in front the war machine, leading its deadly progression down the main street of the Senate District.

 

“We head towards the Senate Hall,” he informed Neesha over the roar of battle, as he rammed his blade through an unfortunate soldier who mastered the courage to attack him. “Our latest sources claim that the Governor is there and taking him into custody is our first priority.”

 

“Do you wish for me to join you?” Came her immediate reply.

 

Ren hesitated for a moment before nodding his assertion. Someone he could trust would have to be in charge of his troops while he logged into the capital’s systems and shut down the cyber virus.

 

“Yes, I might need your assistance. Valek, Thone and Khol are to arrest government and military officials elsewhere,” he answered back.

 

A burning shuttle grazed the air above them, causing everyone to snap their heads up in surprise. Its engines whirred and smoke trailed after its fatal course, as it went crashing into the plaza before them. It exploded instantly raining fire and metal all around and striking a chain reaction of blasts from a leaking fuel station nearby.

 

“Run!” He roared, pointing at the opposite direction of the swelling inferno approaching him and his troops at an alarming velocity.

 

_It’s moving too fast._

 

Kylo Ren stood his ground gritting his teeth and fisting his hands. His thoughts fleeted to Rey, worrying about the dangers that awaited her, but he reigned them in immediately. This would require his outmost concentration. He threw his hand out grasping viciously at the Force and bending it into a massive shield against the incoming flames. He watched as both friends and foes stumbled to take cover behind it, sensing their awe and fear at what seemed like an effortless display of his power.

 

Kylo Ren paid no attention to them, because grief had gripped his chest at the recognition of the shuttle. It belonged to Khol.

 

*

 

Rey halted under a partially collapsed ornate bridge, clutching at her chest. She was trying to slow down breaths that did not belong to her and alleviate sorrow that came from a man across town. She lowered herself to the ground, knees resting on fresh crisp grass and braced herself from the ancient carved stone of the bridge.

 

Nyxx stopped as well a few strides later, resting an arm on a nearby tree full of spring blooms and turning clever eyes to assess her condition. Behind him an immense domed building rose, made of stone, with intricate carvings decorating its exterior walls.

 

Rey slowly lay down, forehead touching the coolness of the grass and reached out for the serenity that surrounded her. There were a lot of things she couldn’t comprehend about the Force, but she had come to recognize the Light side and draw strength from it.

 

_Breathe… Just breathe…_

 

She had also come to appreciate her very first lesson about the Force given to her by Luke Skywalker in what felt like a lifetime ago.

 

_Now… reach out…_

 

And she did. Towards the man whose pounding heart made hers ache.

 

_Please be careful._

 

She tried to stifle her troubling thoughts and push a wave of Light to his aid. His focus was razor sharp in whatever task lay before him, and he only sent back a curt reply asking her to abandon the planet. But he seemed to accept the boost of energy she had supplied him with, begrudgingly.

 

Rey shook her head with a small smile and went on to show him the beautiful scenery splayed before her eyes. A feeling of warmth and longing returned from his end. Along with a name.

 

_The Old Jedi Temple_.

 

And a clipped order.

 

_Stay there. I will find you._

 

Rey huffed disentangling herself from the bond.

 

Nyxx was scanning the periphery with narrowed eyes, looking particularly troubled.

 

“This whole area to the right of the Temple has no power,” he remarked, pointing to scattered signs that should have been blinking.

 

Rey rose, still feeling rather drained and approached him with steps heavy as lead. Lending Ben energy had left her powerless to stand on her own two feet. She turned her head to study the buildings surrounding the park they were in. Nyxx was right.

 

“Perhaps some power grit was taken out,” she commented.

 

Nyxx shook his head.

 

“Or…”

 

They locked eyes. An understanding passing between them.

 

And then an unimaginable scene unfolded before them. Aircrafts began falling from the sky. Countless unscathed aircrafts started dropping for no apparent reason and crashing inevitably into the city. All of them painted in Coruscant’s colors.

 

Rey felt her blood turn cold at the realization.

 

“The virus,” she heard Nyxx whisper next to her in horror. “Aryn and Clance have unleashed the virus.”

 

* 

 

_No._

 

It was happening already.

 

_Too soon._

 

Kylo Ren stood outside the Senate Hall eyes pinned on the tumbling aircrafts. He had to hurry before Coruscant’s defenses were completely obliterated.

 

He stormed inside the building with Neesha on his side and followed by his selected Stormtroopers. As expected, a respectable number of Coruscant’s soldiers supported by the building’s guards had already taken position within, weapons drawn and ready for them. Blaster fire welcomed him and his Stormtroopers the moment they stepped foot on the polished marble floor of the massive entry hall. Ren threw his hand out, instantly freezing the bolts midair, while Neesha yanked the weapons away from their sluggish hands.

 

Obviously these men hadn’t come across a proper battle in ages.

 

He slowly made his way amongst the suspended fire towards the officer that seemed to be in charge. The knight’s broad stygian form loomed ominously over the man, who looked him over in what Ren felt like disdain, before spitting at his bloody boots. Kylo Ren instinctively reached for the officer’s throat holding it in a tight squeeze, his crimson crossguard spattering its fury next to him.

 

“The governor. Where is he?” He asked, barely containing his grip from crushing the man’s windpipe.

 

The officer clawed at Ren’s outstretched arm and narrowed his eyes in contempt.

 

“Go to hell!” He rasped back.

 

Not the answer he was expecting.

 

_Ok, enough playing nice._

 

Kylo Ren hurled the man to the closest wall. His body hit it with a loud thump and slid on the marble floor. Two soldiers made a move to intercept Ren, but were casually flung aside by Neesha. He clenched his jaw as he approached the man’s slumped form with heavy steps. He crouched before him, head slightly tilted to the side and extended his hand prying at his victim’s mind.

 

“Where is the governor?” He repeated, the modulator distorting the anger in his voice to a blood-chilling sound. Aggravation had started rising in his chest at the man’s stubbornness. But the officer refused to reply. With a tug of his fingers he started tearing the information he needed from the officer’s memory, as the man screamed in excruciating pain. The soldiers watched, eyes wide with terror, the display of power of the so called Force. Up until then it had been nothing more but legends and tales.

 

Kylo Ren stepped back a few agonizing moments later releasing his hold on the man.

 

“Follow me,” he ordered his troops as he made his way deeper inside the building in search of the governor and an access to the capital’s databanks.

 

* 

 

Hux crossed the elevated platform dividing the computer stations of the _Finalizer’s_ bridge, towards the large viewport overlooking the siege of Coruscant. The emptiness of space was now filled to the brim by Star Destroyers and what remained of the capital’s fleet and were viciously exchanging fire above the restless planet. He scowled at the sight, turned and paced back to the door of the bridge, his footsteps clipped in his usual impatient stride. Coruscant’s defenses had proven to be a lot harder to bend than initially expected. It was a good thing the cyber virus had started taking effect.

 

He turned yet again, his hands clasped tightly behind his stiff body and resumed his march down the platform. Kylo Ren was currently planet bound along with all his knights. It was the opportunity Valek and he had been waiting for in months. Hux was very much aware that there was no love lost between himself and the rest of the First Order High Officers, but Kylo Ren’s recent behavior had everyone grumbling in irritation about their Supreme Leader’s inadequacy. Their fear of the Dark leader’s temper being the only thing that kept them in check. Valek had told him that he was willing to take out Kylo Ren, but his murder would have only been an excuse for further uprising amongst the chain of command.

 

Hux scrunched his nose at the planet.

 

Not to mention that Valek had a good chance at failing. And Ren would trace the attempt back to him.

 

_Damn Force users._

 

He glared icily at the capital city.

 

It would have to be done now, veiled by the battle underfoot.

 

“Contact Valek, the Knight of Ren. I want a secure connection in my office,” he commanded a junior officer at the closest workstation and made his way to his private room.

 

The door hissed shut behind him, silencing that incessant beeping and blinking of the bridge. He allowed himself to plop down on his chair by the desk. He ran his fingers through his perfectly combed strands and rubbed his temples.

 

Hux had to tread carefully if he were to succeed in eliminating Kylo Ren. And along with him, the rest of the knights as well. Yes. It was time to let Valek face his Master in their insignificant dispute over succession.

 

_Let the hounds bite and tear at each other to the death._

 

Hux had control of the flagship _Finalizer_ and Phasma had the Dreadnought along with the Stormtroopers’ allegiance. His position as the next Supreme Leader couldn’t be more secure.

 

His eyes glinted.

 

“Sir, the Knight of Ren is on line,” his officer’s voice through the com link startled him from his reverie.

 

“Put him through,” he replied, swiveling in his seat to stare out the small viewport of his office.

 

“General,” the knight’s voice boomed inside the room. Hux didn’t miss on the slight sarcasm that always tinged the man’s voice. It grated on his skin. Indeed, he would be glad to see him gone.

 

“The objective of your mission has changed,” Hux stated calmly. “You are to proceed according to the plans we have discussed in the past. This is the moment you have been waiting for. Do not fail me.”

 

A pause filled with blasting sounds on the background stretched for a moment or two before the knight answered back, his voice barely containing his satisfaction.

 

“I won’t, General. Send me his coordinates.”

 

“Transmitting them, now,” Hux typed his directions on his holopad before shutting down the line. His heart was pounding in his chest.

 

_Finally._

 

A knock on the door made him jump once more and his hands gripped the arms of his chair with white knuckles. He’d end up with a heart attack by the end of the day.

 

“Come in,” he snapped, trying to get his over excited emotions under control.

 

The junior officer walked in, wearing a squeamish expression that Hux immediately did not like.

 

“S…Sir,” he stuttered. “Numerous ships have just dropped out of hyperspace and in orbit around Coruscant. We just received a message stating that General Organa sends her regards.”

 

Hux’s eyes widened.

 

_The bloody Resistance._

 

This was not good.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to insert Kylo Ren as we first met him and fell in love with him in the story. I couldn't help myself!


	12. Help unforseen

Aryn watched the girl tread down the street veering clear from Stormtroopers combing the streets. One more combat had taken place a few corners down the road between a group of Coruscant’s militia taking cover behind makeshift walls and a battalion of Stormtroopers, ending with the former being practically wiped out.

 

Not too many people roamed the streets anymore, most of them being either underground or hiding in whatever buildings were still intact. A child wailed from a broken window nearby, but was quickly muffled by a shushing mother.

 

He had been aware of her presence and that of her partner’s ever since he exited the Ministry of Defense. Clance was no longer hindering his movements as he had… disposed of her after inserting the virus on Coruscant’s systems. So following the Jedi and waiting for the proper moment to intercept her had just been a matter of time.

 

Aryn got up from his seated position and slowly limped in the girl’s direction. Dressed in bloody tethered clothes and a roughly bandaged head, he made sure to cloak his Force signature as carefully as he could, before approaching her. She didn’t seem to pay attention to his presence as she stood at a corner of the Intelligence Headquarters waiting for someone.

 

 Valek’s orders had been clear. Kill the Jedi girl.

 

He regarded her impassively as she shifted her attention towards him. But her eyes overlooked him and continued scanning the perimeter. Normally, Aryn wouldn’t have bothered obeying Valek’s wishes, but when he accidentally came across her at the market the other day, he felt a very familiar relic pulsing from her. Snoke’s black kyber crystal. And he _wanted_ it.

 

He caressed the dagger in his pocket and kept his mind empty as he came to stand next to her. The girl’s hazel bright eyes turned to look at him in sympathy.

 

“Excuse me, miss…Would you have a drink of water on you?”

 

Aryn could count the freckles on her cheeks as the Jedi smiled at him and bent over her bag in search of a bottle.

 

Footsteps were heard from around the corner, approaching quickly and he glanced just in time to see the girl’s partner walking up to them. The man’s green eyes went wide at the sight of Aryn and they both remained completely frozen for the span of a breath. 

 

_Nyxx._

 

“Here’s your water,” the girl had already stood up offering him a bottle and looking over at Nyxx in confusion.

 

“Aryn?” The former knight muttered in disbelief.

 

The Jedi snapped her attention back to him. Knitting her brows.

 

Aryn stepped back a couple of paces, quickly reassessing his position. The element of surprise had just evaporated and an unpredictable factor had inserted itself in the situation. Nyxx was not someone to be taken lightly.

 

The Jedi was in luck.

 

Aryn turned around sprinting away from them just as he heard the familiar hiss of a lightsaber being ignited.

 

He could hear them breaking into a run behind him and he quickly turned the next corner, nearly slipping on a puddle of blood from the strewn bodies on the street. He removed his bandage and tethered overcoat and slipped into an open door of a building, efficiently clamping down on his Force signature.

 

Their running steps slowed down on the street outside as they obviously lost sight of him. Muttered voices floated to his ears and Nyxx cursed loudly. Aryn held his breath.

 

 Soon enough they walked away, but he remained in his crouched position under a desk for a few minutes longer.

 

Valek would not be happy to know that Nyxx was here and involved with the Resistance. There was no reason for Aryn to go against his plans to overthrow Kylo Ren, for now. All the knights had been able to sense a shift in the Force around their Master and his recent questionable decisions had raised a lot of suspicions.

 

Aryn moved silently around the room he was hidden in, cleaning up his appearance before trying on a new clean coat he found laying on an armchair. He approached a mirror taking in his new simple civilian disguise. Not his best work but it would have to be enough.

 

He decided to take out his comlink and inform Valek. Staying with the Order was the best decision for the time being and perhaps, if he were patient enough, he could eventually get his hands on Snoke’s crystal. But there was no reason for Valek to know anything about that.

 

*

 

Leia stared at the debris floating around what once was a shield gate. A couple of Star Destroyers had already entered the upper level of the planet’s atmosphere surrounded by transporters and TIE fighters. But something seemed to be amiss.  Where was Coruscant’s fleet? Apart from a few ships exchanging fire further away there didn’t seem to be much of a defense.

 

Leia’s face darkened.

 

She turned to study the Dreadnought, looming like a beast over the capital. If it were to fire on the planet, it would create havoc down there. They would have to concentrate on taking it out first.

 

The ships she had brought into battle were not many, but Chandrila’s help had boosted them up to eight starships and three bombers. Enough to cause some trouble. But not nearly as many to properly challenge the First Order’s entire fleet.

 

“Mr. Dameron aren’t you supposed to be on the helm of the _Titan’s_ bridge? What are you doing prancing about in an X-wing?” she said over the intercom.

 

A little static came through before Poe’s amused voice answered back.

 

“Well, you know, BB-8 wouldn’t let me hear the end of it if I were to let another pilot fly its X-wing. Besides, you know I can do more damage out here.”

 

Leia shook her head hiding a smile behind her clasped hands.

 

“What’s your plan?”

 

“The usual. Permission to blow up a Dreadnought?”

 

“Permission granted. You have its blueprints. Disable the Dreadnought since you seem to be so experienced in the matter.  We’ll handle the Star Destroyers.”

 

Leia shut the transmission and swiveled in her seat to look at the lieutenant across the bridge. Connix was devouring a report on her holopad, brows ominously furrowed. She got off her seat and approached the young officer with the help of her cane. Maker, did she miss the agility of her younger years. But not the impatience or hot headedness of them. She diligently waited for the girl to finish reading before she spoke.

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“There are reports from surface stating that parts of the capital are without power,” Connix said. “There are man to man combats taking place in its streets. Coruscant’s air defense and fleet however…” Connix shook her head and pressed her lips before continuing. “Their military airports and navigation systems are non-functional, General. It must be…"

 

“It must be the cyber virus,” Leia nodded solemnly.

 

_They were not able to stop it._

 

“But communications are obviously still operational,” Connix added as she looked up at her General.

 

“For now.”

 

Leia had hoped so fiercely that her team would be able to intercept the slicer and stop her. Now they were stuck on a crumpling planet with no definite means of escape. She could only wish they would find Chewbacca amongst the chaos and flee onboard the _Falcon_. And maybe Ben…

 

_Ben…Maybe he’d…_

 

Leia sighed feeling the weight of reality trample over her hopes. She shut her eyes and reached out for that part of the Force resembling a maelstrom that she knew belonged to her son. She so wished to caress its edges like she once caressed his soft hair, but making her presence known would only make things worse.

 

Leia opened her eyes to an expectant Connix.  Gathering her thoughts, her gaze sharpened with purpose.

 

“Contact the _Cassandra_ , we will need its aid in our effort to take out the First Order’s flagship. That is where General Hux is stationed.” Leia commanded. “We will concentrate our fire on the port and starboard of the ship simultaneously. They will eventually have to enhance their shields there, leaving the stern vulnerable. It will be our chance to hit it then and hopefully breach its haul,” she explained.

 

“Their Star Destroyers will not allow us to bring it down. We don’t have many ships to…”

 

“I’m aware of that but there is no point in shooting blindly. We concentrate on the _Finalizer_ ,” Leia’s decision was made.

 

Connix’s eyes grew wide and her mouth opened to unuttered sound. The young woman seemed to be staring at the viewport behind her.

 

Leia turned bewildered to a sight she never thought she’d live to see again.

 

Ships of all shapes and sizes kept appearing around Coruscant. Numerous ships. Countless. Dropping out of hyperspace and filling an already crowded orbit.

 

“General Organa,” an officer stammered next to her. “Naboo’s flagship the _Cadence_ is hailing us. Along with ships from Eufornis, Plexis, Duro and many others!” The officer leapt from his chair wrenching off his headpiece and handing it to Leia with a wide smile. “Naboo’s new Queen wishes to speak to you.”

 

_Good heavens_.

 

Leia felt her knees go weak. She reached for the empty chair next to her and dropped on it, her grey gown splaying over it in an unfashionable way.

 

“Well, what are you waiting for? Put her through.”

 

*

 

Kylo Ren cursed under his breath. This was proving to be a lot more difficult than he initially thought it would be.

 

He was locked for some time now, inside in the governor’s office which had access to all of Coruscant’s systems. He had given strict orders not to be interrupted as Neesha swept the building with the Stormtroopers, taking into custody higher officials and eliminating threats.

 

His fingers flew on the holoprojection in front of him, opening and scanning every system in this damn planetfor the cyber virus that Clance and Aryn had released, and stopping its progress with his codes. Which so far seemed to work. But seemed to also take up a lot of time.

 

It was unsettling to see how far it had already spread. Coruscant’s ground and air defense systems were wiped out, navigations as well and it was currently affecting tranports. Power was out on a lot of sectors of the planet and their central banking systems were failing. So far communications were still functional and he made sure they remained that way.

 

Ren huffed, whipping his helmet from his head and removing his gloves. He ran his fingers through his matted sweaty strands pushing them away from his face with irritation.

 

It had started to spread to medical units.

 

_Damn._

 

He really hoped his mother was around orbit somewhere causing her usual trouble to the First Order fleet, otherwise there was no point to any of this.

 

A knock came from the door followed by a hissing sound, as Neesha easily overrode it. The governor was standing next to her in cuffs, a little roughed up but alive.

 

She slowly walked up to him her leather outfit cricking as she approached, studying his movements with a keen eye. The door shut behind her and locked, as the governor stared at it warily.

 

“What are you doing?” She asked removing her helmet.

 

Kylo Ren did not glance her way, eyes trained at his task at hand.

 

“The less you know the better it is. Leave. The governor stays under my watch.”

 

She remained quiet for a few moments. Her eyes hopping along with his fingers on the holoprojection.

 

“Kylo,” her voice warned. “Tell me this isn’t what I thing you’re doing. Why are you wiping away the virus from the planet’s systems.”

 

The governor’s head snapped to look at Ren in surprise.

 

Ren slowed down his movements as he looked up at the woman, gritting his jaw.

 

_Do I tell her?_

 

“I am stopping the virus and hopefully the invasion. General Organa knows of the attack and has gathered reinforces as we speak to fight along with Coruscant.” Or so he hoped. He took in a long breath before continuing. “I will no longer be part of the First Order, Neesha. I am doing this and disappearing from the Known regions.”

 

Neesha stared at him lips parted in shock.

 

“I am not asking you to join me again. I am only asking you to let me go. I want my freedom,” he continued staring at her intensely.

 

She remained silent for a few moments, which proved to be enough time for Ren to finish his task. He shut the holoprojector, before turning to the governor.

 

“You are coming with me.”

 

Neesha’s eyes hardened and she shifted her stance to an aggressive form.

 

“I can’t let you do this,” she informed him lighting her crimson saber.

 

Ren nodded in acceptance as he drew his crossguard and lit up its sputtering blades.

 

“So be it.”

 

*

 

Valek stomped up the white marble steps of the Senate Hall. The day he had been waiting for had at last arrived. He would drive his sword through that highbrow privileged knight’s heart and watch him squirm and beg for mercy. It would be divine.

 

Thone was following right behind him, along with two battalions of Stormtroopers. Nobody could stop him. He would use them as a firing squad if need be.

 

He looked around at the colossal building stretching endlessly on both sides, sleek and simple in its magnificence. Its grounds were covered in neatly trimmed gazeebo shaded by ancient trees and blooming flowers. It’s a shame the city would soon turn into rubbles, once the Dreadnought started its work. Perhaps he could convince Hux to reconsider. This Hall would be perfect as the emperor’s mansion.

 

_My mansion._

 

He smirked under his helmet.

 

_All in good time_.

 

He shouldn’t get ahead of himself.

 

And where was Aryn? He was supposed to lure that Jedi wannabe and his treacherous brother to the Hall.

 

His eye caught a shifting shadow behind one of the grand columns at the top of the stairs.

 

_How did this civilian get here?_

 

But Valek sensed the man drop a veil in the Force and immediately recognized Aryn. His ability in hiding never seized to amaze him. And unsettle him.

 

“Where are they?” Valek growled impatiently.

 

Aryn regarded him with those unreadable slanted eyes of his, the composed expression on his face never faltering.

 

“They will be here soon. Come, Neesha is already engaged in combat with our Master.”

 

Valek snorted in disdain. So she had decided to turn against Kylo Ren as well. About time.

 

He pushed open the heavy doors with the Force, drawing out his double edged saber and lighting up both ends of it.

 

*

 

He really did not wish to hurt her, but time was essential and Neesha was slowing him down. He had promised Rey he’d find her at the Old Jedi Temple and he should have left a while ago, but that cyber virus had taken too long to eradicate.

 

Ren Force pushed Neesha away from him as a particularly vicious strike came too close to his leg.

 

Rey was anxious. He could sense her impatience and irritation on the outskirts of his mind, like a constant fluttering of wings. He longed to reach out and feel her essence. Even just a brush against her gave him the strength he needed to rearrange the damn stars. But she was too distracting. And he was acting like a lovesick fool.

 

He brought down his crossguard in one of his rattling strikes, that Neesha was able to parry, but lost ground and fell to her knees.

 

He really did not want to kill her.

 

“Drop your sword, Neesha. Just let me go.”

 

Hit after slash and push after parry, they had taken their fight to one of the high ceiling corridors, stretching from one end of the building to the other. Its walls were decorated in striking detail with Coruscant’s history and tall elegant windows overlooked the capital’s fall.

 

_She’s so stubborn. Why won’t she let me go._

 

“You’re making a mistake, Kylo! Can’t you see that?” She screamed at him, eyes burning. “Is it true? Is what Valek said true?"

 

_Valek?_

 

_What?_

 

“Are you leaving because of the Jedi girl?” She hissed as she aimed a blow to his right knee, causing him to stagger away. Neesha had anticipated his move, and she Force pulled him to the floor. His saber got knocked off his hand and she stepped up to him with tears in her eyes, tresses of her blond hair falling off from her ponytail. She brought the tip of her blade to his neck.

 

_How the hell do women do that?_

 

“Are you in love with her?’ She whispered, her voice too thick with emotion to come out clear.

 

Ren felt his jaw drop. His mind went numb. He wanted to reply. Needed to say something back, but his brain was too befuddled to process a coherent thought.

 

“Well, well…” a voice snickered and steps were heard entering the long corridor. Ren wanted to turn and glare at the man it belonged to, but her saber had him nailed to the floor.

 

“It seems like we interrupted a lover’s spat,” it continued with sarcasm. “Too bad it will have to come to an abrupt end.”

 

 Hissing sounds followed the words and the familiar buzzing of lightsabers echoed down the corridor. Multiple lightsabers.

 

_Valek is not alone._

 

“Neesha, please…” he locked eyes with his knight, part of him tugging on that string of feelings she nurtured for him, pleading to release her hold on him. He could feel their heavy steps reverberate on the floor.

 

_Please…_

 

It seemed like an eon passed, before she withdrew her saber from his throat and stepped back, eyeing the approaching knights icily. She remained silent and her sword remained lit.

 

Kylo Ren was back on his feet instantly.

 

He called his crossguard to his hand, feeling Thone’s attempt in the Force to stop him. But he wasn’t strong enough. Ren twirled his saber in front of him as its blades were unleashed. He glanced at Neesha from the corner of his eye.

 

“If you side with this traitor, then you die with him!” Valek seethed between clentched teeth. But Neesha stood her ground narrowing her eyes at him.

 

 Valek roared. He hurled himself at Kylo Ren in a high jump aided by the Force bringing down his saber on a side slash aiming for decapitation. Ren quickly avoided it, his own weapon arching in the air and gaining momentum before landing heavily on Valek’s. The two men eyed each other as they both gathered the Force around them and unleashed it on their interlocked weapons in a battle of strength.

 

Valek’s brow beaded with sweat as Kylo Ren’s strength made his arms tremble from exertion. He slipped away with a defensive move he hadn’t used in a long time and signaled for the other two knights to join. Thone was intercepted by Neesha, but Aryn swiftly moved behind Ren bringing a calculative blow toward his thigh. Ren barely evaded it as Valek striked at his chest. Ren twisted bringing his elbow down on Valek’s back, while parrying another hit from Aryn.

 

Fighting with them and along side them wasn’t new. They had been training together and battling next to each other for years. Their moves were mostly anticipated. So it wouldn’t be a combat of skills or strength. It would be one of stamina. His knights were attempting to tire him and make him lose focus.

 

The fight moved on to an adjoining hall, as the five knights brutally tore at each other their sabers carving marble floors and splitting ornate walls.

 

Half a dozen Stormtroopers escorting a bunch of prisoners entered the area and halted in their tracks at the sight of the lethal brawl between the Dark Force users.

 

Kylo Ren tore a statue adorning the entrance of the hall with the Force, shoving it at Valek, who stopped it midair.

 

The Stormtrooper in charge quickly signaled at his men to backtrack to another corridor as the prisoners gaped at the fighting knights.

 

The surroundings did not match the ones in his vision, Ren noticed, as he skidded on the waxed floor. So there was no way he would leave his last breath staring at a chandeliered ceiling.

 

He twirled his sword parrying a hit aimed at his back and then brought his weapon forth, grasping it with both hands in an offensive strike against Valek.

 

_Where would it be then?_

 

Ren gritted his teeth. He could taste blood from a gash on the top of his forehead and one of Valek’s slashes had wounded his good arm. The knight, he noticed, was limping. He would have to use that to his advantage.

 

He was about to attack Valek with his wounded arm, when he felt Aryn’s hands grasp and bend it unnaturally behind his back. Pain electrified his senses and he quickly harnessed it, thrusting Valek away from him with the Force. Aryn kicked his knee, bringing him on the floor.

 

That’s when he noticed Neesha’s limb form a little further away from him.

 

_Is she…_

 

 Ren hadn’t felt her death. She must be unconscious. He pinned Valek on the wall across from him with the Force, as he made to rise back on his feet, but he found himself unable to move. Thone was now looming on his side, his grip stretched out in his direction.

 

Aryn’s fingers grasped his hair, viciously pulling his head back and exposing his throat. His instincts kicked in as he desperately tried to break free from the hold his two knights had him in. He could feel his grasp on Valek slipping. The knight would soon break free.

 

_I won’t see her again._

 

A thought suddenly took root in his mind dispersing his focus.

 

_I won’t see Rey again._

 

_She’s waiting for me and…_

 

He felt panic run through his veins as Valek tore himself from the wall, throwing his arm at Ren and adding a third chain to his restraints.

 

_And my mother…_

 

He clawed at the Force searching for a familiar feeling he could use as a tool. Rage. Hate. Pain. But none of them were there.

 

*

 

She ran.

 

Jumping over stones and rubbles.

 

Heart thudding in her chest and lightsaber buzzing in her hand.

 

Crossing narrow streets and green parks.

 

She ran like she had never run before in her life.

 

Because she felt _his_ life depend on the pounding of her legs on the ground underneath.

 

Rey followed the bond tethering her to the man now on his knees, a flash of a red blade filling his vision.

 

She ran and he fought to keep the saber at bay.

 

_I’m coming…_

 

_Hold on_.

 

Her feet stumbled over marble steps, her blue blade slicing the chiseled stone next to her. She gritted her teeth and swore, pushing herself up and making her way up the last few steps to the gaping doors of the Senate Hall.

 

She vaguely noticed at least a dozen Stormtroopers in the entrance hall reaching for their weapons at the sight of her, and men dressed in civilian clothes rise up in an attempt to escape.

 

He wasn’t here. His presence was further in.

 

Rey could feel his panic overwhelm her senses, as it fought for release, cinching the skin close to her heart.

 

A struggling roar reached her ears right when she turned a corner to enter a massive hall.

 

The sight she met before her froze her blood.

 

_No. Stop_!

 

Rey threw her right hand out gathering the Force.

 

Τhe burning sensation over her beating heart was distracting her and she lifted her left palm to rub at it.

 

_The kyber crystal._

 

She fisted it in desperation.

 

The air inside the room snapped and crackled. The knights turned to look at her. And then it happened.

 

Blue streaks of light, like lightning sizzled from her splayed fingers attacking the men holding down Kylo Ren. The light electrified them, tossing them away from him in a smoking pile across the hall.

 

Ren slowly rose to his feet calling his saber to him and staring at her, eyes wide with astonishment. Her saber slipped through her fingers and clanked on the floor.

 

_I’ve seen this look on his face before._

 

She realized.

 

A long time ago. In a dark forest.

 

He hesitantly took a step towards her, but she was too shocked to reciprocate. His steps sped up, turning into long strides as he closed the distance between them. He invaded her space, clasping her head in his large hands and gazing hungrily at her.

 

“I don’t know how I did that,” was all she could think to stutter.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” he breathed, eyes roaming over her face.

 

Rey brought her hands up to cup his.

 

“They were going to kill you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“I stopped them.”

 

“You did.”

 

Ren slowly rested his forehead on hers. The coolness of his touch soothing her flamed face.

 

“What was that?” She asked in a drowning voice. Her eyes were burning.

 

“Force lightning,” he answered softly.

 

“Can you do that?”

 

“No.”

 

_Why not?_

 

“It’s a Dark skill owned by the Sith. And I am not Sith. No matter how much I’ve tried,” he let an impression of a chuckle escape him.

 

A feeling akin to amusement caressed her senses as his lips touched the side of her mouth.

 

_Don’t pull away._

 

His thought brushed her mind.

 

And then his lips found hers tenderly. They were cool against hers, as they settled for a moment sucking on her warmth. Then they parted as if brought to life and demanded more. She inhaled, blood and sweat and leather filling her nostrils, mixed with a distinct scent that tempted her to seek for a taste. His right hand grasped the back of her head, fingers tangling in her long tresses and his left one came to rest on the small of her back anchoring her firmly to his body.

 

Her senses were overwhelmed by him and the bond stretching between them, flooded with a torrent of consuming emotions. It felt so right when she wrapped her arms around his neck, succumbing to a will that was beyond their power to resist.  He groaned hungrily against her lips and delved deeper, his desperation and need becoming hers as the bond engulfed them.

 

 Rey could no longer feel where she ended and he began. And it hurt and felt glorious at the same time.

 

 His lips broke away from hers for breath and she looked up to a fervent gaze promising her the world she had so adamantly turned down so many times in the past. But it had never been galaxies and stars that she wanted, to begin with.

 

_Rey… I…_

 

His hesitation quivered against her mind, but he quickly reigned in his thought and angled to capture her lips once more.

 

Rushing footsteps, coming to a screeching skid outside the door tore them apart. Ren instinctively ignited his saber, as they both turned to look at a panting Nyxx emerge through the entrance.

 

 He huffed and scanned the room, resting an arm on the doorway.

 

“What did I miss?”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small reprieve for our babies coming up before things start going downhill again. Let me know what you think!


	13. Hope

This was turning out to be one of the worst days of his life. His cantina had been blown to smithereens, according to a Twylek customer he had bumped into on his way to the Senate Hall. He had lost his blaster through his patched up pocket and now he was coming to realize that he was out of shape, and apart from quitting on his smokes, he also had to start jogging or something close to that. Maybe go back to some of those Jedi training forms he used to despise.

 

Nyxx took in a couple of deep breaths and looked around the room. A few bodies were strewn on the floor and hacking marks decorated the walls and marble floor. What a mess. And was that a broken statue on the floor? Where did its head go?

 

_And what the hell happened here?_

 

Ben and Rey were staring at him funnily, but who cared anyway.

 

“What did I miss?”

 

“How the hell did you get here?” Ben frowned, as whatever haze he was in dissipated, and recognition flickered in his eyes.

 

“Hey, Ben.”

 

“He’s with me,” Rey stepped in to inform him, looking up at Ben sweetly with a small smile.

 

But his buffoon of a friend was already getting worked up.

 

“You two know each other?” he spat incredulous, his emotions spiking in the blink of an eye.

 

“He works for Leia.”

 

_Crap_.

 

Maybe Rey shouldn’t have said that.

 

Ben turned, wearing one of the most thunderous expressions on his face that Nyxx had ever seen. This guy always took things way too seriously.

 

He stormed up to him, working his jaw and clenching his fists.

 

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t punch you in the face now, Nyxx. And don’t you dare say because you’re my friend.”

 

“I’ve been looking after your girl.”

 

_That should do it._

 

Ben blinked, taken aback for a moment, before staring daggers at him again.

 

“Did you make a move on her?”

 

He swiveled to stare at Rey, who was looking at them like they were the oddest two people in the galaxy. Which wasn’t far from the truth. “Did he make you feel uncomfortable in any way?” He asked incensed, pointing a thumb back in Nyxx’s direction.

 

“Will you relax? No. It’s just Nyxx. Apart from a headache because of his ceaseless chattering, he’s never done anything to hurt me. He’s actually helped me out a great deal.”

 

_Thank you very much_.

 

Ben slid a suspicious eye in his direction contemplating her words, before nodding grumpily in acceptance. “When this is all over, you and I have some talking to do,” he added with a glare.

 

Leave it to Ben to never drop a single misconception. So he had never mentioned spying for Leia. It was his mother, for Maker’s sake. What was the big deal?

 

Nyxx sighed.

 

 “Come on, we have to go,” Rey said, reaching for Ben’s sleeve and tugging on it.

 

“Wait,” Ben stilled her, grabbing her forearm. “I can’t leave Neesha behind. If one of them wakes up first, they’ll kill her.”

 

_Neesha?_

 

“Who’s Neesha?” Rey pouted.

 

“One of my knights,” he answered as he stepped further into the room, looking for her body. “She helped me in the fight against the others.”

 

Nyxx shifted his eyes at a stirring form at the other side of the room, recognizing who the figures laying before him were.

 

“I suggest we hurry then, ‘cause we won’t be gettin’far.” Nyxx pointed at a platinum head amidst the black clothed knights.

 

All three broke into a trod, heading towards the woman’s body. She seemed to be regaining consciousness.

 

Nyxx stepped over Aryn’s body, tugging his saber from his limp grasp and patting his overcoat in search of a blaster. He switched on the lightsaber, studying the smooth red blade and circled it once in the air. It had a good balance. He turned it off and shrugged, pocketing the two weapons. No one ever knew when they could come handy.

 

“I’m contacting Finn and Chewbacca,” Rey stated as she stepped over the broken statue. “We can take the _Millenium Falcon_ out of here.”

 

Ben came to an abrupt stop.

 

“No way.”

 

Rey turned and glared at him.

 

“We don’t have the luxury to pick a transport!” She raised her voice at him. “We need to get off this planet, now!”

 

Movement caught Nyxx’s eye.

 

“I am not running to the bloody Resistance,” Ben dug in.

 

“What do you mean?” Rey stepped closer to him. “Your mother is waiting for you. Where else would you go?”

 

“Anywhere in the galaxy, except back to her.” He shook his head, pressing his lips together stubbornly.

 

“Are you serious? What ever happened to letting go of the past?”

 

“It definitely does not apply on my mother.”

 

She huffed crossing her arms in front of her chest. “You need to get over yourself!”

 

“I need to stay alive, is what I need!” He leaned in, bringing his heating face directly in front of hers.

 

“You’re just too scared to face her!”

 

“Too scared to face…” Ben parroted, steam practically coming out of his ears. “You know what? You presume too many things about me.”

 

Nyxx could swear that was Valek moving around.

 

“You have helped us this far, the Resistance will take that into consideration. And your mother is the General, she’ll tell them what to do.” Rey’s lack of conviction made her protest sound almost amusing.

 

“She’ll be the one to order my execution when the time comes. Or have you forgotten who I am and what I’ve done,” Ren snapped, enunciating his every word.

 

Nyxx scratched his goatee. That was definitely Valek’s leg bending.

 

“Guys…”

 

“I’ll testify or swear that you helped us. Or…” she sniffed as her eyes turned misty. She brought the back of her hand to rub at her nose and looked away from Ben. His friend deflated and came to stand directly in front of her, setting a couple of fingers under her chin tenderly and lifting her face to look at him.

 

“Rey, if I go back there I’m a dead man,” he explained to her softly.

 

They gazed at each other.

 

Nyxx rolled his eyes.

 

“Ok, lil’ lovebirds. Hate to break whatever this is, but we need to _run,”_ he pointed a thumb at the direction of the waking knights.

 

They simultaneously twisted their heads to look at the shifting men. They settled Neesha on top of Ben’s shoulders, because no way was Nyxx lifting her. He could barely drag himself across town, he conceded. She had grown muscles during these past few years, Nyxx couldn’t help but notice, and she didn’t exactly seem feather light.

 

 Rey carefully looked outside the hall for incoming Stormtroopers and signaled for them to follow her.

 

Nyxx glanced over his shoulder at his younger brother, as he was about to exit the room.  His eyes remained trained on him for a long moment, nails digging into the wood panel of the door. He shook his head and stepped out with a heavy heart.

 

 *

 

Rey couldn’t help herself steeling glances at the beautiful woman sitting with her back to a wall and cradling her head in her hands. Ben was kneeling next to her threading his fingers through her blond tresses inspecting the wound that seemed to be bleeding still.

 

Nyxx was keeping watch at the entrance of the small room as footsteps came and went outside in the familiar march of Stormtroopers. His features looked extremely bored as he picked the dirt from his nails with the tip of a pocket knife.

 

Rey paced the room feeling like a caged animal. They had to move and soon. Couldn’t understand why they had to drag the she-knight along. She was perfectly able to defend herself. Even with all that blood gushing from her head.

 

Ben had torn a piece of black cloth from her cape tying it snugly around her head.

 

“Are you almost done? We need to get out of here,” she observed.

 

The woman looked at her with those pale cold eyes, sizing her up. Rey just stared back as defiantly as she could.

 

“She’s the Jedi. You really are defecting to the Resistance. Valek wasn’t lying,” she stated accusingly, turning to Ben and trying to decipher his feelings.

 

“I told you earlier. I am leaving everything behind. I’m not going to the Resistance,” he answered calmly, shifting his eyes to look at Rey.

 

His gaze made her feel uncomfortable and Rey glanced back at Nyxx, who was peeling layers of clothing from his back and adjusting them to make his movements more comfortable. His sense of style was a bit too much for a day like this.

 

“What will you do?’ The knight asked reaching her hand to take hold of Ren’s as he finished tying the ends of the cloth in a knot.

 

“I don’t know, yet,” he answered dismissively, getting up from his crouched position as her hand fell away in defeat. He headed for Rey.

 

The blond woman looked at her icily and Rey felt oddly smug.

 

He stood right in front of her, intruding in her space as always and held out his hand. A shiver ran down her spine at the prospect of taking his warm hand in hers and wrapping her arms around his solid body. A part of her she did not wish to acknowledge ached to feel more than just a touch.

 

“The crystal,” he said. “Give me back the kyber crystal. You don’t need it anymore.”

 

She blinked up at him and he gazed steadily back.

 

_Is he serious?_

 

“Of course, I’m serious. I don’t want you carrying such a relic around in a torn pocket.”

 

“I’ve kept it safe this long…”

 

“You conjured Force lightning because of it. I can sense it on you. Don’t make me search.”

 

Rey huffed, catching Nyxx’s amused smirk out of the corner of her eye and she fished it out of the left breast pocket of her jacket. Ren’s eyes remained trained there a heartbeat longer, before dragging them up to her face with an affectionate expression on his face. Her stomach fluttered in response reminding her that she had skipped a meal again.

 

He took the crystal from her outstretched palm, squeezing her hand lightly. A bit like how her chest felt when he was this close. He glanced down at the kyber crystal with a frown before placing it carefully on one of the external pockets of his overcoat.

 

“All right everyone,” Nyxx rested his hand on the hilt of his stolen lightsaber. “Now that dark stuff are back to their rightful owner and we’re not leavin’ a trail of blood behind us, let’s get movin’.”

 

Neesha was the first to get up, all muscles and curves accentuating her stride as she followed a tip toeing Nyxx out the door. Rey decided that she didn’t like her one bit. Ben raised a hand in an ancient gesture of precedence to her, as a tug of amusement graced his lips.

 

But Rey didn’t move.

 

“Where will you go?” The she-knight’s question was looping anxiously in her mind.

 

“This is hardly the proper time to discuss this,” he replied, his hand dropping to his side in a fist.

 

“I know. But we still have a lot of ground to cover. And you are obviously not taking the _Falcon_ out of here. What if I lose you at some point?”

 

“We both know that can’t happen.”

 

The thread of energy unifying them hummed its presence, but not even that was enough to hush the dark susurrations whispering in her heart.

 

_I’ve seen his death._

 

“Ben, I don’t want to be parted from you again.”

 

He sighed, closing his somber eyes for a moment or two. His rigid posture softened and when he opened them again Rey could read the sorrow and fear and insecurity that had taken residence deep inside them. Feelings that so achingly bled through their bond for months now.

 

“I don’t know yet. I haven’t thought it through,” he concluded, resting his gaze upon her. “I might go from world to world at the beginning, forge some new identity perhaps. Either way I wouldn’t want that kind of life for you. It wouldn’t be safe.”

 

“Whereas staying in the First Order would have been safe for me?”

 

A small smile broke on his face that he tried to contain. But it quickly formed a wide grin, dimpling his cheeks and crinkling his eyes. He shook his head, laughter momentarily bubbling from his chest. He looked back at her, brown eyes gleaming with a lightness that stole her breath away.

 

_I’ve never heard him laugh before._

 

His mirth was contagious and she too smiled widely in response.

 

“You’re stuck with me,” she said, arching her eyebrows.

 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

She stepped up to him and laced her fingers with his as his features fell back to a more solemn expression. His gaze remained trained on hers as he studied her face. And she looked back at him steadily and unflinching. She didn’t know what it is that he found, but he leaned in pressing his lips tenderly onto hers once again. Their softness threatening to wipe away all sense of reality as they lingered on hers with yearning.

 

It didn’t last long because good things seldom do.

 

He broke away, color tinging his pale cheeks and a hint of a smile tugging on his lips.

 

It was time to go.

 

Their hands remained clasped and fingers tangled as they stepped out of the room.

 

*

 

_The Prometheus_ shook indicating another hit starboard. Shield levels were down to thirty percent according to some blinking number in Connix’s console. With this rate the ship would get incinerated before landing any real blows on the _Finalizer._ The _Cassandra_ seemed to be in better condition aided by a Mon Calamari vessel, from what Leia could tell from the readings, but things were still looking rather dim in this corner of the dog fight.

 

The viewport was lit up from blasters and ion canons being fired from all directions and was impossible to make out which ship was taking out what. All she knew was that the damned Dreadnought was gunning up aiming at the planet’s surface.

 

“Dameron,” she demanded over the intercom. “You were supposed to be dealing with the Dreadnought. Not sashaying you X-wing around the Star Destroyers. Report!”

 

Leia gripped her cane, her patience having run out when the shields of the ship were at fifty five percent.

 

Static filtered through and a very pissed off Poe soon followed, along with BB-8’s alarmed shrill.

 

“We have scored hits with the bombers,” his graveled voice came through. “But not enough to sustain any major damage. This beast is massive and we can’t find a weak spot.” A rattle and a curse shook the connection. “We need more firepower!”

 

Leia banged the palm of her hand on the desk in front of her in frustration. The Dreadnought would level the capital with just a few strikes. Everything would be lost.

 

_Rey and Finn are down there._

 

She snapped her gaze at Connix. “Inform our ships that we’re changing target. We have to take this Dreadnought out of the way.”

 

_Chewbacca is down there with the Falcon._

 

“And ask whatever ship the Mon Calamari have to spare to send it in support. We are on our way!” Leia informed Poe, eyeing the battle in front of her as if she could spot her pilot amongst the zooming ships.

 

“Leia, I don’t believe we can…”

 

“Don’t you dare tell me it can’t be done, Poe. Not you.” Leia shook her head.  “For Maker’s sake, my _son_ is down there!” she rasped, her voice giving out on her.

 

A pregnant pause followed her outburst as everyone on the bridge fell silent.

 

Leia did not take her eyes away from the viewport.

 

“Understood, General,” Poe answered a few moments later. “Let’s do this.”

 

* 

 

Rey felt his warm palm on the small of her back as the party treaded silently down a corridor. She tried to mimic Ben’s cloaking in the Force, in their attempt to avoid running into the knights that undoubtedly roamed around in search of them.  Nyxx was already at the end signaling for them to continue.

 

_Did I really run all this distance inside?_

 

Somehow unraveling her way back seemed a lot more tedious.

 

She looked up at the man walking in tandem next to her, eyes focused ahead and senses on alert. The bond fused her to him, enhancing her perception of their surroundings. He smoothly lit his saber cutting through an unfortunate Stromtrooper turning a corner, before he was able to alert anyone else. It was off in a blink of an eye and his arm snaked around her waist again. It gripped her side possessively and it made her chest expand with a fullness that made her throat clench. She stared at him again, and he caught her gaze with a softness that made it hard to tear her eyes away. Rey threaded her fingers with his, settled on her waist, in a silent promise.

 

_We will._

 

They would make it out.

 

They would live through this.

 

He nodded in agreement as he pulled her close to him, liquid eyes speaking what his lips would not part to say.

 

It felt so right having this man by her side. His strength becoming hers and her determination his. Their bond thrummed in peace and contentment and she knew all in the world was as it should be. Everything would find a way to fall into place like a puzzle, just the way their pieces were now locking together in a perfect fit. Intertwining in a way that would alter their world.

 

Ben tore his eyes from her and swallowed. She sensed an anticipation rising from him, but it wasn’t for the battle ahead. And along with it a feeling that she had never caught emanating from him. It felt light and flickering, as if it could get snuffed out with just a whisper.

 

_Hope_.

 

The corridor ended in a cavernous room with a domed ceiling supported by thick columns. Inside it numerous Stormtroopers stood guard and a bunch of prisoners sat with their backs on the walls. Rey vaguely remembered passing through it on her way in. On the other end of it, open doors allowed the grim light of day reflect off its polished floor.

 

No one moved for the span of a breath. She could feel Ben assessing the Stormtroopers’ intents with the Force. His brows creased and he mumbled in his deep voice.

 

“They have orders to stop me.”

 

Ben ignited his crossguard and the rest of them took that as cue to follow his lead. He twirled it in front of him throwing his arm out to wrench away as many weapons as he could grasp. Rey crouched next to him in an offensive stance that mirrored his, as the first blaster fire rained their way.

 

*

 

So he hadn’t held a lightsaber in a while. So what. Chances were he’d cut off a limb or something. But preferably not his.

 

Nyxx kicked a Trooper in the chest holding his saber above his head. That would probably be the safest position for all of them. He pulled out his loaned blaster with his other hand and emptied a few shots towards a couple of them circling Neesha. She was fending for herself smoothly despite the probable concussion in her brain. She was always tougher than she looked from what he recalled, her angelic features distracting her opponents long enough for her to strike lethally at them.

 

_This lightsaber is gettin’ in my way_.

 

He concluded, disengaging it and setting it in his pocket.

 

And a little cover would do as well, he figured as he shielded himself behind a column. Ben and Rey were taking care of themselves pretty impressively from what he could tell, working together in a way that make them seem like they were one mind.

 

He’d never seen anything like it.

 

_Damn they’re good_.

 

Just a few more Stormtroopers remained and they were all free to go.

 

Or so he thought.

 

“Traitor!” Valek bellowed from the steps of the entrance to the massive hall, pointing his lit saber in the direction of Ben. Aryn and Thone circled around Valek, walking leisurely down the few marble steps.

 

Ben had snapped his gaze at the knight, under messy strands of hair clinging on his face, while Rey was holding off a strike from and electro sword aimed at her man.

 

Valek stomped down the steps slowly in an arrogant show of power, saber lit at his side. The two knights were awaiting his orders and Aryn signaled at the remaining Stormtroopers to step aside. Holding his hand up, the electro sword flew to his grasp.

 

“This man,” Valek spat pointing at Ben. “Is to be taken into custody, tried and executed for his treason.” He said looking around at the Stormtroopers as if to emphasize his words. The men shuffled around uncomfortably. Then a snicker appeared on his face. “If he makes it alive that is.”

 

Valek’s eyes landed on Rey in recognition and a wide grin broke on his features. “As for the Jedi… she dies here while he watches.”

 

Aryn and Thone moved towards her and Ben slid protectively in front of her.

 

“What do you think you’re doing? I can…”

 

“Shhh….” He rested his left hand on her hip setting her right behind him. His crossguard was sizzling in front of him impatiently.

 

Nyxx watched Neesha, from his hidden position, as she slowly approached, relighting her saber and standing next to Ben and Rey. Valek’s face fell into a scowl. Her apparent choice of sides was tipping the balance of the fight against him.

 

“Neesha,” he offered his hand out. “Step away from them and we’ll consider this whole incident forgotten.” He warned her. There was a tremble to his voice, Nyxx noticed and a desperation in his eyes that spoke volumes about his concern for the knight. But the woman just eyed him coldly.

 

Valek’s hand turned into a fist as his ire rose.

 

“Move away! There is no reason for you to die here today,” he exclaimed.

 

Aryn and Thone exchanged wary glances as they circled the company in the middle of the hall. Thone tested the waters by striking at Rey but he earned himself a regal Force push by Ben, landing half way across the hall. Aryn continued his measuring pace twirling his saber and Rey turned a fierce gaze over her shoulder to gauze his intents.

 

Nyxx, closed his eyes setting his forehead on the cool stone of the column and banging it lightly a couple of times. It was now or never. He set his bag on the floor, removing his trench coat and adjusting his bandana firmly on his head. Didn’t want that one sliding down in the middle of a fight.

 

He stepped away from his position and out into full display, lighting the stolen saber on his side.

 

He could do this. He used to kick Ben’s ass for fuck’s sake.

 

_Well, occasionally._

 

Ben was the first to see him. His friend’s face fell into a silent plea asking him to remain hidden, but it was too late. One by one the knights all turned to look at him. Valek was the last one to do so, and his initial surprise morphed into a threat.

 

“You shouldn’t have come,” he stated plainly.

 

“Hi there, little brother.”

 

_“If you leave,” Valek grasped him from his shirt, as they stood behind the shuttle prepping up secretly in a hanger bay. “If you walk away from me now, don’t ever come back! I will hunt you down and kill you. You hear me?” He seethed between clenched teeth, unable to control the pain of his brother’s betrayal. “I will kill you!”_

 

_“_ I _warned_ you!” Valek exploded. He took the few steps that remained down to the blood-stained floor and approached Nyxx.

 

He saw out of the corner of his eye, Rey looking up at Ben curiously as he straightened his back and disengaged his crossguard. Thone and Aryn matched him, shutting off their weapons as well and watching the scene unfold with unflinching eyes. The Jedi’s blue saber remained lit, as Rey stubbornly refused to shut hers off.

 

“This isn’t your brother’s fault!” Ben called out, in an attempt to temper down Valek’s wreath. Nyxx appreciated the valiant gesture anyway. “Snoke used us all, turned us against each other to control us,” he continued. “Nyxx was the first to see that. We were too dangerous if we remained united.”

 

But his words fell on deaf ears as Valek brought down his saber in a vicious strike that Nyxx was able to parry in the last moment.

 

“You don’t have a say in this anymore,” Valek pointed an accusing finger at Ben. “We all trusted you and followed you without question. You and your mighty bloodline.”

 

_“Ben is strong with the Force, no one questions that. But he is too conflicted and driven by his emotions. Doesn’t always think clearly when he makes a decision,” his young brother had once confided in him, after a hearing with their Master. “Snoke sees that!” He supported vehemently. “He says I have focus. That I can achieve great power with his guidance.”_

 

_“Come on, Valek! You have to stop obsessing so much over Ben!” He couldn’t believe how quickly Snoke had picked up on Valek’s antagonistic emotions towards Ben and was already taking advantage of them. Nyxx was getting pissed off.  “Snoke doesn’t care as much about us as he makes us think. Don’t believe everything he says.”_

 

_“No. You’re wrong. He sees the potential in me…”_

 

_“He sees the potential of us turning on each other!” Nyxx rubbed a hand over his face in frustration. “Open your eyes!”_

 

Nyxx shook away the memory as he evaded a hit aimed at his side and brought up his own weapon to land on one of Valek’s double blades.

 

“You fucking idiot, you’ll get us all killed! And for what? So that you can say you were a good pet to Snoke?"

 

Valek hissed in answer and brought down a series of strikes and blows that Nyxx surprisingly was able to handle as muscle memory and instinct kicked in.

 

“We all chose to follow Ben that night. We all felt Skywalker was holding back knowledge. And we all have made mistakes!” Nyxx locked green eyes with those of Valek, as their weapons tangled together, bringing the two brothers close enough to touch noses.

 

“You left!”

 

“I did and I regret it. I should have found a way to take you with me,”

 

“An apology won’t cut it for you anymore, brother.”

 

Valek swept his armed hand in an agile move bringing the saber to Nyxx’s throat.

 

Ben was there in an instant holding Valek’s arm from slicing down on it.

 

“Ben, no!” Nyxx stopped him with wild eyes. “It’s his choice to make.” Ben clenched his jaw as Nyxx set a hand to his wrist tugging at it pleadingly. “It’s his choice to make…” he repeated.

 

*

 

Hux stared at Organa’s Resistance ship as it broke away from the siege on his _Finalizer_ , tearing the other two ships along with her.

 

_Good riddance._

 

There were only three ventral canons left functional on his Star Destroyer and shield power was fluctuating to dangerous levels. Those pesty ships knew where to aim.

 

He tugged nervously on the sleeves of his impeccable overcoat and sniffed his relief. This little reprieve would give him the time needed to collect himself and give the _Finalize_ r a chance to work on some malfunctions.

 

He took in the battle sprawled outside his viewport. The ally ships were giving his fleet a hard time. Two of his Star Destroyers were already in ruins and the commander of the _Absolution_ was barking for assistance over the intercom. Amongst others.

 

A decisive blow would have to be struck against Coruscant. One that would tip the scales of this battle to his favor permanently. On more than one way.

 

Hux turned his stiffly clad body away from the large viewport and marched his way to the closest officer.

 

“Where is Kylo Ren?” He clipped at the young man staring at a holoprojection of the capital city airing over his desk.

 

“Sir, his coordinates seem to be coming from the Senate Hall, along with the rest of the knights’.”

 

“Are they all gathered in one building, you mean?”

 

Could this be the chance he had been waiting for?

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“Contact Captain Phasma. I wish to speak to her.”

 

He had given the Dreadnought an order to warm up its orbital guns a while ago. Everything should be prepped by now.

 

“General,” Phasma’s characteristic drawl came through the intercom slightly more alarmed than usual. “A number of enemy ships have surrounded the Dreadnought and we have been sustaining their fire for a while now, but a bomber has inflicted direct damage to the portal side of the ship. Their ships are too quick and small for our canons to properly…”

 

Phasma paused as rattling came through the speakers along with a beeping alarm that she demanded to be silenced.

 

“The _Cassandra_ and the _Prometheus_ , General Organa’s ships have considerable firepower and are already locking on to us as we speak. I will need assistance, sir!”

 

This is precisely why he should have been there.

 

_Damn that Kylo Ren_.

 

“We will all need assistance, if we don’t change our strategy, Captain. You will fire at Coruscant as was the initial plan. The Senate Hall will be your first target. We are sending coordinates now!”

 

The young officer looked up at him pale-faced and wild-eyed.

 

“Sir,” he stuttered. “Isn’t that where…”

 

Hux silenced him with an icy glare.

 

Yes, time had come to rid himself and the galaxy of these unstable and unpredictable Dark Forcers.

 

General Hux narrowed his eyes at the viewport and clenched his hands behind his rigid back. He inhaled deeply.

 

“Captain, fire at will,” he commanded with a curl of his lips.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be hard. Bear with me.


	14. To fix what's been broken

Ren felt like an eternity had passed by before Valek shifted away from them, with a grunt and gritted teeth. His double blade saber remained lit by his side and and his chest was panting with rage. Ren knew the feeling very well.

 

“Let us go, little brother,” Nyxx said bringing his hands up in defense. “Just let us go. It’s no longer worth it.”

 

Valek glared at him from the corner of his eye, chest still heaving from emotion. His conflict eating him up. Kylo Ren gripped Nyxx’s shoulder tugging him towards the steps behind them. They had to move. Fast.

 

Nyxx succumbed and stepped back carefully, eyes still trained on his brother’s heavily armored form. But the ground beneath their feet gave way and their step faltered. They found themselves at the end of the stairs sprawled on a suddenly rumbling floor.

 

Hysteric screams and stomping boots filled the massive hall as people filtered in from the adjoining rooms and corridors of the grand building, the earth shaking relentlessly underneath them. Whatever Stormtroopers and prisoners had remained to witness the battle between the knights were also rushing towards the main doors, as dust and debris began to fall from the ornate ceiling.

 

Ren was up immediately helping Nyxx to his feet as well, as Rey rushed to his side slipping her slim hand in his and pulling.

 

“Come on, come on!”

 

She was squeezing his hand like her life depended on it. And perhaps it did. But there was no time to stop and consider what that meant.

 

Aryn had already slipped through the doors and Thone had dashed after him, but the doorway was congested by bodies pushing in a frenzy to exit the building.

 

A crack ran through the floor splitting the hall in two and he caught Nyxx sizing a tall window to their side. It was probably reinforced, but no match for Ren’s lightsaber. It seemed that Rey picked up on his train of thought as well, since they simultaneously ignited their sabers and strode for thein new point of exit.

 

The rumbling and shaking of the building was becoming so loud that they could barely hear the hissing of their sabers cut through the duraglass of the window, creating an opening for all of them to go through.

 

Ren glanced at Rey’s fierce features illuminated by her blue sword as she bared her teeth in effort. The color reflected from her pupils bringing him back months. To a dark snow dusted forest with melted snowflakes on her clear face and wet wisps of hair loose from her three buns. Gods, she had been breathtaking.

 

_Still is…_

 

He had started regretting too many things in his life. And it was a memory trip he didn’t particularly want to take. But his biggest regret about Rey was letting her slip away from him at a very dark time, when his rage circled him like a hurricane and all he cared about was vengeance and power.

 

Ren didn’t quite know when she started chasing his demons away. Soothing his emotions and dulling his fury. Perhaps it started on that fateful night in the forest. Maybe even earlier than that. But now, as he studied her face under the glow of the blue lightsaber that had once belonged to his family, he was certain that this girl had marched into his life for a reason. Destiny had brought them together in this very moment and destiny would not let them perish. His vision would turn out to be a lie. He wasn’t meant to die under a crumpling wall. No. He was meant to live. Next to her and her blinding light.

 

Rey’s eyes turned and held his for a long moment with an emotion that tugged on his chest and made their bond pulse in accordance. She looked beautiful.

 

_So beautiful._

 

The window cracked and shattered into a thousand glittering pieces allowing a gush of wind to come through, carrying dust and smoke and ash along with it.

 

“Ok everyone. Time to go!” Nyxx spurred them on.

 

Ren lifted Rey on the ledge of the window holding her hand as she easily climbed over it. She looked at their clutched hands, not letting go.

 

“Come on,” she urged him, wild-eyed and fierce.

 

“I’ll be right behind you!”

 

“No. Come with me now!” Her grasp on his hand strengthened. She did not want to let go. Not even for an instant.

 

“Rey…It’s ok. I’ll be right with you,” he squeezed her palm for a pulsing moment before disentangling his warm hand from hers. The tingling on his fingertips whispering of a moment lost.

 

A bleeding Neesha was shoved between them by Nyxx, who raised a finger in attention.

 

“Jump now. Argue later,” he stated as he stood on the ledge, grasping Neesha tightly to him. He efficiently shooed Rey over the window before jumping over the ledge himself.

 

Ren was about to follow, when a strong grasp clutched his cloak, tearing it from his shoulders and bringing him crashing on his back. Valek stood before him with the hilt of his saber staff on his throat.

 

“We’re not done yet.”

 

*

_He was supposed to be right behind me._

 

She couldn’t sense him following her.

 

Rey halted in her tracks as their small party rushed away from the shaking building.

 

She turned around searching for him with frantic eyes.

 

 _He said he’d be right behind me_.

 

But he was nowhere to be seen.

 

Only a collapsing building filled her vision and an approaching monstrous beam of fire that emanated from the sky, incinerating and leveling everything in its path.

 

And now it roared upon them.

 

_Noooooo…_

 

Rey screamed.

 

*

 

Her ears were buzzing, like that one time when a generator being dragged by a scavenger blew up under the scorching sun of Jakku. Only this was worse.

 

Rey turned on her back with a grunt. Gods, her head throbbed. Her whole body throbbed actually. As if she had dropped down the belly of a wrecked Star Destroyer and landed on its metal walls.

 

She lifted her arm.

 

_That’s not so bad._

 

Maybe nothing was broken after all.

 

Her eyes flattered open staring at the lead sky above her.

 

It was snowing. She could feel the light flakes fall on the skin of her face.

 

_So soft…_

 

She reached for the ones dancing around her, trying to touch them with her fingertip. But they shied away from her.

 

_Come here…_

 

She hummed. A melody was resonating in her mind. Some kind of tune that she couldn’t recall having heard before.

 

A flake landed on the tip of her nose and she struggled to look at it.

 

The color was wrong. Grey. Like ash.

 

Rey twisted her head to take in the surroundings.

 

Or whatever was left of them.

 

An endless landscape of rubble and fire lay before her, enveloped by a cloud of smoke that had made itself comfortable upon the broken skeletons of the remaining buildings. Occasional laser fire illuminated scarcely the scene of utter destruction before her and the rhythmic pounding of Gorrila Walkers’ procession vibrated the ground she lay upon.

 

It felt like a nightmare she was unable to shake away.

 

She could have sworn that just moments ago a majestic building was standing amongst the ruins and a tight grip was anchoring her to…

 

_Ben._

 

She raised herself on her elbows.

 

_Where’s Ben?_

 

Her mind was eerily quiet. And the bond felt like a string swaying with every gust of thought. Nothing like the taught thick cord of energy that hummed its presence with every fluctuating emotion between them.

 

Rey dug her nails on the ground pushing herself up to her unsteady feet, as she focused on the heaps of rubble a small distance away.

 

 _He was supposed to be right behind me_.

 

“Ben?” her voice croaked as a black avian flapped its wings ominously over her head.

 

_No._

 

Her body sprung to life as she darted for the building’s remains before her. Feet tripping over stones and knees scraping on the harsh ground, she followed the thread of energy to a heap of collapsed stones next to a partly intact thick wall. She dug her fingers in the debris and clawed till they were raw, removing stones and metal and glass with her bare hands.

 

Looking for a body clad in black.

 

She felt a hand on her shoulder and whipped her head to stare at a pair of green eyes smudged in charcoal. The man didn’t say a word. He just kneeled next to her digging his solid hands along with hers in the makeshift tomb.

 

Helping her search for that storm of a man that robbed her of her sleep.

 

A black slim boot stepped next to her and she immediately recognized the knight to whom it belonged to. She felt the woman pull on the Force and levitate an enormous metal beam blocking their way.

 

Freeing an access to disheveled black strands she yearned to touch.

 

_I think he’s still…_

 

Her hands trembled as she cleared away the pebbles and dust from his face and set her ear to his lips. Yes. A light breath fanned her hair. Rey looked up at Nyxx in hope.

 

“He’s breathing,” she said sliding her hands under an arm and grabbing tightly. “Help me.”

 

Neesha bent over, her aurous mane of hair turned silver because of the dust and took hold of Ben’s other arm, while Nyxx continued to lift debris away.

 

They slid him out and he grunted. A frown etched between his brows. He was in pain. Blood started trickling from a wound to his side and Rey immediately ripped her jacket to apply pressure on it. She glanced at his face that looked as pale as…

 

 _He’s lost too much blood_.

 

“His leg is broken.” Neesha stated over her. Rey glanced at the unnatural angle of the leg the knight was pointing at and the bone protruding from it. “And he has difficulty breathing. I hope he hasn’t punctured a lung.”

 

Rey pressed her lips in a thin line. The detached clinical assessment of the knight feeling like a punch to her gut. She caught movement from the corner of her eye and she turned to look at Nyxx cradling his head next to a black clothed unmoving body. It was Valek’s.

 

“Is he…?” She couldn’t finish the question. Feeling like it was dangerously close to the man bleeding under her hands.

 

Nyxx nodded, rubbing his face with his hand and sniffing.

 

“Yeah… He’s gone…” He reached for his brother’s eyes, shutting them closed as he whispered a few words under his breath.

 

Rey watched him, eyes stinging as a threads of fear started wrapping around her heart.

 

She glanced back at Ben who was laying still as stone.

 

“Nyxx,” she said.

 

_Time._

 

There wasn’t much time.

 

“Get in contact with Chewbacca and Finn. Give them our coordinates and tell them to come immediately.” She looked pleadingly at Ben’s friend. “We have to take him to a medical unit aboard one of Leia’s ships.” She shook her head as her vision blurred. “He won’t make it either.”

 

Neesha walked up to Nyxx, extending her hand in a firm grip as she helped him to his feet.

 

“We’ll be back soon,” she promised, scanning their surroundings before nodding at Nyxx to follow her.

 

Their footsteps disappeared quickly and she turned to look at Ben’s face. She lightly brushed his hair away from his closed lids, and wiped the blood running down his temple. She shifted her body to cradle his head on her lap, caressing it softly.

 

“Please… Hurry…” she whispered.

 

*

 

Leia Organa stood in front of the _Prometheus’s_ main viewport. Her small figure barely concealing a fraction of the massive Dreadnought filling the screen before her. Her hands were clutching the handle of her cane and her lips were pressed together as she studied the approaching bridge of the Mandator IV-class warship.

 

The Dreadnought’s frontal ion canons were taken out by Dameron’s black squadron, which was now circling the _Prometheus_ like a swarm of bees protecting its nest. The massive warship’s shields were temporarily down to a small percentage of their full capacity after being relentlessly bombarded by Resistance and ally ships. There wouldn’t be a better chance than this.

 

 Organa’s ship settled into position in front of the Dreadnought’s bridge and Leia narrowed her eyes as if she could look directly into the ones that belonged to her opponent’s commander. Perhaps with a little imagination she could make out frenzied movement in the respective bridge and even a glint of a silver-plated armor approaching the viewport.

 

The orbital guns of the Dreadnought had already fired on Coruscant once. She wouldn’t allow it again.

 

“Ma’am, we’re in position right in front of their main bridge,” Commander Connix informed her from a station to her side.

 

“Blow them up!” Leia ordered, leaning her body over her cane.

 

Who ever said you couldn’t learn an old dog new tricks was definitely wrong. She had taken this one out of her own recent experiences.

 

*

 

“You will be the one doing the talking, because I don’t understand a word that wookiee says,” Finn whispered at Rose’s ear as they were making their way up the Falcon’s ramp.

 

“I don’t either Finn! I just talk to him and try to decipher his body language after that. Chewbacca usually makes his intentions clear to anyone around him.”

 

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. He clearly doesn’t like me!”

 

“You are reading too much into this.” Rose scoffed as she turned to face Nyxx. “Aren’t you coming with us?”

 

Nyxx stood just outside the _Falcon_ with a hint of his usual smirk on his lips.

 

“Nah…I’ll catch another flight out’a here,” he commented with a vague gesture to the remaining docking ground around them. “Just get to Rey in time. And don’t pull out a blaster at Kylo Ren’s head like I asked.”

 

Rose nodded with a serious face, while Finn frowned his dislike about the passenger they were about to pick up.

 

“The Republic will deal with him when the time comes,” she stated. "Right now we need to get that copy of the cyber virus to Leia and see if we can put it into good use. Wish us luck!” she smiled punching the panel for the ramp to be raised.

 

_May the Force be with you._

 

Nyxx gave them a small wave as the ramp hissed shut and he trotted away watching the _Millenium Falcon_ hover off the ground. He caught a glimpse of Chewbacca on the pilot’s seat and the wookiee seemed to grunt his acknowledgment behind the duraglass. The freighter turned around and made its way towards the remains of the Government District.

 

*

 

_“Shhh…” soft fingers caressed his temple and hair. “It was only a bad dream.” It was dark and the voice had come to haunt him again in the night. Whispering promises he couldn’t understand and showing him shadows of a future he did not want. Warm arms wrapped around his frame, holding him securely close to a beating heart. A sweet scent engulfed him and his head was set underneath a long neck, as a low hum soothed him back to sleep._

 

He tried shifting his weight, to tangle his fingers in that long braid of silk hair, but a searing pain ran down his leg halting his movement. He shouldn’t have jumped from the _Falcon_ ’s haul like Chewie had warned him.

 

 _Strong hands slid carefully under his knees and arms, lifting his body effortlessly and cradling him next to a solid chest. The familiar smell of sweat and engine oil filled his nostrils. He looked up to a striking sun shadowing the man he so desperately wanted to live up to. Α_ _warm smirk hiding a pair of worried eyes filled his vision._

 

_“Don’t worry big guy,” a deep voice rumbled through him. “We’ve all had a couple of broken bones on our way to growing up. Now, let’s get you fixed up before mom sees us and gets all worried over nothing.”_

 

He tried to answer back, tell the man that he was sorry for upsetting him so, but his chest felt like a whole building had collapsed on it. His inhale was shallow and sharp, barely filling his lungs. And he couldn’t voice a word.

 

_“Breathe… Just breathe…” A pair of calloused hands took hold of his with reverence. He opened his eyes to a brightness he had never witnessed before. “Don’t hold on to emotions that cloud your thinking,” a familiar coarse voice spoke to him, wisened by years of silence. “Let them go and feed the Force. They will find a balance of their own in time. Keep your mind clear,” it carried on as he tried to follow its instructions. Somehow it seemed so easy now. Everything was so simple and plain. Why hadn’t he been able to see this before?_

 

Before…

 

All these years and years of hate and fury and bitter pain.

 

So much wasted time…

 

The brightness shifted to a form before him. An open face with hazel eyes swimming in tears. Her hair had fallen from their hold, a chestnut cascade of strands framed her beautiful features. She was crying. His girl was crying.

 

His eyes fell shut. It took so much effort for him to keep them open.

 

 “Time,” he said but his voice only came out as a whisper. He tried inhaling but his body just hurt too much. “I thought I’d have more time. Maybe then I…”

 

_Could find a way to fix what I’ve broken.  
_

 

“Shhh…” she hushed him. “It’s ok. Don’t think like that. We’ll get a chance to talk about everything. Just not now.”

 

She sounded so scared. Her voice quivered and her hands cradling his head were shaking. He wished he could steady them with his and make all her worries go away.

 

“You’ve got to hold on till they come and then everything will be fine. You’ll see.”

 

Come? Nobody would come for him.

 

“Rey…”

 

“No, no… Just hang on a little bit longer. Any minute now…”

 

He opened his eyes setting his gaze on her light features. His girl had no idea how empowering she was.

 

“Rey… Nobody is coming for me.”

 

She turned to look at him with a frown between her brows, studying his face for a few heartbeats as if trying to carve it into memory.

 

“Of course they are,” she replied with a coarse voice as new tears glistened on her lashes and spilled down her cheeks. He hated seeing her cry.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse from effort.

 

 _So many regrets_.

 

He tried to breathe again, but the weight on his chest was too heavy to lift.

 

“All the rage, all the hate… Look where it got us. You. Me.”

 

A deafening sound vibrated the ground and he felt Rey shielding him with her slim body. It should have been the other way around. He should have been the one protecting her from harm. But his tough scavenger knew how to survive. His girl would always find a way to survive. He was so proud of her. It filled his aching chest with breath and life and something more valuable than that. A feeling that merged them into one.

 

“Ben… I…”

 

_Yes. I feel it too._

 

Had felt it for a while now.

 

“I love you,” he heard himself voice as he set his gaze on her soft face. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and he so wanted to wipe them away, but there was a numbness to his limbs now that he was unable to fight. Her lips parted in response, but his senses were betraying him.

 

 He could no longer hear her.

 

 No longer see her.

 

Only her caresses remained to ease all fears away, finally bringing his turmoil of emotions to a still. Like a ray of sunlight breaking through a dying hurricane’s last gust of wind. Everything would be fine now.

 

 If he just closed his eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go. Stay with me.


	15. Carved in stone

Leia couldn’t believe the audacity of the man. The _Finalizer_ had jumped into light speed along with a handful of other Star Destroyers, abandoning the battle at hand. A big part of the First Order fleet was left in batters, exchanging fire with the Republic in a desperate attempt for defense. Chances were the ships that had remained were unable to take the jump and were left behind to deal with the consequences.

 

_The coward._

 

Leia thrummed her fingers on the table in front of her, her lips a thin line as she listened to the report from intel. Frustration rolled off from Poe next to her as the information presented seemed unbelievable to say the least.

 

“The Senate Hall was obliterated not too long ago by the Dreadnought. There are rumors saying the Supreme Leader along with his knights and his selected battalion were there.” The intelligence officer stationed in Coruscant hesitated before continuing with his report. “It was supposedly an attempt for a coop by General Hux.”

 

Poe glanced at Leia, whose face had just turned into stone. Not a single breath was heard on the bridge as everyone turned to look at her. A few moments passed before their General blinked and nodded.

 

“Thank you, lieutenant Wiles. That’ll be all,” she said, voice hoarse and lower than usual.

 

_They didn’t make it on time…_

 

“Leia…” Poe looked at her, his sympathy trying to carry a fraction of her sadness, even though she was aware of the man’s distaste for her son.

 

“We all knew the odds, Poe. It was a plan worth taking the risk.”

 

_He wouldn’t listen. Why couldn’t he just listen._

 

“Let me know if you hear from Rey. I’ll be in my office.”

 

She reached for her cane, somehow needing its support more than ever, as she got off her chair and slowly exited the bridge.

 

There was a numbness to her body that allowed her to put one foot in front of the other and walk step by step down the length of the corridor, leaning occasionally on her cane when she felt like her legs would give out on her. Her hands were shaking and her eyes kept fogging up, but she continued on.

 

She hadn’t felt his death.

 

Which meant that he was still out there somewhere.

 

Leia paused in the middle of the crowded corridor making room for two of her pilots to pass by, carrying a bloodied soldier towards the medical bay. Elegantly dressed Citizens of Coruscant, now homeless war fugitives, were laying exhausted on corridor floors or sitting dejectedly on top of crates and boxes. And scattered amongst them, with their helmets off, were men armored in white and black. Stormtroopers. Deserters of the First Order. Simple men looking for a place to belong.

 

Leia would have appreciated life’s bittersweet sense of humor, if it weren’t for that feeling of unease wedged in her heart.

 

Rey and her team hadn’t made contact with the ship yet and neither had Chewbacca.

 

_They must still be planet bound._

 

She closed her eyes, focusing on the vast web of the Force trying to find those glimmering Force signatures, one made of sun and the other like a storm, but it was extremely difficult to hold on to her concentration. The day was wearing her out.

 

A brush of light caressed her senses and she immediately recognized Rey. She was closer than she thought. And next to her…

 

_Dear Maker, next to her…_

 

Her throat clenched at the realization.

 

A feeble, marred presence was bleeding into the Force, on the verge of dispersing itself completely in the vastness of the universe.

 

_Ben._

 

*

 

“Alert the General!”

 

 _Her son is back_.

 

_I’m bringing him home._

 

Rey rushed through the hissing doors of the _Prometheus’s_ hanger bay, snatching the first person in her path from the lapels of his uniform.

 

“Where’s the medical bay?” She snapped at him. The battered officer, obviously not in the best of conditions himself, pointed down a cramped dimly lit corridor towards a door with its characteristic insignia on it.

 

A roar behind her pushed her to continue. She stumbled on, the sound of the wookiee’s stomping stride following her trail.

 

_Almost there._

 

Her heart was pounding, legs throbbing from exertion as she slammed her hand on the panel and opened the door with a groan.

 

Chewbacca rushed by her. The black clad body clutched on his form, unmoving. Limbs hanging, hair matted on his face and those eyes, which less than an hour ago were shattering her world, shut. She reached for his limp fingertips, just a brush really.

 

Just to feel him.

 

_To feel if…_

 

A member of the medical staff ran up to them, reaching for the man’s pulse and checking his eyes with a light. Swearing under his breath, he barked for a diagnostics table to be prepped.

 

Chewbacca laid him carefully on it, as more of the staff swarmed around the table reading out numbers and terms that made no sense to Rey.

 

A nurse approached them in her blue uniform checking Rey’s slash on her forehead and asking for other wounds.

 

“Him! Look after him!” she yelled smacking the nurse’s hand away. “He… he lost some much blood and that blast, the building…” she stuttered. “He was buried and I…”

 

“Sir. This is Kylo Ren...” a mumbled voice came from the jumble of people around the diagnostics table. “Do we carry on? I mean… he is…you know.”

 

“Do your job, Anaj!” The man who had initially upraised Ben snapped. “And someone get these people out of my way.”

 

One of the nurses looked wearily at the wookiee, as the rest of them stripped and tore the bloody clothes from Ben’s limp body, revealing a sight that wrenched her heart.

 

_Oh, gods…_

 

A shiver crawled down her spine, forewarning and dire.

 

Alarms went off.

 

An emptiness slammed inside her suddenly. Unbearable. Abysmal. Rey hunched over, unable to breathe from the enormity of it, barely registering the frantic movements of the people around _him._ The feeble thread of energy tethering her to the man in the center of the room snapped, its severed end throbbing and bleeding into the void of the Force.

 

_He’s not there anymore._

 

Chewbacca roared in anguish, giving sound to the pain tearing at her chest.

 

_He’s…_

 

_No._

 

Strong hands grasped her arms, pulling her away from _him_ and a voice pleaded for her to leave the room. She thought she heard Chewbacca whine his objection, but before she knew it a metal door was shut in front of her eyes, taking away the sight of midnight strands sprawled on a table.

 

The silence of the corridor rang in her ears.

 

She slid down the door, forehead resting on the cold metal surface and eyes swimming in unshed tears.

 

_Bring him back._

 

Rey pleaded.

 

But the stillness around her only mirrored the Force.

 

*

 

Everything is so simple.

 

The man now knows.

 

 There is no space.

 

_“Sir, blood pressure and heart rate cannot be acquired.”_

_“Inject cortical stimulants and intubate immediately. He has an unstable chest wall. Anaj, insert the chest catheter now. We must drain the pneumothorax.”_

_“Do I hook him to a bacta drip? He’s lost a lot of blood from the ruptured spleen.”_

_“Haven’t you already? What the hell is wrong with you?”_

_“Heart is not responding to cortical stimulants.”_

_“Insert electrical heart conductors. Now! Come on lad, give me some help here. Your mother has waited too long for you.”_

 

There is no time.

 

_“Where did you go? You can’t wander away in crowds like that.” Wide brown eyes stared at him and a pair of delicate hands grasped his arms. “You scared us to death. Don’t ever do that again.” Arms came around his small frame clutching him fiercely to a slim body._

_“Master Ben, I must warn you. You gave your mother, the princess, quite a fright.”_

 

There is no pain.

 

_“Harness the pain!” A thunderous voice shook him to his core, delving for the emotions that knew were just a scratch away. “Let it fuel your anger and hate, boy, and no one will stand in your way again. You are the chosen one. The grandson of Darth Vader.” His body ached and every nerve on his body was electrified from the Force lightning his Master had inflicted on him. Kylo Ren dug deeper than usual for the feeling of hate. For his parents. For his uncle. But most of all for himself._

 

There is only peace.

 

_A pair of hazel bright eyes stared back at him and he could swear the whole galaxy was enveloped inside them. He touched with the pad of his thumb, the light freckles on her cheek and a wide smile broke on her face capturing his heart. How stupid of him to think that anything else had ever mattered._

 

Awareness.

 

_“To join the Force, time it is not, for the young Skywalker.”_

_“The kid has a lot to learn, still.”_

_“Eager he is. But impatient, as well. Too much of another Skywalker, he reminds me. Hmmm?”_

 

And energy.

 

_Bring him back._

_Force, please…_

 

The man sits in darkness, cool gusts of wind ruffling his hair.

 

He waits, hands splayed on the wet sand, gaze set on the stars glittering in the vastness of space.

 

He holds his breath for the end he knows is to come.

 

But he doesn’t know that the Force is always in motion.

 

And fate is not carved in stone.

 

Blinding light erupts from a misty horizon before him, chasing away the bruised shadows of the night. Its rays mirroring on the crystal surface of a lake and dancing on the dew drops of a meadow. They caress his face and whisper of a lost home.

 

The man blinks, the brightness of the sun causing his eyes to squint. It seeps in the crevices of his lids, touches the tip of his nose and the fullness of his lips.

 

He closes his eyes reveling in the sun’s warmth kissing his skin and the soft breeze threading its fingers through his tresses. The moment is serene yet exhilarating. It soothes him and intoxicates him at the same time and it reminds him…

 

His fingers dig in the wet sand, a drifting memory just on the verge of his grasp.

 

It reminds him so much of…

 

His eyes snap open.

 

The light in unbearably bright by now, stinging his irises and causing his body to ache. But the man unfolds himself from his crouched position, straightening his body to his full height and clenching his fists. And as the light engulfs his dark form, he takes in a shuddering lungful of crisp air and thinks of nothing else but a smile made of sun.

 

_"Sir… We have a heartbeat!”_

 

_*_

 

You can find me on Tumblr [here](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/koderenn)!

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank every single one of you who have taken up the time to read this story. It was meant to be the beginning of Ben's redemption, so some of you may want to finish here. For anybody who'd be interested to catch up to all the loose threads I've left throughout the story, you'll have to wait for the next installment named "Silence" which will be dealing with the aftermath of Ben's and Rey's severed bond. It will take me a couple of months before I start posting. Thank you so much for the kudos, bookmarks, and wonderful reviews! Goodnight!  
> 


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